[QUOTE]Originally posted by Freebird:
"... ten years ago my right side was dead. There was no life nor feeling on my right side, which had doctors greatly concerned...It is only within the last eight years that life has returned to my right side of the body. "

Hi Freebird,

Did you know that Teresa of Avila, as a young woman, went through a phase of severe paralysis?

Hi Ryan,

Thank you for sharing the information about Saint Theresa's paralysis. During this state of deadness of my right side according to my physicians it was the left side, which many consider the feminine side, that took over all the functions of my body.

Saint Theresa seems to be a guide watching over me. She was a beautiful woman and I have a photograph of her on top of my computer. This photo belonged to my late husband's first wife, and it became a cherished belonging of mine for over twenty some years. It is quite amazing as to how I have similar spiritual experiences within the kundalini process, love for God, and as you now have mentioned a paralysis, which in my case was evidently induced by shock and/or trauma allowing me still the use of my body in walking, etc.

We have so many guides and watchers surrounding us and I believe that Saint Theresa does watch over me as one of my special angels.
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Ryan, I do enjoy your contributions so very much.

I have enormous "right side" struggles, including the pain in the ribs some of you have mentioned, and also incredible commotion in my right ear. Years and years of this. I've shared it with my doctor, and have had a number of tests done, but they find nothing (of course!). I've even had cortisone shots, which had a brief effect, but nothing lasting. It's just one of those things I've come to live with.

All is not lost, however, for it is not totally dead, and there are many days when the right side is buoyant and joyous. I know this is more likely to happen when I take more time for relaxation. So it seems the right side is indeed the somatic foundation for "asserting" while the left is more receptive (I'm always awake on the left side); that all correlates with classical yang and yin descriptions, respectively. When the right side is coming alive, I experience deep sighs and often tears; it seems it's just plain "whupped." Honoring the needs implied by these dynamics is a major, ongoing lifestyle struggle for me.

All that said, I do not experience these right and left energy flows as consciousnesses, nor do I view their integration as a contingency for experiencing God's love, connection to the risen Christ, nor even the realization of Self. It all seems to be very much about the "embodiment" of spirit, the prospects for which, in the body I have, at least, seems dubious, at best. I definitely need a new, risen body for these flows to work right, and am grateful that Christ has provided a basis for this.

Phil, I have a tremendous compassion for your struggles on the right side of your body. I also acknowledge your deep spiritual insight which correlates with mine as to the embodiment of "spirit" within.

It is this right side which is born anew, filling the whole body with the light of the spirit in its resurrection and new birth being lifted above as the son of man. Like Moses lifting the staff in the dessert, so must the son of man be lifted above.

The Fall to me also represents your description of same on kundalini and the Holy Spirit thread. Our libido has fallen and must be lifted back within our bodies. This is one of the most difficult accomplishments for any of us and truly depends upon the love and graces of God, and is not due to our own sole works and efforts. There has to be a death, the well known battle between spirit and the flesh.

Unless the libido is lifted through the first chakra, it will always settle below and one is unable to experience the rising of the transmuted libido, psychic energy, into fine spiritual energy arising in the birth of spirit, who grows like a fetus within us ever expanding throughout the body.

This is why I have previously labeled the passing through the first chakra as the removal of the "dragon's grip", the flesh holding us with its lusts and the expenditures of sexual energies outwards. The passing through the first chakra is equal to the mentioning of a door, which when passed through must be sealed, so that further transmutation of the libido can take place into the flowing energies that continue to ascend and pierce the chakras. Only God can seal this door for many have passed through only to fall once again.

All this great work and miracle taking place within our new birth and kundalini process is dependent upon the guidance and obedience to God's Holy Spirit, the Master Builder and Creator who gives life by quickening the spirit within us. Spirit giving birth to spirit.

Question from Phil:

quote:

What other good fruit would some of you find from this spiritualized sexuality?

It�s also my experience that they help with opening chakras, removal and healing of energetic blockages etc. They are high energy states and in these such things become possible more easily.

Dear new friends,
It has been good to catch up on all the new posts after 5 days away. This has been such an interesting and helpful thread, and you have all been so willing to be open and vulnerable. As when I first started with this website in general, I'm more comfortable just reading than posting on this topic. Suffice it to say that my own k awakening has been very sexual, and that has been the most disorienting aspect of it. So it has been a gift to read what you have to say...perhaps I'll join in later. Isn't it interesting that in this sex-saturated culture, the whole area of sex and divinity is embarrassing (at least to me) and almost taboo?

Freebird, condolences on the loss of your friend.

Ryan, whether or not you truly lack the charisma to be a social worker or whatever, I think there are many here who do look forward to learning from you.

Phil, I'm glad you're there for us.

Revkah

- responding to Freebird's post, above:

That all makes sense in the context of embodiment of awakened spirituality. To me, it's a bit of a stretch to relate this to Moses' lifting the staff in the desert, or even to the birthing of the son of man in our being. In John's Gospel, where this "lifting up" is mentioned, it is in reference to the Cross, not the resurrection, and certainly not any kind of occult or esoteric gnosis.

The Christ is birthed in us through faith and baptism with or without k rising, and the fultimate fulfillment of that will not and can not take place in this body, imo. The best we can hope for with this fallen system of ours is a taste of what is to come. Also, many have k awakening without much evidence of faith in Christ, so it makes little sense to speak of a rising of the son of man/Christ in these people. Self is not Christ, and k awakening seems to be very much more about embodying Self than divine union with Christ. Many Christian mystics have described deep and profound union without much evidence of k to show; in my own life, I also experience the love of God to go on with our without k phenomena. These movements all converge in your experience, and the way you describe it makes sense. But sometimes it seems that you're generalizing beyond such in a manner that suggests k awakening to be essential for rebirth in Christ . . . almost a kind of Christian gnosticism, really. I don't mean this as a criticism of your experience and how you understand it, but of the way you generalize beyond. That's a "teaching" and, as such, it is subject to dialogue and critique. Same goes for anything I or others around here offer as "teaching" as well, of course.

All energy is God. There is nothing that exists that is not God.

What I am about to say is what was experienced by me visually and by my knowing within, which was the merger of my lower (libido) and higher. It is the libido that flows. Same can flow from one person to another.

In my relationship ten years ago with the man I was involved with, my libido flowed right into his body. He became my Master, and I was his slave. I danced and interacted in a love affair with a man who had stolen the masculine right side energy of my body. This is a circumstance that can happen between people knowingly and unknowingly. In my situation, I believe that the man had extensive occult knowledge and knew what he was doing by the vampirization of my energies from my body.

What freed me was the marriage of heaven and earth. The libido having fallen from grace needs to awaken, since it is asleep.

Within me there was an appearance of the feminine, which in me is the higher and whom I call our Heavenly Mother. The stolen energy from me awoke in this man. Looking upon the appearance of Heavenly Mother, surfacing upon me, he said: "Oh my God hasn't any man ever loved you?". What followed thereafter was a kiss between this man and myself, and the stolen energy, the libido, returned to me in God's cup of blessing by being merged back with the higher, which represents to me "Heavenly Mother" from above. God in His love and mercy had returned to me the awakened libido, the fallen nature, which awakened to its true being. The fall caused the libido's unconsciousness and deep sleep.

Of course, this was not something the slave Master desired. He attempted to spiritually rape me to regain what he had lost. The blessings of the Lord God kept me whole and as you all know, I left this individual ten years ago and embraced a new life with healing love, and gifting of a new birth as one in the kundalini process. This is another reason as to why I often mention that our Lord God is One and not divided. Would I have lost the libido, I would have been divided and unable to embrace this new birth and merger within the heart of Christ, the marriage of heaven and earth.

Phil's quote:

These movements all converge in your experiences, and the way you describe it makes sense.........But sometimes it seems that you're generalizing beyond such in a manner that suggests k awakening to be essential for rebirth in Christ.
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Phil, our discussions are contributions and sharing within our experiences. We all can accept and/or reject what is expressed by any of us. To ourselves we must be true, and in a spiritual maturity one should not ever be influenced by another.

Kundalini was unknown to me ten years ago. You may be right in your assumptions that kundalini is not essential for a rebirth in Christ. I did not seek this process of kundalini in any way whatsoever. I never did yoga, nor received shaktipat, nor did mantras, etc. We cannot rule out the reality of kundalini awakenings on a major scale of humanity. I do not have the answers as to why, neither does anyone else.

I have never studied Christian gnosticism, but would like to learn more about same.

. . .You may be right in your assumptions that kundalini is not essential for a rebirth in Christ. . .

Yes, that's a point I think we need to affirm. There are millions of Christians who have deep relationship with God and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit but no knowledge of kundalini. Some post regularly on this forum, and I meet with around 30 people for spiritual direction regularly and that's true of all of them. My wife doesn't have K experience, but she is a woman of deep faith and love for God.

K seems to be a special situation found more among contemplative types, and even then, not all of them. It also seems to be more related to the emergence of Self-consciousness than anything else, which is why we find evidence of K outside of Christian spirituality.

Our discussions and contributions are not just within and about our experiences, but also about how we understand them and even generalize about them. For me, there is a distinction between my experiences and my interpretations of them. Even the "knowings" that so often seem to be part and parcel of experiences are "fair game" for further critique. E.g., a pain on the right side is, at the level of experience, nothing more. What helps it to ease up, and what makes it worse is also just data. Talking about it as "male energy" is interpretation -- maybe correct, in a certain system of understanding -- but it's certainly not part and parcel of the experience.

What I'm looking for in all of this is a way to understand what's going on that is congruent with what science, philosophy and Christian theology affirm. That's not been easy to come by, but it's worth the effort; the manner in which we understand our experiences influences their integration and unfolding. So I'm admittedly a bit of a stickler about the way we talk about these matters, and no offense intended to anyone. But, to my way of seeing things, we're all very much learners and discerners who can stand to learn from one another.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Phil:

In John's Gospel, where this "lifting up" is mentioned, it is in reference to the Cross, not the resurrection, and certainly not any kind of occult or esoteric gnosis.

Hi Phil,

Must it be either or? It seems in John, the cross and resurrection are sort of superimposed on one another in that the "lifting up" on the cross becomes suggestive of a glorious ascension. I came across some notes on this topic on my desktop just now that may be relevant to further consideration of this matter of biblical interpretation.

Here are my notes:

And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. John 2.14

Num. 21.9 And the Lord said to Moses, �Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and everyone who is bitten shall look at it and live.� So Moses made a serpent of bronze, and put it upon a pole; and whenever a serpent bit someone, that person would look at the serpent of bronze and live.

The Lord said to Moses, �Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole... So must the son of man be lifted up.

Everyone who is bitten shall look at it and live...
That whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

John 8.28 when you have lifted up the son of man than you will realize that I am he...

Jn. 12.32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself. He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die...

What is meant by �the kind of death� he was to die? John 18.31-32... On a literal historical level, a death penalty administered by Romans and not Jews (a death on a cross) is one aspect the �kind of death.�

In John�s direct accout of Jesus' execution, he is not described as being �lifted up�. Figuratively, the word �hypho� means exalted. He was clearly exalted in the resurrection. With Thomas he says, blessed are you who believe who have not seen.

That is the end of those notes. But to round out this section and bring it back to the topic of this thread, I offer one more little text:

Jesus said to her, "Don't hold me, for I haven't yet ascended to my Father; but go to my brothers, and tell them,'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"

Is there not a hint of uplifting spiritualized sexuality here?

Phil, I want to stress the love and courage it takes to reveal one's vulnerabilities in sharing experiences. My own purpose is in knowing that there is someone who may be helped by my revelations, and not by my seeking attention to my own specialness nor in my believing that I am the one with all the answers, which I most certainly do not have. Furthermore, my experiences are not solitary, but can be testified to by reputable spiritual teachers surpassing your own knowledge on the kundalini process, as well as my own. So what I am sharing is not nonsense nor whimsical but does have truth behind same. It also has helped numerous persons surface from a dark confusion and has given them hope, knowledge and understanding within their kundalini process and spirituality.

As you said, we are learning and discerning together. I feel like I have received a scolding, which is making me quite uncomfortable since I certainly do not deserve same for sharing my experiences with a loving and giving heart.

Ryan, this is absolutely amazing what you wrote:

Jesus said to her "Don't hold me, for I haven't yet ascended to my Father;...........
Is this not a hint of uplifting spiritualized sexuality here?
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Wow, Ryan, I meditated on exactly this earlier today. Jesus loved Mary Magdalene. Any human male knows the power within the arms of a woman who loves him, like a ton of chains around a man weakening him with the desire to stay. Jesus as the son of man and son of God had human feelings of love, which is so hard for humanity to accept. Great observation on your part.

quote:

Originally posted by Freebird:
I feel like I have received a scolding, which is making me quite uncomfortable since I certainly do not deserve same for sharing my experiences with a loving and giving heart. [/QB]

Hi Freebird,

I feel you anger and pain. At the risk of annoying you further, I'll add, rest assured your loving, giving heart is appreciated, not only by me -- and oh how I do -- but also, I think, by Phil, though from a different angle, an angle befitting a the fine moderator that he is. His point is about theological method. As they say, "don't take it personally."

All good points, Ryan. I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that the resurrection is a reference to spiritualized sexuality, however; everthing about Jesus' physical life is changed. But, for sure, the symbolism of the uplifted serpent is very rich indeed. This article goes so far as to look at what kind of snake it might have been that Moses and co. were contending with.

Freebird, I am just pointing out that experiences and their interpretation are not the same thing. I tried to give an example regarding the issue of pain in the right side; there are many, many ways to account for that. But, mostly, I do not want to give the impression here that kundalini awakening and integration are necessary for the birthing and growth of Christ in our souls. It seemed to me that some of what you were saying could have given that impression.