Ryan:

Nope. No financial wealth here. And I'm not really in the seeking mode at this time.

Just to tell you all that I'm enjoying the sharing and exchanges, but, given the fact that I'm the only one around here who's not doing so under a pseudonym or first-name only, I don't feel comfortable disclosing some of the more intimate aspects of my marriage than I've already done.

Thanks for the link to the Gopi Krishna article, Freebird. I'll post a few reflections on it later.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Phil:
" I don't feel comfortable disclosing some of the more intimate aspects of my marriage than I've already done. "

I understand Phil, I'm under a non-public name, and I still don't tell all that I might tell if say, I was with a therapist.

quote: Originally posted by Phil:

"I don't feel comfortable disclosing some of the more intimate aspects of my marriage than I've already done."
-----------------------
Absolutely Phil, out of respect, love and honor for your wife and your marriage. Another reason would she venture unto your site and read anything personal, I can guarantee that the guest bedroom would be the next step for you with the undesired result of celibacy.
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Thanks Ryan
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One of the great benefits within the kundalini process is the inner light of spirit that forgives everyone including my own tresspasses toward others. To do so spirit gives strength to return into the past where lingering unresolved or hidden unknown pain and grievances need to be addressed with courage and strength. I advise everyone not to attempt this into the past journey unless one has reached the level through the graces of God with a total forgiveness.

Christ's words of "you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free", has been a guiding light to me. Being able to return to situations without negative emotions surfacing, and being a watcher and observer is a true blessing. More than ever I realize the importance of our lives being a learning school, I desire to learn my lessons now. By my brave efforts I have seen how my own selfish wants and desires contributed to some of my painful past experiences. I now can take responsibility for my own actions without putting any blame unto others. The awakening right mind within me allows me to see the error of my ways that were caused by having a wrong mind. It is a great joy not to be able to blame another, nor oneself but realizing that our work is in forgiving and in learning within God's love for ourselves and others.

quote:

Originally posted by w.c.:

"Nope. No financial wealth here. And I'm not really in the seeking mode at this time. [/QB]

"

Yup, the dream was about me.

quote:

Originally posted by Freebird:
[qb] quote:
I put the hands upon myself and experience this flowing bliss for hours. The joy of same surpasses any sexual experience with another from the past, the few have all faded away in my memory. [/qb]

Freebird, I am deeply grateful for this sharing you have offered to us all. Over the past couple of days I too have had such bliss experiences, inner pleasure that surpassed ordinary sexual pleasure. It is the inward upward flow. Pure, at times like a clear lake of water, glassy still. At times tender. At times, waves of light.

Meanwhile, my everday life is fine as I'm growing in my ability to respond to diffiicult situations with calm attentiveness.

Dear Ryan,

The river of life flows upwards as we are joined together as one within that life giving river taking us home. This is Christ's river of life that connects all of humanity within its flowing through the narrow gate. Each one of us is welcomed home entering through the narrow gate, one by one. Christ's river is eternal life making us one together and one with Him. Oh the bliss and joy within our brotherhood and sisterhood as we flow within this mighty river of God. For the Hindus this river is called Ganges. Know Ryan that when you experience this bliss and joy of flowing in love and freedom that everyone who has this awakened flow is flowing with you joined together as one. Hallelujah!.

Enter our Heavenly Mother's womb

Waters of life glisten
on the river of time
while purity of soul creates a harmonious rhyme

waters run deep in the psyche of man
submerged in the unconscious
an uncharted land

immerse beneath the waters
enter her womb
spontaneous renewal
a cyclic tune
another opportunity
to begin once again
the past kisses the future
while present scars start to mend

purity of life
flowing in harmonious time
waters of the soul glisten
as the river sings her rhyme.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryan:
[qb]
Meanwhile, my everday life is fine as I'm growing in my ability to respond to diffiicult situations with calm attentiveness. [/qb]

I was hoping one of you would share something along these lines. The inner bliss you describe sounds wonderful, and I've had tastes of that, at times. It hasn't always left me well-suited to my daily tasks, however. Calm, peaceful, and very open: yes! But somewhat "spacey" as well . . . not easy to focus mentally . . . almost like the intellect is open and passive as in contemplative experiences, only, with the latter, it seems that the mind/reason is somehow integrating the experience on some level, so that the Ego is becoming better integrated in Self and God.

What other good fruit would some of you find from this spiritualized sexuality? Do you think there's some kind of danger that it could lead to excessive absorption with the experience to the exclusion of other relationships?

Phil's quote: Do you think there's some kind of danger that it could lead to excessive absorption with the experience to the exclusion of other relationships?
--------------------------------

Absolutely, it happens within the monastic life of mystics, nuns, monks, and also among Eastern yogis, saints and the lineages of monks and holy men and women.

Phil, it also depends upon the station of life and circumstances within relationships one is in at the start of this spiritual process. Furthermore, it depends upon your kundalini symptoms for we know that some individuals have such a difficult time that they barely manage to make it through a day with just being with themselves. There have been cases that some men and women found the responsibilities of marriage and children so overwhelming that these individuals have left these relationships to seek a refuge within a spiritual community.

Like everything else in life, there are individuals who like you, Phil, are mentally stable even during difficult stages in this process and maintain the life that you have chosen. Balance is the desired, yet every case is a bit different, so what works for one may not be the answer for another.

Even in a solitary life when open to God, He will not allow you to be idle, but use you in service to others or in the establishment of intimate friendships with people.

In my integration it is vital for me to be well rounded which includes my counselling practice, friends and service within the community. I have learned to tune into my stress level and know as to how much I can commit, and when to rest.

For example, my friend Russell passed away last Saturday night. Since then I have comforted and guided his family and some of his friends. This Thursday I had a scheduled luncheon date at my home for friends, which I rescheduled due to my lack of energy. This is wisdom in knowing how much I am capable in giving of myself without depleting the cup of spirit within me.

I believe in the very beginning of the kundalini awakening, everyone is absorbed in wanting to know about the process. Lots of energy is expended in researching, etc. The danger I see with continued absorption is self-evident in the lessening of interacting with others or being unable to function in those areas that need our attention.

Some married women escape into a fantasy world which of course hinders the loving exchanges with a husband, children, friends, work,etc. Also taking into account is spiritual pride in seeing ourselves as special, etc.

In the majority of people the further the kundalini process has advanced, the less self absorption may be evident and is a reality.

Freebird, I was speaking more about the experience of prolonged spirituo-sexual ecstacy than the K process per se. I'm not aware of much literature concerning how it impacts the lives of mystics, nuns, monks, and also among Eastern yogis, saints and the lineages of monks and holy men and women. Have you come upon something about that, or can you speak from your own experience of any benefit you find from the hours of bliss you experience in addition to the enjoyment of it (not that that isn't a great good in and of itself). That's what I was wondering about.

Phil's quote:

... or can you speak from your own experience of any benefit you find from the hours of bliss you experience in addition to the enjoyment of it.....
-----------------------------------
Yes I can testify the true benefits in experiencing the above. The bliss and enjoyment times has helped with the opening of my heart and the experience of oneness of us all. These hours are a gift in forgiving and healing for myself and others. There is not a preoccupation with experiencing these feelings solely for myself. The sexual that was intense has been transmuted into a higher understanding within the workings of the process. It is hard to explain that even though there is the continued feeling of penetration, and increased energy flow within my spinal canal it is like I just have accepted this as a part of the transformation without dwelling on the sexual aspect of same. This may just be a phase I am experiencing now, since we know the process changes rapidly from one state to another, and as Irene mentioned different chakras seem to come alive by this energy. Also the merger of the left and right side continue, or they seem to appear to merge.

So the hours of bliss I do share as a gift and offer up to God in His work in guiding the energies higher is not something that overwhelms me to the extent that I am incapable of doing my other daily chores and responsibilities.

Within the flowing upwards there is the realization as I mentioned in my earlier post of being within a river that is joined together with others. Within the spinal canal there are no longer any blockages as energies fill my brain. With closed eyes I share this joy and happieness of this blessed river in awakening daily to the oneness of us all.

I can honestly say that kundalini integration is not solely a gift for the receiver, but for the benefit of all. Don't ask me to explain, I just know that this gift is not solely for ourselves.

Thanks for your sharing on this, Freebird. I had read the following by Gopi Krishna and so I was wondering:

quote:

For confirmation of what I say, read the lives of mystics. They spurned everything. They never cared for riches, for wealth or for position. They were all engrossed, day and night, in their inner bliss. And when it failed them sometimes, they were in despair.

Those don't sound like Christian mystics to me; very few of them speak of being "engrossed . . . in inner bliss." GK is obviously speaking more from his Hindu tradition; he thinks this bliss is even higher than Heaven's.

All in all, I've enjoyed GK's writings and appreciate his efforts to try to situate K in a larger context. Some of his hypotheses are a bit over the top, imo, but he's quite open to having them investigated and so differs from gurus, who often seem to present their teaching as "the word."

- - -

I wonder if those of you who experience this "penetration" on the right side ever considered that it might not be so much a phallic kind of thing as a sharing in Christ's risen body. Recall that he was speared on that side, and that a few Christian mystics and artists have spoken of his wounds as openings through which the new life flows out to all. Considering that he was beaten to a pulp from head to toe, the channels must surely be many.

Phil, you have an interesting observation re Christ's sufferings on His right side.

I don't recall if I had ever mentioned in my testimony from last year that when I first came here to Oregon ten years ago my right side was dead. There was no life nor feeling on my right side, which had doctors greatly concerned. I had been spiritually raped by the man I had a relationship with and whom I left. I stayed faithful and obedient to God as I entered my new unfamiliar life trusting Him completely.

It is only within the last eight years that life has returned to my right side of the body. It is like the son of man is being resurrected within me, and like the sun of righteousness is rising with healing in its wings, being lifted as the son of man above within the kundalini integration and trandformation.

Finally the power and strength is once again surging through my right arm and hand.

See how our mind works, Phil, I thank you for speaking of the agonies and pains Christ endured, for I recalled my former state of being.

Since the penetration of me does come from the right side of me, there is no doubt the graces and healing power of God is regenerating my whole body with a new life.

[QUOTE] Originally posted by Phil:
[qb] But somewhat "spacey" as well . . . not easy to focus mentally . . . [/qb][/

Yea, that sounds like me. That's part of the reason I'm working as a baker. There are times when focus is necessary. But often, it is low-stress in that respect.

"...almost like the intellect is open and passive as in contemplative experiences, only, with the latter, it seems that the mind/reason is somehow integrating the experience on some level, so that the Ego is becoming better integrated in Self and God."

I'll reflect on that.

"What other good fruit would some of you find from this spiritualized sexuality? Do you think there's some kind of danger that it could lead to excessive absorption with the experience to the exclusion of other relationships?"

Thanks for asking! As for �danger� I guess I have relatively few relationships, but I try not to lead people on to think that I will give more than I will. So I don't often find people disgruntled around me. There is one person I think of I need to give some more attention. But I think I did ok today with her.

Part of the "calling" as I see it, is that my absorption in bliss is a consolation given that I'm less, shall we say, attractive socially than I would wish I were. I wished I could have been a social worker or a teacher, but to do so, it takes some charisma, some� I don't know what, that makes people want to learn from you. So since there aren't many people wanting my help or wisdom, it is better that I enjoy solitude rather than become a busy body. Childlessness comes into play too. So it seems to me at this time.

On the fruit side. This is hard to talk about when I�m still in process. I don�t want to claim fruit before it�s ripe. I�ll reflect on that though. I love the list of spiritual fruit in Galatians 5:22. They seem to resonate with my condition and I�m integrating those words into my meditation time with the hope of manifesting them in life.

�Self-control� is one of the fruits of spiritualized sexuality as I see it. I�m not a eunich, physically speaking, but I�m the sort of chap who could be trusted in the king�s harem. I don�t want to claim too much credit though � I�m not attractive in the way that the guys who �get laid� are attractive. It�s not as if I�m turning away aggressive female suitors. So, socially, I guess my self-control has to do with accepting what is. Which isn�t much to brag about� except if it is �weakness� in the sense that St. Paul speaks of it � the sort of weakness that predisposes one to transport to the third heaven. I can relate to Paul there. In other areas, I seriously don�t have his gifts.