Hi Samson
my personal experience is that the textbooks only give a very rough and idealised version of what is going on. Real life is much messier.

In my own life the sequence of the chakras that needed attending was completely disorganised. It started with the root/sex chakra but from there it went straight to the throat chakra which was my weakest point at the time (speaking up for myself, being confident), then it went to the heart chakra, which was the next urgent problem (finding a loving relationship) and so it went on and on. Each chakra I worked on between 5 and 8 years and sometimes I need to revisit them or deepen the intensity.

In my opinion it is very important to not try to control the kundalini - it is just as impossible as controlling your sexual nature (turning yourself into hetero when you are gay etc.) It is not only impossible but will bring a huge amount of unnecessary suffering.

Instead it is better to simply look to what is happening: do you feel bliss in all the chakras? Which one seems to be blocked and what topic does it represent? What can you do on an outer level to address this problem, which attitudes do you have to change?

In principle the challenge is to bring every chakra into the service of love. E.G. throat chakra into loving insiring speech, head chakra = loving beliefs and ultimately union with the divine.

It can also be good to work on all the topic simultaneously but to know where your personal block is and to give it somewhat priority.

In that way you personal development and your spiritual development merge and while you are solving your personal problems you are moving closer to God.

It's such a beautiful and easy path - I actually love talking about it. We simply need to stop to go against this natural order that is so lovingly laid our for us and be willing to address every issue that presents itself to us by penetrating it with pure love.

Have I actually answered your question? I just got carried away waxing about one of my favourite topics.

Tara KundaliniTherapist

quote:

How old were you around 2001, Christine (you don't have to answer that, of course, if it seems too intrusive). I ask because it seems the younger one is when the spiritual unconscious opens, the rougher the ride (implications here for what Stephen experienced at age 24, described in another thread).

Phil, in 2001 i was 51 years old when the k began to rise. This is when kundalini took on a whole new flavor on the physical level. I was blessed with seeing Jesus when I was 45 years old. However, and this is a question for the kundalini therapist , even though these were very distinct shifts regarding a deepening in the awakening process throughout my lifetime, in retrospect... i have absolute vivid memory of experiencing kundalini physical sensations as a child In the root chakra. I had early mystical experience while young that receded for a time when i began puberty. During those years i redirected the K energy quite unwittingly by acting out sexually when i began having intense sexual feelings. I would say that K and spiritual energy are linked somehow.

When i was a child at age 8 the next door older neighbor man died suddenly. I loved him very much and this was a rude shock for me as a youngster. I was devastated. Just prior to his death, i had begun to take an interest in spiritual things. I had a little child's Missal i was fond of reading. I was very moved by the pictures of our Lord's passion in this book and would sit for hours considering what He went through. I was also very interested in the Blessed Mother at that time. It was a family tradition that my parents would go to confession on Saturday nights. Back then in those days there would be long lines at the confessional, so i would spend a long time in front of the statues of Jesus and Mary in the church visiting with them while my parents stood in line to have their confession heard..

Shortly after the next door neighbor man passed away , the movie 'Song of Bernadette' came out. This flim was 'electrifying' for me .. i fell deeply in love with the Blessed Mother and began praying to her nightly in a darkened room for hours. Looking back, it was then i began to feel energy in my root chakra.. and began ecstatic experience. I began to see other dimensions, colors behind my eyes, 'put under' during my long hours of crying out to the Blessed Mother. I also saw things that were darker too, demons, purgatory , hell. i had no previous awareness of such things. they were not talked abut in my home.

I understand that in sharing these things it could be taken that I was mentally ill as a child. I functioned very normally as a kid in every other aspect of my life. . The only thing i ever remember as possibly being considered as abnormal in my childhood development is that at the height of these early mystical experiences my parents were told by my teachers i day dreamed a lot in school. However I still did well in school and got along OK with my peer group. It is true i wasn't much interested in things that other children were interested in.Instead I was a kid who went to the church a lot alone. Here i would do ' kid things' like tap dance and sing in front of the altar before God , eat and even sleep in the pews when i became tired. This was a place i felt familiar and i loved going there. Oddly my parents were not all that devout as Catholics at that time, nor did they think my behavior was all that odd. it was the 50's, people back then were not as interested in whether a kid was acting dysfunctional. I have often smiled at the thought what if i had grown up in this day and age... thank God i didn't I would have been hauled me off to the mental health clinic and i would have spent my childhood doing therapy!

I have often wondered if as humans we all have this energy inherently and some people come in more wired for a K experience and or mystical experience? Is it circumstances that are not entirely pleasant in the early life, that can trigger and break us open to awaken the kundalini? Obviously mine was triggered through a combination of grief and a deep desire for the things of God... i had no idea about energy or anything like that.

A couple years back i read a book about Padre Pio. As a youngster it showed him as a child also moved by the Holy Spirit. He too saw and experienced the things of God as a child.

More recently i read a book about the young seers of Kibeho who saw the Blessed Mother and the young boy, Segatashya of Kibeho who saw Jesus. i went thru similar things as they did that was shared in their experience right before they had mystical experience. ....... the falling on the floor.. extreme exhaustion right before an apparition (right before i saw Jesus i had to stop driving and pull over and sleep immediately i was so overwhelmed with fatigue i thought i might pass out at the wheel while driving.)

This kind of behavior seems to be the norm these seers experienced right before their early ( beginning) apparitions. I suspect highly this kundalini related.... not that i am placing myself in the same category as these seers, i am not.... BUT right before i did see our Lord that is what happened.....spontaneous, crushing, overwhelming fatigue came upon me as well as odd subjective interior experiences they also reported..... seeing thru direct experience, the world in a beauty that is beyond this world coupled with a sense of tremendous fear and disorientation right before one ' breaks through and sees across the veil..

I have always thought of it as God raising the vibration in the body , via K , so we 'can see' can experience Him in a new Light....... this also happens to me to this day when in deep prayer .. this sleep that comes on within seconds ...

Phil....as for your thoughts concerning K being rougher on people who are younger.. i would say , yes and no. I would say such early activation and dealing with the ramifications of it all is rougher if one not living actively in the Spirit of God. Straying from the things of God by becoming distracted by worldly things, or by becoming to mentally oriented can seriously take it toll on kundalini / mystical experience. Guidance from a spiritual director being most helpful, beneficial to ones spiritual ascent can potentiality take years off the wandering in the desert so to speak. I think i would have had an easier time of it all in the beginning if i had guidance in my youth.

My temperament is more intense and my self will, over all strong. These tendencies did not help in those early days. Good spiritual direction to help curb my self will and fears as to what was happening within me would have made those days possibly much easier. I would have still had the physical stuff going on, but understanding the process a bit would have been helpful. the question is.. would i have had the maturity back then to listen if i had been offered guidance?

Matthew ( my husband) became kundalini active at age 17 and he has not had much difficulty with K throughout the years as i did. His temperament is much different than mine. He is a very grounded calm practical person. He is also mystically inclined , also highly intellectual in a studious way. He tends to handle things more matter of factly. If his energy gets stuck, it tends to get stuck in his head as he thinks a lot. At times It is hard for him to work as a computer programmer as his work takes much concentration. When this happens he takes a couple of days off and rests. Over all he rolls with the k punches quite well.... he is 31 years old. We are both pretty quiet and introspective type people... going thru the K process together has been a great blessing. We support each other indirectly by focusing on our relationship with the Lord. I would say we spend more time doing this than actively talking about the K process with each other. we are both drawn to books on Eastern Orthodoxy and asceticism. We pray and work out our stuff this way. We just don't talk about it much.

I have heard that the kundalini process can complete.. but thus far it has not been my experience.. I see / experience the K process as 'grace', ultimately ending up in union with God.. This being relational, how could union with God ever be completed?

Phil you wrote " Eventually, when your mind was strengthened and your faith re-focused and the energy settled down a bit, a new balance was restored. Does that all make sense?"

It does make sense.. thank you for your insight. I have taken the past few days to reflect on how this has been true throughout my life. The whole K experience has been very much like a spiral , spiritually speaking. With each movement upward, a new level of insight unveils. This comes with a deepening in relationship with the love of my life, The Lord and the Blessed Mother. Their faithfulness and mercy toward me throughout and within this process since i was a young girl , despite my many ups and downs , has been the one staying factor throughout my entire life. Within all of this, Jesus and Blessed Mother have seen me thru and strengthened and continually renewed me.

It has not been until my later life when i began to comprehend and take Their purpose for my life seriously that K began to settle a bit. Not that all the unpleasantness is completely gone ( i have my days)... it is more like, by grace , the ability to accept with peace and even joy whatever comes. This has made the difference. It is all about love, the reason for existence in the physical.... nothing else really matters. In this knowing beyond words, there is bliss.. quietness, silence , a peace, no matter what is manifesting physically. It is almost like what is manifesting physically does not matter anymore on the personal level. The grace of this understanding is a supreme 'grace' as it is beyond mind stuff.

The grace of knowing one cannot know, will never know in 'full' while living here on earth IS peace. Simply live presently with what ever presents itself with the eyes of the heart continually in the remembrance of God brings the peace. . ..trusting the Lord's presence and doing as He has called me to do.. I see this as key to authentic peace and joy. This comes about by kundalni under the guidance of God's Holy Spirit. We ' can't ' do it...

it is my experience that Kundalini is Gods vehicle to draw us to Himself and to open our eyes , our hearts to the beauty that surrounds us in Him and all of His creation.

Christine, you seem to have been mystically inclined from a very young age. What beautiful sharing you have put up on the board lately -- a very good start on a spiritual autobiography, should you ever decide to write one.

You shared that your husband, Matthew, is 31 years old. Was that a typo? Just wondering. If so, that would make you considerably older than him, and might even explain some of the energy dynamics you experience at this time in your life.

You ask:

quote:

I have often wondered if as humans we all have this energy inherently and some people come in more wired for a K experience and or mystical experience? Is it circumstances that are not entirely pleasant in the early life, that can trigger and break us open to awaken the kundalini? Obviously mine was triggered through a combination of grief and a deep desire for the things of God... i had no idea about energy or anything like that.

I do think you're onto something. The young ego is naturally drawn to engage with the outer environment, but if that's not a safe place, then it often will go inward for refuge. That's not necessarily a bad thing, especially if it's in a spirit of prayer and spiritual seeking. If it's just about escape, however, then there can be serious pathologies that emerge. But in either case, there will be more activation of the unconscious, including its spiritual dimension, which is where I situate what we're calling kundalini here. If that goes on for years, then the active unconscious will "spill-over" into the psyche and the body. This is probably what most people call "awakening of kundalini."

quote:

I have heard that the kundalini process can complete.. but thus far it has not been my experience.. I see / experience the K process as 'grace', ultimately ending up in union with God.. This being relational, how could union with God ever be completed?

I'm in agreement with you and Tara here that the process goes on and on, effecting ever-deeper integration of organism, psyche and spirit. It does seem that there are "phases," of sorts, and I tried to say something about that in my book. It begins with pre-awakening rumblings, then there is an awakening period, cleansing periods with lifestyle adjustments, and eventually a re-integration, which just keeps going. The initial awakening and subsequent cleansing periods do come to an end, though cleansings will continue to happen when we "mess up" somehow.

As your testimony so powerfully illustrates, the focus needs to be relationship with God, and not "managing" kundalini. One can easily get too preoccupied with trying to control/manage things, and that never seems to do any good. "Let go and let-it-flow" would be a good kundalini slogan to go along with "Let go and let God."

quote:

It's such a beautiful and easy path - I actually love talking about it. We simply need to stop to go against this natural order that is so lovingly laid our for us and be willing to address every issue that presents itself to us by penetrating it with pure love.

Tara, that's such a hopeful and even optimistic statement. Reading the post by Mary Sue right below it, however . . . well, it's not always an easy path, for many. But I agree that the way forward, no matter how rough the ride, is to do just what you have suggested: "address every issue that presents itself to us by penetrating it with pure love." I really like the way you express that.

Hey Phil, not a typo. I am 31 years older than Matthew. i thought you knew. I know Pops knows, Katy and Stephen know.. As odd as it sounds we think nothing of it, and have never seen each other as an 'age' ( that is, after the initial shock of finding out the others age at first..) Oh at first it was a little wild as people thought he was my son.. but those days for the most part are over. I tend to look a bit younger than my age.. He looks a bit older than his soon to be 31 years.. he will be 31 yrs old May 5th.



Matthew and i met 'accidentally ' online. I was new to the computer in 1999 and went to go to a Catholic chat room on IRC and ended up in a computer hacker chat room where he happened to be visiting at the time. We did not know each others age. He private messaged me about something i said in the chat room and we struck up a conversation about God.

He was agnostic at the time and searching. I asked him if he knew Jesus.. He didn't. I asked him if he wanted to know Him and he said he was willing to know Him. . I invited him to trust Him and sincerely open his heart and pray to Him and He did . I knelt down and prayed for him right then and there. He prayed sitting in his computer chair. He was touched by the Spirit of God immediately and his kundalini was activated immediately. He said he experienced peace and an overwhelming vibration and intense heat enter him.. He was blown away... He read the entire bible the next month and fell in love with Jesus. We talked online many hours during those first few months.. Our focus was the Lord, it still is. When we found out how old the other was.. i think we were both in shock! He lived in Maryland, I lived north of Seattle at the time.. I went to a retreat in in Colorado that summer and he decided on a whim he would hop a bus and surprise me. I was not amused.

Long story short.. We met briefly and then i sent him home. We both knew we had strong feelings for one another but , to be honest i was pretty freaked out at the time as he was so much younger. how do i say? he was young and yet not young. You have read his posts.. it gives you and idea of who he is.. well, he hasn't changed all that much.. His basic nature is still the same... although obviously, he has matured over the years.

We made the decision while we were in Colorado to place our relationship in the hands of God and to have zero contact for a year while he finished school. We did just that. The day after he graduated he hopped a bus and came out to to get me on the west coast. we married 10 months later....and have been sincerely happily married ever since.. 12 wonderful years!

Considering the age difference we have many common interests and most importantly our basic understanding of the things that are important to us in life are the same. I would say our world view is the same . After the uproar within our families died down .... (perfectly understandable in the beginning) everyone has more than come to grips with us being married. No one thinks a thing of it now. My kids think highly of Matthew, my mother and father adore him and trust him explicitly. His family has come to accept me as well, coming out to Montana to visit us many times.


As far as 'energy dynamics'.. i think there is some real truth to this.. which has been very interesting for me, for him... well for both of us...

quote:

I don't believe there is an ending to this process. Even when your own issues have been addressed pretty much one may feel called to work on a level of the collective.

I think that's insightful, Mary Sue. I like the idea that our own development feeds into a collective energy, which in turn feeds back into our own energy in an endless loop, and that the energy of the whole is held by God and allowed to develop and grow into him in infinite cycles.


Christine,

Your story is so wonderful, and yet with so much mystical experience you remain incredibly humble and willing to learn and change.

It's interesting that intense feelings of grief and longing can trigger kundalini. Going back to what Derek said, I wonder if these are symptomatic of something deeper, like emotional microcosms or pockets of deeper need - perhaps a longing for God, or grief at the separation we feel from him because of our brokenness - and that the k being triggered is the beginning of a journey towards integration and union, a fulfilment of that longing in him.

This topic of yearning comes up with me a lot, not just as the original trigger, but in meditation. This morning for instance, images of women I know whom I may find attractive float into my consciousness, not as objects of lust, but as examples of a deeper longing, which then releases energy from the sex chakra and base, causing a raw emotional pain which I have to sit with and feel in the heart and hopefully in some way let go of. I wonder what that deeper longing might be, whether it speaks of divine longing or something from childhood or even that impulse of the unborn child to make it through the birth canal to light (which might just be a blueprint for awakening). I think too that the "twin flame" episode might have been a manifestation of that longing, and I'm wondering too if this type of imagery affecting energy release might relate to the practise of tantra in some way, a kind of personal, spontaneous tantra.

At any rate, the release of energy and subsequent experience of pain has a knock on effect for k in the head, as I feel it vibrating there and a channel connecting base and crown being pushed through around the neck. Lots of unblocking to do! Sheesh - it is a struggle! - requires an incredible amount of faith that things need to be just so. Love in this regard is such a consolation, if the mind can turn to it and rest. The sense, once the upheaval subsides a little, that God is love, that we are held and growing in love becomes the foundation and goal of any kundalini work. As such the whole process must be overseen by the Holy Spirit forming Christ in the space the energy has just created.

quote:

It's such a beautiful and easy path - I actually love talking about it.

Phil
I should have said simple path (I am not a native speaker). Certainly it is not always easy to 'solve the riddles of each chakra' but focussing on feeling love and bliss in the chakra will certainly be part of the answer. Once we can feel this higher vibration in this chakra then everything to do with chakra will change and improve.

When I say 'feeling bliss in the chakra' it really means to unite within that chakra with the divine. It is this deep surrender to your Higher Power that elevates you in this part of your life to a higher level.

For example, if you focus on bliss feelings in your forehead (or unite with Jesus in this part of your body) your thinking will effortlessly turn from negative into positive. You will think more spiritually 'correct' thoughts, your ideas about yourself and others will become more realistic and if you focus for long enough (I am thinking years of daily hours) you will become quite clairvoyant and psychic.

The same thing happens in every other chakra and will manifest over time first the psychological and spiritual 'feel-good' vibration, then your outer life will improve accordingly and the final icing on the cake are supernatural powers.

I am not talking from theory, I have been in this process for 28 years and can attest to the fact that it works in exactly this way. I also see the exact same dynamics in all of my clients.

(Obviously, they do not end up with supernatural powers, which is not the aim of my counselling. But through this work they can get rid of negative thinking and difficult emotions quite quickly.)

Christine
thank you for sharing your fascinating story. I have read it with great interest. At some point you asked me a question but I have not really understood the question. If it is still important could you repeat it for me?

Tara KundaliniTherapist

Thank you Tara Christine, and Phil. You and others on this forum give me hope.

thank you Clare... i think we all give hope to one another here.. i love this forum

Tara.. sorry for my ramblings.. at times i get on a roll ..
my questions are .. can kundalini awaken in a child who is 8 years old? then go in remission to some extent? i felt K as a child and had mystical experiences as a kid.. although these mystical experiences did not stop in adolescents they slowed way down when i began to channel sexual energy outwardly.. i think maybe it was redirected for a time thru strong sexual feelings...

quote:

Originally posted by KundaliniTherapist:

Phil
I should have said simple path (I am not a native speaker). Certainly it is not always easy to 'solve the riddles of each chakra' but focussing on feeling love and bliss in the chakra will certainly be part of the answer. Once we can feel this higher vibration in this chakra then everything to do with chakra will change and improve.

When I say 'feeling bliss in the chakra' it really means to unite within that chakra with the divine. It is this deep surrender to your Higher Power that elevates you in this part of your life to a higher level.

For example, if you focus on bliss feelings in your forehead (or unite with Jesus in this part of your body) your thinking will effortlessly turn from negative into positive. You will think more spiritually 'correct' thoughts, your ideas about yourself and others will become more realistic and if you focus for long enough (I am thinking years of daily hours) you will become quite clairvoyant and psychic.

The same thing happens in every other chakra and will manifest over time first the psychological and spiritual 'feel-good' vibration, then your outer life will improve accordingly and the final icing on the cake are supernatural powers.

Tara,

Thanks for this. This is what I've been doing for a little while now with very good results. I had been thinking, though, that the feeling of love actually stemmed from the heart center, and had theorized that focusing it on other centers was actually bringing them into sync with the heart. Is this inaccurate in your experience? There's several different feelings that can be generated and applied all in the spectrum of "feel good" and in the course of my practice I'm trying to differentiate between some of them.

There's kind of a broad "inner smile" that can radiate throughout the whole body or can be focused into a "beam" of positive attention toward an energy center, body part, other person, etc. And then there's a longing, a devotion, that typically needs to be more focused than the "inner smile" in order for it to exist. It's possible that it's this more intense devotion that I sense as coming from the heart, but I'm not sure.

What are your thoughts on this? And do you differentiate between different types of positive feelings and attention that you apply to chakras?

quote:

I should have said simple path (I am not a native speaker). Certainly it is not always easy to 'solve the riddles of each chakra' but focussing on feeling love and bliss in the chakra will certainly be part of the answer. Once we can feel this higher vibration in this chakra then everything to do with chakra will change and improve.

When I say 'feeling bliss in the chakra' it really means to unite within that chakra with the divine. It is this deep surrender to your Higher Power that elevates you in this part of your life to a higher level.

Tara, that all makes sense. What to do when the presenting issues and struggles don't seem associated with a chakra, however? I've had many contact me through the years, for example, who speak of painful pressure in their ears, or in one of their ribs (I have this, at times). The worst cases seem to be when the painful experiences are in the brain itself, sometimes accompanied by difficulties in thinking. Sometimes, too, it seems that the autonomic nervous system is out-of-sync with the central nervous system, and all sorts of other problems.

As you suggest, I think we can still gently hold ourselves open to God's love in that "place," and that can surely help. Often, it can take awhile for blocks and imbalances to resolve, especially if they re related to lifestyle issues.

Perhaps the most common advice I've given through the years is that people struggling with k-related issues should simply notice what makes things worse and quit doing that, and notice what makes it better and do more of that. The process itself does teach us through the almost instantaneous feedback we receive from it, and this implies some kind of goal or direction it is guiding us toward. That's the part so many have difficulty trusting, as it can seem at times like it's much ado about nothing.

Christine, somehow I had missed the part about the age difference between you and Matthew. Thanks for sharing about your coming to know each other and eventually marry. Good to hear that blessings can happen via Internet chat rooms, and hopefully discussion forums as well.

Hi Christine
I think we are all born with varying degree of kundalini. For me with my Buddhist background that is easily explained through the amount of spiritual practice people have done in their past lives. I don't know what the consensus is on this board about reincarnation and if there is some openness about it. Obviously, I do not want to bring in ideas that may offend people.

About childhood spirituality becoming latent: Obviously, you had a lot of kundalini going from an early age, which is quite wonderful. I think it is typical that this innocent childhood spirituality takes a bit of a back seat as our ability to reason grows. I think it happens to everyone who enters higher education. It's the rational mind which screams 'I can figure it all out by myself - I know it all - God is dead'

Then as we get older and more mature we realise that despite our 'oh so rational mind' we cannot figure it out all by ourselves and we become humble and may try to reassess our childhood spirituality.

In my opinion it is wonderful that we have to make this 'detour' of developing our reasoning abilities. Real mature spirituality will be able to withstand intellectual questioning and we will be more intelligent in our approach to spirituality - throwing out childish fears and attachments and keeping the awe, the love and real compassion combined with true wisdom.

Tara KundaliniTherapist

Hi Myfutureself

quote:

I had been thinking, though, that the feeling of love actually stemmed from the heart center, and had theorized that focusing it on other centers was actually bringing them into sync with the heart.

I agree with you - every genuine spiritual path must start with the heart and end with the heart, or start with love and end in love. We can only feel bliss in the higher chakras if our heart center is open.

This is why approaches that start with kundalini often bring up so much scandal and negativity. It starts with the power side (kundalini equals power) and usually ends with power abuse.

So, when we start with love and then integrate kundalini into that process we are using our powers for love, which of course we should.

quote:

And do you differentiate between different types of positive feelings and attention that you apply to chakras?

I do: I experience the head as bliss (or the divinity itself), the throat as joy, the heart as love, the solar plexus as peace, the navel as 'great joy', which means it encompasses the outside world, and the root as pleasure.

Obviously, words are subjective and someone else may chose slightly different words.

Tara KundaliniTherapist