quote:

Originally posted by <joe>:
[QB] i have been advised by a friend not to talk too much about this, or even reflect on these matters. so i will stop posting on this topic. thanks again phil and zoe for your generous sharing and advice.

peace,

j.

ill end on this note. found this yesterday.


VERSE OF THE HAN
(Incised on the han at Koko An)

Completely freed from yes and no;
great emptiness charged within;
no questions, no answers;
like a fish, like a fool.

Joe, is this friend a spiritual director? There's no problem talking or writing about Dark Night experiences as that can sometimes help one learn to become more acclimated to this new time in life. Hearing from others can also be validating. On the other hand, there is a danger that one might be indulging the topic to try to control it somehow, just as we might do with stage theories. This needs to be discerned. After awhile, however, one has nothing to say about it just as, eventually, young adults don't have much desire to discuss going through adolescence (crude analogy).

[/QUOTE]Joe, is this friend a spiritual director? There's no problem talking or writing about Dark Night experiences as that can sometimes help one learn to become more acclimated to this new time in life. Hearing from others can also be validating. On the other hand, there is a danger that one might be indulging the topic to try to control it somehow, just as we might do with stage theories. This needs to be discerned. After awhile, however, one has nothing to say about it just as, eventually, young adults don't have much desire to discuss going through adolescence (crude analogy). [/QB][/QUOTE]

Hi Phil,

Ys, the friend is a mentor. Thanks for your advice on this.

At times talking about it with likeminded others can help, for sure. I think the mentor whom Im working with was more concerned that I would start talking to people who dont necessarily understand/believe in dark night experiences. I found that advice useful. From experience, I realized that it just confuses people who dont believe in God. Besides, people dont necessarily even notice when one is going through a transition like this. That's probably a good thing, too.

j.

Dear Zoe,

I hope you come back to this thread one day. I have started this topic some time ago. Your correspondance with Joe was of utmost importance.
I am going through a dark night since 1996 after a divorce in 1994. But now I am wondering whether I can speak of a DN! In 1996, my father attacked me verbally by saying: 'You will never have anything or be anyone'. Now I am 50 years old and suffering from a heavy burden on my chest, lots of emotional and physical pain and chronic hyperventilation. I really don't know what is happening, after all regular and alternative therapies, that didn't bring relief. I keep on having questions regarding the relation of DN and healing. So many Christians follow one therapy or another and it helps them on their spiritual path. I am very sceptical about certain therapies (Jungian, Transpersonal, Past Reality Integration), but at the same time I read good things about it. I don't really know whether some therapy (maybe body therapy, such as cranio-sacral, eutony, ...?) might help me further in relaxing. The problem is I am very anxious, scrupulous and perfectionistic. At the same time, certain things I experience such as dryness, lack of memory and concentration, hanging between 2 worlds, ...(in John of the Cross a.o.) seem to indicate that I am going through a DN. It is all so painful. The monks I know advice me to accept what is happening, but they don't seem to be familiar with psychological and psychotherapeutic insights... Some reply?

PAX,
Fred

Hi Freddy,

What a destructive thing for your father to say.
Perhaps you may find it uplifting to bear in mind the following, which I once wrote about composer Edvard Grieg:

At the age of 24, Edvard married his cousin, Nina Hgaerup. Nina�s mother, who was opposed to the marriage, protested that "He is nothing and has nothing, and he writes music which no one wants to hear". Like many other mothers-in-law, she is now forgotten.

It is a crippling thing to allow others to define our possibilities! That is for our inner spirit and God alone to do -- and no one can usurp that power unless we at some level actually consent to forfeiting it.

Let the echo of your father�s words die out.

Echoing HPs comments, Fred. Your enthusiam for art and literature and music, and your talents as a painter (as well as your commitment to spirituality) reveal an interesting, well rounded individual with much to offer. Keep offering it here!!

quote:

Originally posted by Freddy:
[qb] lack of memory and concentration [/qb]

Freddy, I don't know you personally, but lack of memory and concentration are symptoms of depression. As you say, monks may not be the best people to diagnose and treat such a condition.

Dear HP, Stephen, Derek,
Thanks for the uplifting words. Yesterday I looked at an interview with the famous canadian priest/psychologist Jean Monbourquette, an 'expert' on 'forgiving'http://www.amazon.com/How-Forgive-Step-Step-Guide/dp/0867164271 or http://www.alibris.com/booksea...=works*listing*title. I read a book on the shadow by him before http://www.amazon.fr/Apprivois...dition/dp/2227439041 and it was strange that in this book he never mentioned Christ or the cross. But after the interview, I have to say he is a quite clever and wise man, adopting the Jungian psychology in his work. I feel I am (through the influence of Jehovah's Witness?) sometimes overly critical and afraid of non-Christian aspects. JM says about the 'Our Father'-prayer, the translation is wrong and indeed, it is in the original not 'Father, forgive us... as we forgive...' but rather 'Father, forgive us... so that we can ...': a major point!God's love is always first and we cannot forgive by willpower but from healing and a mystical experience of God's Love for each one of us! So on Saturday I have an appointment with a blind, holy priest I know just recently and I'll go through my life, praying over it with him. Please pray for me that day!!! In July I am going on pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella with a young friend and in August to the youth festival in Medjugorje.
Derek, as to the 'depression', I have taken medication for years and now I try to stop it slowly. It might be helpful for awhile but is no solution.I try to walk a lot along the coastside or in the forest. I have loved: http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Won...veness/dp/081462992X A MUST READ!

Greetings in Christ,
Fred

Dear ones,

Did anyone look at the new thread on 'faith and imagination'?

Fred

Dear,

An excellent book on healing is:
http://www.amazon.com/Journey-...enture/dp/0800792513
Does anyone know it?

Fred