The Kundalini Process: A Christian Understanding
Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality
- by Philip St. Romain
Paperback and digital editions
Thanks for sharing, Mary Ann. I'm also very curious about the "blasted by light" thing you mention. A lot of people seem to mention "light" in their experiences, as if there is a visual or otherwise ethereal component to the experience that is marked by some sort of bright light. I don't get this at all...nothing visual. Everything is happening internally. Just curious if you were actually having some sort of visual encounter. Thanks again!
I often use "light" and "energy" interchangeably. However, yes, there is a visual aspect to the light.
When I was little and I prayed (with eyes shut), internally I would see/experience gold light coming to me from above. Also, I remember one time praying with the creation story in Genesis, and somehow I journeyed back to the dawn of creation and saw (in my mind's eye) creatures emerge from a great golden ball--like a spiritual sun. [In Arizona many years later, I read a Native American prayer/song in a museum where they also spoke of this golden sun in connection with creation. It is probably common around the world.]
OK, so I was really into gold and at that point it was all seen internally. But when I awakened kundalini, with my physical eyes I briefly saw a silver ball of light about the size of a volleyball just before it entered my feet. [By the way, many years later, at a museum in London or Greenwich, there was some reference on a display card that I believe Admiral Nelson spoke something about experiencing a silver ball of light. In this way, it makes sense to me that Phil differentiates kundalini (as natural) vs. the Holy Spirit. It is an awakening of lifeforce that doesn't necessarily have to do with love of God--not that I know anything about the Admiral's spiritual life.]
When I say "seven years blasted by light" I am equating energy with light. I think I met all of those blasts with eyes closed, so maybe that energy had color but I was busy focusing in the heart to endure whatever was dished out. The blasting never hurt me and I always felt it coming a few seconds before it hit. It almost always was a full-body foot to head sweep, sometimes being the innermost thread-like channel inside the spine, to sandblasting from the physical body to several feet off of it.
Before long, perceptual changes began to happen. It started with something that looked like steam coming out of peoples' heads--a wavering of energy above their heads. I remember one concert in particular about a year into the kundalini. I was sitting with a drawing pad drawing members of the orchestra and I was surprised by the strange phenomenon. Not long after, this developed into sometimes seeing bits of color around peoples' heads.
One time stands out in particular. I was talking to a woman about my parents' age in a museum (OK, I've logged a lot of museum hours), I had never met her before, and she started telling me about how her daughter was dating an African American and that she wasn't upset about it. In the air to the left side of her head was a grey blob of energy. Gradually as she told me more about her daughter and her boyfriend, the energy blob flushed a beautiful green color. I felt happy for her because talking/being heard helped her resolve an emotional conflict--or that was my interpretation of the visual special effect. When energy flushes green, people are always happy about it (it's the color of spring grass).
People who have prayed a lot often have a radiance to their skin--like more light for about two inches off the skin than the average person. You can't always tell, but with some people they have a luminous look. A long time ago I went to El Santuario de Chimayo in New Mexico with a friend. As we were entering the grounds, a Mexican-American looking woman in traditional modest garb including a black mantilla was exiting. She was all lit up with tremendous silver light that went out about a foot from her body. I laughed and waved at her, happy to see such a devout, prayerful person. She looked a little confused and probably just thought I was being weird. But some people have silver lustre to their skin, some have gold. A small number of people have gold halos (but even then, I think they are capable of human foibles.)
I only see little glimpses of things. A couple people have offered methods to really open up the seeing, but I've been reluctant because I don't like getting into peoples' business and then there's the whole problem of projection and other ethical aspects. During the kundalini/blasting time I was so overwhelmed that I didn't want to awaken anything extra, I just wanted to learn how to be with what was. And after that, I lived a semi-monastic life (lived that way but no vows) and didn't encourage any special effects. I offered them back to God.
A long time ago, a few times I saw a couple lines of light on a person's body. They might have been meridians as in Traditional Chinese Med. I wouldn't mind being able to see them now. Or like walking a deer trail and catching glimpses of a thread of light left hovering above the trail. Certain activities leave trails of light for some time--as we say, we catch the thread.
Many experiences come and go, but something that has remained constant for at least twenty years is that everything faintly shines with white/silver light and has a vibratory quality to its aura like the breath of life, whether a rock, an ant, or a person. During a period when I did a lot of spiritual practice the light that shone forth from all things was as brilliant as moonlight reflected on water. I still occasionally see bits of color on a person's body and around the head. If a person has a strong thought, they sometimes shoot off a silver spark of light or a blue spark/flash.
Sorry this is so long. I rarely talk about this kind of thing. Maybe it will help someone. Way back in high school, I remember talking to a girl who said she could see things. She was studying with a woman and the woman told her that if she ever saw a person with black (in his/her aura) she should run away from them. The thought of black to her was chilling--she was emotional about it (whereas a person who sees should develop dispassion). In general, I think it is good advise, but the black in their aura can be caused by various factors.
For example, I used to know a fellow as a friend and we would chat about once a week. One day I noticed a black blob in his aura (I didn't see the rest of his aura, just the blob). It was there for several weeks. After his brother died, it vanished. Other causes of the black might be mental illness, extreme pain, anger, and lust (NOT healthy sexual desire but the kind where it is about dominance and violence). Or as in the example above, an impending death, not necessarily their own. There are probably many more reasons, but those are the ones I have observed.
Hope that helps.
Wow Mary Ann, loved your testimony, very helpful. I feel light, I don’t see it. Before I became Catholic I asked Jesus if I could receive Eucharist. There were ushers at this mass at a seminary. I told Jesus that if one of the ushers came to me I’d consider it his way of telling me I could receive. An usher did come to me so (against Church rules ) I received. That night I felt a beautiful life giving light in my chest for several hours. After that experience I decided to do what I needed to do to be officially alowed to receive by Church rules. I attended an RCIA class.
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