The Kundalini Process: A Christian Understanding
Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality
- by Philip St. Romain
Paperback and digital editions
Hello, Christine, and thank you for extending your sentiments with kind and warm regard. While I do not feel completely recovered from the effects of my experience, I am feeling much more peace.
Hi Kristi---I remember reading your posts on this thread some time ago, and I had been wondering how you were. I'm very glad to see you back here.
While I never went far at all into any spiritual practices besides Christianity, I've gotten lost several times nevertheless. I hope this doesn't sound too goofy, but today while I was driving I heard a song called, I think, "You are More" that has been meaningful to me, and I thought of you. I'm going to go look for a youtube version of it to post here.
Well said and true, Christine.
Kristi---Here is the song "You Are More" that I was looking for: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgi-G-dHYkY
--maybe not relevant to you, but in reading your posts from 2002, I was reminded how much God gave us early in our lives as Christians; yet we still wandered deeper and deeper, bit by bit, into other entanglements...and it is a long process to know they no longer own us: "You are more than the sum of your past mistakes...This is not about what you've done, it's what's been done for you." (by Christ)
Reading your posts and listening to the song, "You Are More," have brought yet more tears to my eyes, that continue this moment. Thank you each. The song is beautiful, Ariel. I can hardly pray, Christine, without crying. I am grateful. Coming back here to share, I was concerned, had a thought/feeling, "Look what I've done, look what's become of me," hard for me to see. The opening to share here again...it is like a confession of my errors, wherein I am met/greeted with love and open arms. Yes, Christine, I will continue to give it all to Jesus, as Shasha wrote in the other thread, to have only one Lord, Jesus Christ.
Again, thank you each.
Ariel, you wrote:
And it is true, I believe I was significantly graced by God in my early life. And my dreams and reflections of late have also been showing me this, taking me back to those early days. This is in large part why I say I feel that I am coming home to Jesus. He was my hope and mainstay then, and will be/is now, again.
Thank you, Christine. There will not any longer be any other, but Jesus Christ ... and welcome to hubby who has come out of the closet.
I just went and purchased the album (via iTunes) from which comes the song Ariel posted!
Welcome back, Kristi. Good to read the recent interactions on this discussion. I think telling the story does indeed help one to better understand what's happened and come to an inner distance from it.
Check out some of the earlier posts by Shasha, who describes experiences similar to what you've been through. A powerful lesson coming through is that "all that glitters is not gold." There are some very appealing and seductive teachers and movements out there.
Thank you, Phil. It is indeed good to be back. I did spend my entire overnight workshift (when not actively engaged in "work")thoughtfully reading Shasha's thread, From Seeker to Saved. I've not yet read her testimony/story, but intend to print it for this evening's reading.
I believe I've quite a bit to share once my expression feels free.
Today's dreams feel to have helped with this. I was reading a news bulletin announcing being the bride of Christ. And, later, was eliminating incredible ("huge") amounts of defecation, which was a very "conscious and purposeful" act (as if clearly communicating a cleansing/releasing) Then, a plumber cleaned all the lines of my home So, me thinks things are coming free'r. I woke with feelings of such clarity. He (Christ) surely answers the prayers of our Heart!
So true, all that glitters is not gold. And there are so many forms of seduction out there.
There will be only one oarsman/helmsman in my life, now...Christ.
As I moved 'round my apartment moments ago, I thought back to these words of yours - and my dream image of the spilling forth out of my heart center. And, well, I sure couldn't help but wonder if what I saw in my dream state was actually a cleansing of some "glitter-i-ness" from my heart chakra. Many gurus control by the heart chakra, especially the bhakti types (and I "know" Ammachi and the entities connected with her cord in at the heart chakra). This alone can greatly fool a person, because one can be apt to think that if it comes from the heart center and "feels good" in the heart center, it must be okay...which I now know is not at all true.
This is important to note, Kristi, as many people are convinced that Reiki is completely innocent. And it may be at some superficial levels. However, I always warn people to stay away from any energy manipulations/healings as you never can be sure about the unseen supernatural forces called upon by the practioners. Also, hasn't the Catholic Church put out an official statement about Reiki?
One of the folks who has been in and out of discussion here, Stephen, has reported painful attacks following some kind of energy healing. I wonder if we can invite Stephen into our discussion here? Phil, are you in touch with him?
It is impossible to describe the ecstasy, bliss, "love" that I experienced during some of my energetic mergers with gurus. Nobody could ever, ever give up or pull away from such ecstasy! None of us is capable of saying 'no' to such a thing! And there are so many varieties of supernatural ecstasy--including erotic. Countless..endless... sublime! It's only by God's saving Grace that we are capable of turning away from such seductions. We must submit our wills entirely to Him and give Him permission to close the doors of all connections we've made with everything that is not of Him.
Even so, I've found there is wounding that remains, at least in my case. But I've come to deeply accept my past, all my mistakes, and know of God's redeeming love for me. And it helps me to deeply forgive myself as more and more layers of wounding have been revealed. As my personal sins and brokenness are tied up with my spiritual journey and choices, healing is an ongoing process intertwined with growing in holiness.
BTW, do you know Miora Noonan, who was the leader of some New Agey church? Not sure of the spelling of her name. She wrote "Ransomed From Darkness." She was heavily into New Age stuff and came back to her Catholic Faith. She went through something like 2-day confession renouncing every single bit of non- or anti-Christian involvement.
I would be interested to learn/read of any statement the church may have put out about reiki.
I have always been a very energy sensitive person, since childhood. Learning to understand this capacity and discern what is mine/what is not mine has been difficult. Learning the discernment continues.
My experience with energy workers is that when one opens themselves to working with them, literally allowing them access to one's body, one opens one's self to whatever energy that person is transmitting, including their own stuff. Including stuff they themselves are unconscious of.
As the filter or vessel that any said reiki/energy is transmitted through, it is, imo, impossible not to be affected by "their stuff" as well. I believe they both, (sometimes) consciously, and unconsciously, project their own stuff onto their clients. These things become intojected in the client.
A good question to ask one's self is, "Would I have sex with this person?" Because in my way of seeing it, what happens is a very similar process of energy exchange/merger.
I further believe that so many "energy workers" become so taken by/"identified" with their role as "healer" that they themselves lose the ability to discern the essence of what it is they are channeling, for the sense of "energy" they transmit gives them a sense of purpose - and power... I think many are they (reiki practicioners) who do not see this side of their vocation. Many are they that fall into a position of righteousness in their work. I think it is especially dangerous to solicit the services of any energy worker whose prime source (and often only source) of income is their said "healing" service, for when their very livelihood depends on their healing services they are more apt to be indiscrimate.
I remember early on, after my kunalini awakening 10 years ago, entertaining thoughts that, "I want to be a healer." A quiet voice told me, very considerately, "No, Kristi, you need to heal yourself." What I did not get then is that I also probably should not have submitted my healing into the hands of another person."
I ended up working nearly three years with one woman (the one I mentioned was also into Goddess worship, though I was unaware of it at the time). She created profound dependency in me. Healing was her only vocation. Again and again I went back to her, when I was not really healing. It all "felt good." It "seemed" soothing. A day came when I made it known that I was not healing, that I was still experiencing trouble with so and so. She said to me, "Kristi, 'I' healed that." THAT, finally, began to wake me up.
A couple of months down the road, she made it known to me that she was devotional to the one known as Mother Meera and suggested that I look her up because she was soon coming on tour and that maybe I should go see her. I googled the internet for Meera and I had not looked at her image for one minute when the room in which I sat and my entire body literally became filled with electrical white light that pushed me, hands and knees, to the floor. Soooo, whose/what energy had the healer been filling me with?
I ended my connection with this woman (healer) at that time. She was very angry with me. In the ensuing days, I experienced significant fear and began experiencing entity activity. I lay in my bed one evening and literally saw first an image of the healer followed by an image of Meera, and a "demanding" voice that said to me, "You are supposed to love your mother!" Notwithstanding that part of what was being fed on was guilt associated with my own personal, maternal relationship, this was NOT a good voice. And if any have read Meera's books, or even some of what she is quoted for saying on some online sites, one knows that she comes from a position of "all powerfulness," not unlike so many "gurus" out there. She claims herself to be in the possession of the power of God. Andrew Harvey has written of his account with her and the demonic influences he experienced when he ended his devotional practice with her.
I went through quite a time, feeling sick in my gut. I ended up dreaming of being in a hospital bed with a male attendant at my side as I bolted to the foot of the bed and, leaning over, puked a humanly unimaginable amount of vomit. I think he (the dream) was showing me what sickness lay in THAT healing association.
Beings in the astral realm are attracted to healers because they welcome/open themselves to the astral realm. In a very real sense they (the energy worker) shine a light that is a calling card for various energies from the ethereal realms.
My own kundalini awakening (unsolicited by me) came on very powerfully, such that a day came when I felt like I had lava (not hot, but with a similarly feeling force of eruption) rushing through my crown and pushing out from my heart center. I went through a significantly difficult period of energetic vicissitudes. Another helped me to understand that when the kundalini is awakened one becomes as a floodlamp in the ethereal realms...attracting all manner of "stuff." It is my belief that the same dynamic is present in energy work situations...and that they unscrupuously welcome that which they cannot see/discern.
I am out of time for now. I will share more later. But the short end of this story is that Kristi will never visit a healer again, save Christ Himself.
Thanks for sharing so much of your story with us, Kristi. Such personal testimonies are quite powerful and convey the dangers that can come with esoteric traditions not rooted in Christ.
Here's a link to the Catholic bishops' document on reiki. It was quite controversial when it first came out, but I'm not sure what difference it has made. There were lots of sites denouncing it as just another proof that the Catholic Church was close-minded.
Me too, Kristi, I've been energy sensitive all my life. I totally agree with everything you've shared here.
And we can see how the most lonely and broken people are the most vulnerable to energy healers. Letting somebody touch your body is so alluring when you're needy and hurting. Touching is the first and most primitive expression of love.
Yes, I join Phil in thanking you for taking the time to share more of your experiences. I hope and pray that you get the deep peace and healing you need.
Phil-- Thanks for sharing that paper. Good thing to include on this thread.
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