It sounds like you've been through a really tough time -- shades of St. Anthony of the Desert, who would be a good touchpoint for you .

Phil, I read the experience of St. Anthony and his assault with Satan. It reminds me the experience of Padre Pio's struggle with Satan. In both cases Satan attacked them directly. I mean Satan injured their physical body and created pain. How this happened I don't know. But there are some elements which I can relate with. In my case Satan appeared in non physical form. Sometimes it looks like light being and sometimes he moves like evaporeting air. In any case it was visible and when Satan attacks sometimes it affect directly the physical body. But most of the time Satan attack first the astral body and later on the attack appeared on my physical body.

Grace, I spent some time reading your experiences, some so joyful and the others so agonizingly painful. I have tremendous compassion for you. I will respond more at another time, but for now I pray that you claim the following: "He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world". Claim Christ in this truth. Blessings.

I have tremendous compassion for you.

Thanks Freebird. In the midst of the attack when I began claim strongly "Christ is with me, I don't need to feer" the enemy retreated back. This is amazing Grace at work. You know to say these words in the midst of the attack is like making a big jump. Surrender, surrender, surrender, that is what Christ needs from us. When we surrender he can easily burn our sin without the interference of ego.

Grace, I spent some time reading your experiences, some so joyful and the others so agonizingly painful.

Yes, spiritual journey as you know is full of joyful and painful moments. The integration of Christ body ino one's human experience takes time, dedication and a continual surrendering of oneself for the sake of Love. Such deep transformation is painful.

Praise God, so happy to know that you are doing better,that's great Grace.
I would like to know how you are experiencing the sun during your awakening?. Also do you spend most of your time indoors or outside?.

I find the sun's warming light a comfort and receive a tremendous energy increase throughout my whole body. The sun's rays seem to flow all through me. I usually lay down on a grassy area and experience the cool earth beneath me balancing the sun's warmth. Try it yourself, it might help in regulatingg your energies as well. On your good days try walking outdoors and breathing fresh outside air. Drink much water at all times, and as far as food, the body will tell you what it needs and when. If possible, stay away from crowds and be only with supporting friends and/or family.

Christ loves you Grace and you are never alone. Claim this truth. Right now I shall pray to God to form a shield of protection around you and give you much peace. Blessings

I would like to know how you are experiencing the sun during your awakening?. Also do you spend most of your time indoors or outside?.

During the awakening of kundalini I was attracted to sun, stars and especially moon. The ray of light reflected from the moon had some kind of magnetic effect on me. It felt like benevolent energy is streaming within me. I don't exert too much my body. The only exercise I do is walking. I avoid crowded places. At the initial period I didn't know why I was disturbed be being in crowded places. Later on I understand it has to do with the denser/negative energy of people. Regarding my diet I eat intutively. I mean I don't have any regulation to follow. Since the awakening of my kundalini I can only eat vegetarian food. The denser food I eat is fish. I'm totally away from alcohol and tobacco.

Freebird, as you read in my previous post the attack was intensive during April and May. Since June I didn't feel direct attack. I'm in a much better situation. It seems the energy of Christ is on the way to stabilize the two extreme polarities.

Grace I sent an Ancient Delivery Prayer to Stephen given to me by an old Catholic Priest who was also an exorcist. Get a copy for yourself and use it next time should you ever be faced with evil forces again. I find it works almost immediately and had others tell me the same. Stephen's thread is under Kundalini called a "bit of therapy". Good luck to you.

As previously stated I had experienced the temptations of Satan. I see it as part of purification process. Now it has gone three months since the first attack in April. During this time I have experienced many up and downs. Beginning from June the energy seems to be stabilized. As a result of it I feel very peaceful. I sense the presence of Christ and Holy Spirit tangibly as I did before but this time it is deeper.. This experience proves me once again through faith and Love in Christ every temptation is doomed to fail.

Thanks to all of you who supported me through your words.

Grace, what a brave and loyal soldier you are in the army of the Lord.

I am certain that many on this forum together with myself have prayed for you as well, given you our words of encouragement and support during your ups and downs in your ongoing kundalini awakening.

I see the love of Jesus, Maria, and the Holy Spirit working in and through you with great blessings. The feminine energy in you is most tender.

Let me recommend a CD by Andrea Boccelli "Sacred Arias". His rendition of "Ave Maria" is a breath and kiss from her.

We love you Grace and thank God for your presence on this forum sharing your experiences and deep insights so beautifully.

Yes, Grace, our Lord is Christ the Victor.

Freebird, thanks for those encouraging words. You are the shining light of Christ.

Dear Grace, I recognized the Light of Christ within your soul and the Light of Christ within mine reflected the goodness it saw in you, back to you.

Christ is the Light of the world, and it is His Light that shines forth in all of humanity.

Thank you Father God for the blessings of the Holy Spirit's presence in this discussion forum. Fill us in abundance with your beloved Son's Light so that we may glorify and praise your Holy Name. Open the fountain of Light so that we may better love our neighbors as ourselves and serve you in bringing others to Christ, I ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Love and blessings to Grace.

Dear Grace, I recognized the Light of Christ within your soul and the Light of Christ within mine reflected the goodness it saw in you, back to you.

Freebird, during my spiritual journey I observed one peculiar thing. Direct after the awakening of kundalini Christ encounterd me in a tangible way and filled me with his spirit and love. Then I suddenly began to discern people's spirit. If I encounter somebody (he/she can be stranger for me) who embody the energy of Christ I feel belongness and oneness. This feel of belongness is strong with you. No question that you embody the spirit/energy of Christ.

quote:

Originally posted by Grace:
[qb] I would like to know how you are experiencing the sun during your awakening?. Also do you spend most of your time indoors or outside?.

During the awakening of kundalini I was attracted to sun, stars and especially moon. The ray of light reflected from the moon had some kind of magnetic effect on me. It felt like benevolent energy is streaming within me. I don't exert too much my body. The only exercise I do is walking. I avoid crowded places. At the initial period I didn't know why I was disturbed be being in crowded places. Later on I understand it has to do with the denser/negative energy of people. Regarding my diet I eat intutively. I mean I don't have any regulation to follow. Since the awakening of my kundalini I can only eat vegetarian food. The denser food I eat is fish. I'm totally away from alcohol and tobacco. [/qb]

Hi Grace,

I love the things you have to say. Would you tell me exactly what you mean by "denser/negative energy of people"? (I have my own "theory" on dense vs. light energy.

Many times after I have been in a mall, or supermarket, etc. I feel extremely fatigued for no apparent reason. I make it a point to not over do it physically.

This past week, however, I was with only a couple of people and altho they are nice, church going people, they were gossiping and being negative much of the time. I was getting so nervous and antsy I had to leave the room several times, not knowing why. I wonder if it was because of their "denser" energy?

Speaking of energy, I eat according to how the energy of the food feels to me.. sort of intuitively too. :-) Oh, and I feel so much better outside in nature... feels even better than some churches.. the energy. When my energy is really good, I have no desire for "junk foods" whatsoever.. I even feel repulsed by them.

Thanks,
Katy

Would you tell me exactly what you mean by "denser/negative energy of people"? (I have my own "theory" on dense vs. light energy.

Katy, direct after my kundalini awakened I began to feel people's subtle energy. Feeling of uncomfortableness was very common if I mingled in a crowded places. I knew from the beggining it has to do with the subtle energy of the people but I didn't know why. Through the guidance of the Holy Spirit I became to know what I was disturbed for. As you may know every humanbeing for that matter everything is composed of energy. The human subtle energy carries all the action and thought we have. It then manifested through our action. The more we are spiritually oriented (I would say Christ-oriented) the more we become purified from our own denser energy. By what I mean denser energy is all the low impulses we have inside us reflected as denser energy in our subtle body. The one who is on the process of purification can easily be disturbed by these denser energies. If we are the carriers of denser energies we can't feel other person's denser energy. On the other hand if the Christ energy is starting to flow within us (meaning when we are in the process of purification), it is easy to be disturbed by denser energies.

During the initial period I was very disturbed by these energies to the degree that I quit my job for a while. As you noted I have also felt extremely fatigued sometimes become sick. It took several hours to clear the denser energies. According to my experience when I allow Christ grow within me (with all what it means) it become easier to manage people's denser energies. It is like an infant baby. When the baby is newly born he/she is extremly vulnerable. After the baby gets enough milk and other necessary conditions the baby become stronger and he/she can no longer be vulnerable. In short real inner strength comes only from Christ.

In a lesser degree I still feel these denser energies but it is managable. At the stage when we fully integrate the Christ body within us nothing will disturb us. The way to this level can be very long and painful. The good news is Christ is always with us no matter where our level is.

This past week, however, I was with only a couple of people and altho they are nice, church going people, they were gossiping and being negative much of the time. I was getting so nervous and antsy I had to leave the room several times, not knowing why. I wonder if it was because of their "denser" energy?

Katy, that you are disturbed by people's denser energy indictaes for me you are embodying the light of Christ. Denser energy exists indiscriminately. You can be disturbed by denser energies of Church going people. It happened many times for me. Embodying the Christ energy has nothing to do with ones involvement in the organised religion. It doesn't matter whether we are church going people or not. The only thing counts is our genuine inner spiritual growth. It is purely a personal matter. Having said that I don't underestimate the support we get from the Church.

My day to day praise to God is:

God, despite my sinful nature, you allowed me to mention your holy name. I thank you for this precious gift!

When I posted my experience with Satan above, I wrote what lesson can be drawn from it. In this post I would like to add one point.

The first lesson to be learned is about the existence of Satan. During the Middle Ages belief in the evil one and his influence on mankind was unquestioned. But, as scientific advancement during the Renaisissance dispelled myths and superstitions related to demons, the notion of the devil as a literal being fell into disfavor. Subsequent scientific advancement and increased education encouraged skepticism regrading the existence of a sprit world, good or evil. Today many ridicule the idea of an evil being who is responcible for the misery and suffering we see around us.

The truth is as I witnessed in my experience Satan exist as an independent entity. This observation is supported by Scripture. Bible tells us in sobering terms that the devil does exist. It explains that this being and the spirit world are every bit as real as our own. The apostle Peter, who experienced his own struggles with Satan warns us to be on guard against this powerful wicked spirit: "Be self-controlled and alert, your enemy the devil prawls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). Peter's warning helps us realize that not only is the devil the enemy of Christ, he is the enemy of all Christ's followers, seeking to devour them.

One thing I learned in this experience is when Satan attacks he exploited fully the little hole he found in us. Once he enters he veiled us totally to the degree he minimize our ability to judge rationally. To avoid his decieve method and attack we have to stand on Christ. The attack can be terrrified and beyond comprhension. When the attack is going on Satan wants us to engage in that confrontation. Through confrontation Satan trapped us in his play ground, but through absolute faith on Christ we can truly win the battle. That is how our faith is tested.

Important to remember is not to be engaged in confrontation no matter how the attack is severe. We have to rely on Christ.

Those are all good points, Grace, and I think it's helpful for all to realize that there is indeed a kingdom in rebellion against God with entities determined to lead us astray. Simple trust in Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit is the way to freedom and victory over these "powers and principalities."

quote:

Originally posted by Grace:
[qb] The truth is as I witnessed in my experience Satan exist as an independent entity. This observation is supported by Scripture. Bible tells us in sobering terms that the devil does exist. It explains that this being and the spirit world are every bit as real as our own. The apostle Peter, who experienced his own struggles with Satan warns us to be on guard against this powerful wicked spirit: "Be self-controlled and alert, your enemy the devil prawls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8). Peter's warning helps us realize that not only is the devil the enemy of Christ, he is the enemy of all Christ's followers, seeking to devour them.

[/i] [/qb]

Hi Grace,
Thanks for sharing your experience and your understanding of Satan as an independent entity. This has been a subject of interest of mine over the past few weeks. I recently had a dream of a demon and woke up and that demon was in my room; it was the first time that I truly felt the experience was independent of myself. At that moment, I heard my father screaming in another room and I got up and woke him and asked if everything was ok. He had had a similar dream. I recently learned from my mother that he has been having these dreams since they were married and I finally understood that my poetry thesis was correct in regards to my father. I now believe that he suffers from post tramatic syndrome from events which occured in 1947. This has translated into him being suceptible to these forces and my inheritance of them on some level. When my father awoke, his body was writhing and strangely, my mother says that he hasn't had those dreams since that night a couple of weeks ago. When I saw that demon in my room and heard my father screaming, I understood that these forces can be in two places at once.

I suppose this is still a hypothesis, but since saw this as completely apart from myself, as a manifestation of pure evil, I tend to think that these demons can exist outside of self.

Thanks.

Asher

I really support a point that Grace said so would like to add my little bit to this as well:

quote:

To avoid his decieve method and attack we have to stand on Christ. The attack can be terrrified and beyond comprhension. When the attack is going on Satan wants us to engage in that confrontation. Through confrontation Satan trapped us in his play ground, but through absolute faith on Christ we can truly win the battle. That is how our faith is tested.

My heart tells me that the only way to overcome evil is to fill ourselves full with Christ. We must pray, contemplate, meditate anything necessary to ensure that we think, feel, breath and taste the risen, glorified Christ in every part of our being.

It is only by allowing the light and glory of Christ to fill every part of us that evil is destroyed.

Christ Is the light of the World!
Light Destroys Darkness!
So let the light shine!

And so wonderfully when we do this it not only shines on us but those we come into contact with and love as well.

In Love

Paul

Thanks Phil, Asher and Paul. Many people tends to ignore the existence of Satan or Devil as an independent entity. Why? Satan works in a sophisticated way to decieve and veil us. One of the symptom of Satans veiling is the denial of his existence. As long as he is succesful in his method he doesn't need to attack us directly.