Hi, all. This is something I've been pondering for the past six weeks or so, ever since my 86-year-old mother, who suffered from dementia, took a major turn for the worse and had to be put in a nursing home. She's on all kinds of medications just to keep her alive, is losing weight, has to be fed most of the time, and even be reminded to swallow. She doesn't usually recognize us, and almost never talks; she just sits there. She's unaware of her bodily functions, and needs to wear Depends. There are very minor flickers of her personality for a minute or so now and then, but basically she's pretty "out of it". I'm totally opposed to actively killing someone when they're in this state, but I often wonder whether it's wrong to pump her full of medicine to keep her body alive. I can't help wondering if she's trying to die, and if we're perhaps standing in her way. I wonder if it wouldn't be kinder to remove all the medications and patches and shots to keep everything working the way it should, and just let nature take its course. But I also wonder if that wouldn't be a type of murder, since it would probably speed up her death. And I wonder if she's perhaps still alive for some reason I'm not aware of. She wasn't a particularly religious or spiritual person, but sometimes said in passing that "one of these days" she was going to call a priest friend of ours and have him baptize her, but it was never a high enough priority for her to actually do it. And of course now she is incapable of doing so. So I wonder if I should do that for her, to help her with her transition into the next life, whenever that time may come. At times I think that would be the right thing to do as a member of Christ's body. But at other times I think that might be a violation of her free will and the choices she made while she could. So I'd be interested to hear others' thoughts on what our responsibilities are to the elderly members of our families as far as their physical and spiritual needs while they're with us, and how we can help them transition to the next life, and how we can keep from standing in the way of that transition. Thoughts?

Peggy, I think we often do artificially and unnecessarily prolong life. I'm not talking here about trying to save the life of someone who has a chance of living, but of arresting what clearly seems to be a "dying process." It helps if the person in question has left instructions about what to do -- e.g., no artificial life support besides, perhaps, feeding. When they haven't, it can be a tough call for family members.

I'm sure we do go through a spiritual transformation during a dying process, and that it's important to not accelerate that -- e.g., assisted suicide. That's not the same as letting nature take its course, however. Even though the other can't communicate what's happening, that's no reason to conclude that nothing of significance is happening between them and God. As we note from our own lives, sometimes the most significant transformations are happening unconsciously, and we don't even become aware of them until they've already occurred.

For an official Catholic position, you might check out #2278-79. I've included the statements below for your convenience.

2277 Whatever its motives and means, direct euthanasia consists in putting an end to the lives of handicapped, sick, or dying persons. It is morally unacceptable.

Thus an act or omission which, of itself or by intention, causes death in order to eliminate suffering constitutes a murder gravely contrary to the dignity of the human person and to the respect due to the living God, his Creator. The error of judgment into which one can fall in good faith does not change the nature of this murderous act, which must always be forbidden and excluded.

2278 - Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of "over-zealous" treatment. Here one does not will to cause death; one's inability to impede it is merely accepted. The decisions should be made by the patient if he is competent and able or, if not, by those legally entitled to act for the patient, whose reasonable will and legitimate interests must always be respected.

2279 - Even if death is thought imminent, the ordinary care owed to a sick person cannot be legitimately interrupted. The use of painkillers to alleviate the sufferings of the dying, even at the risk of shortening their days, can be morally in conformity with human dignity if death is not willed as either an end or a means, but only foreseen and tolerated as inevitable Palliative care is a special form of disinterested charity. As such it should be encouraged.