Kashta, as you can tell, things are a little slow out here. I wish there were more people active, but it seems that the new social media options are more attractive to people.

Much of what you've shared seems to be something of significant points on your journey. One thing that stands out is your sense of Jesus' presence in men, and I want to affirm that, but also note that Jesus is equally present to us through women. My sense, then, is that this attraction you experience could also be psychological as well -- in the sense that Jung described. For Jung, a woman's unconscious side is imbued with masculine energy and so she is naturally drawn to men who resonate with her unconscious yearnings (and vice versa for men). This can and does feel deeply mystical, even in a sexual sense -- like one's soul-mate has arrived, that the divine is manifest in the other. Kundalini process can accentuate these attractions even more.

What would be ideal is for you to meet with someone regularly for spiritual direction. That's advisable for anyone seriously traveling the spiritual journey, and it doesn't imply that one has a problem. It's just helpful to sort out what's from God, or the unconscious, or other influences.
- see http://www.sdiworld.org/find-a.../seek-and-find-guide to locate a spiritual director in your area.

Re. more information on Jung and attractions.
- https://www.psychologytoday.co...d-romantic-chemistry

- https://appliedjung.com/the-ar...he-anima-and-animus/

- https://owlcation.com/social-s...the-Animus-Archetype