Maybe someone can explain to me some or all of what has been going on in my life in the last 3 months.

About 3 months ago, I started experiencing strange experiences. Most always happening when I lie down to sleep or within an hour of my normal bed time. Recently I have this feeling most anytime now. All I have to do is think about the experience, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. Every morning and every evening I meditate, I know the triple light protection inside and out now.

It starts off, I am either sitting or lying and I have this feeling that I am here but I am not (if that makes sense) I am aware of everything around me, but I do not feel like I am in my room any longer. Almost like I am floating or drifting. At those times I am not meditating, or trying to relax. I am just either sitting watching TV or reading news or playing with different codes on my computer.

When the feeling hits me, I lay down if I am not already in bed, then it feels like I have these tiny little electrical currents running up from my toes all the way to my upper back. It�s a continuous feeling, and if I move it shifts with my movement. It stops for a few seconds then it continues to move up my back to my neck. Last night I tried something different. I actually tried talking to what ever was causing this to happen. I did not get a response back of course. The currents or vibrations I feel are inside, I can not feel anything on my skin or sense anything near or around me, but I feel it inside me. Almost as if a spirit is trying to come thru me. Last night I realized I had never had the feeling in my arms or my fingers. So I asked thinking this to myself .. Since, I feel like I am losing my mind, if you are really here with me, confirm this by moving thru my arms and releasing my finger tips. At that moment before I finished saying this to myself, I felt a surge of energy thru my arms and releasing thru my index finger on both hands. At this point I sat up in bed, and heard something like a shuffling or wind moving around me.

I have not been able to sleep thru a 8 hour night for almost 3 months now. I sleep anywhere from 2 to 4 hours a night of broken sleep. I am woke up at all hours of the night either with a feeling that I am being watched or a feeling that I have been talking to someone or someone is trying to talk to me. I caught my self one night saying �no it�s not time� But I can not remember what I was dreaming about or if I was actually dreaming.

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. I also feel I am not supposed to be back in Missouri. Since I left Texas I have had this feeling I should not have come back to Missouri. Now it�s even stronger. Everything that has been happening is just confirming to me to leave here. But then again it could be coincidence. I always try to look at all angles before I make a decision on moving or changing something.

Ok I am done rambling, but I really would appreciate any input. The electrical currents as I call them are steady and continuous nightly, and even now as I type I can feel them in my lower back and thru my thighs. It shifts and never stays in one place.

Anything will help at this point. What I have tried does not seem to work. (forgive the typos)

Thanks, Erato, for sharing your experiences. There are many questions a spiritual director and/or counselor would ask of you to discern what may be going on in your life. Shalomplace will be a good resource for sorting through your experience in open forum or private consultation or for at least pointing you in the right direction for assistance elsewhere. I look forward to seeing how you interpret your experiences once the light of others' wisdom helps illuminate your own journey. I had experiences somewhat similar to what you describe and came through them okay but would not want to project them onto your situation, early on. I'm sure Phil is probably putting together a response to you even as I type and I look forward to hearing what he has to say. You may find browsing through the archives here very useful, too. Just curious: How did you find Shalomplace? if that is not an out of bounds question for you, presently?

peace,
jb

I had originally posted my message in another forum that I am a member of. One of the other ladies in the forum told me that it sounded like Kundalini, so I did a websearch, and then found this place

Hi Erato, and thanks for visiting here.

It's hard to say for sure what's going on with you, but it sounds like it's in the family of phenomena we might call chi/bioelectric/pranic movements. Sometimes these accompany a spiritual awakening, but it might be caused by all sorts of other issues as well. Very hard to say.

In addition to Qui est's suggestions, I'd recommend a visit to an acupuncturist. They're very good for understanding subtle energy phenomena of this kind and might even be able to help integrate it in some way.

Keep us posted on how things go.

Phil

There are alot of things that have been going on in my life especially in the last 6 months. I quit a very good programing job to move back home with my father to take care of him and my stepmother. Both are very ill and need assistance. Being divorced 5 years ago, my children live with their father, which is a almost daily battle with him. My surroundings are somewhat normal, nothing has changed much in the rhelm of my friends or aquaintances. I have started meditating more here and studying in spiritual areas, something that I stopped doing about 12 years ago.

Some of the things that I started were tarot cards, which I threw away a few weeks ago. Something was wrong with them, and I had to get them out of my house. I really do not know where to begin when it comes to what is going on around me. All seems to be the same as when I was in the other place that I lived. Difference faces here, the spirit in this state although I must say is more agressive and violent than where I lived before. All the people I see here are unhappy or rude, no one seems to smile or want to enjoy things around them. They would rather complain on a daily basis.

I need to get ready for for work now. I just just do not know where to start, I am searching and I can not find what I am looking for.

Erato,

My life�s goal is to make someone like yourself tingle voluntarily. That it should be happening involuntarily is no doubt quite disconcerting and scary for you. You sound as if you feel like I have many times: totally overwhelmed, out of place, and at the mercy of other people and forces. I used to wake up and, quite before any conscious thoughts or mind-chatter could enter my brain, I would have a feeling of anxiety, of an uncomfortable energy, and a feeling of wanting to escape all this.

Difference faces here, the spirit in this state although I must say is more agressive and violent than where I lived before. All the people I see here are unhappy or rude, no one seems to smile or want to enjoy things around them.

That�s quite a coincidence. Just yesterday I was telling Phil about a similar experience I had where I live. I saw (and still do see) this kind of thing in the faces, attitudes and postures of many of the people I meet. Now, I know that on a certain level it�s merely me applying my filter of how I feel. But I think it�s also true that how we�re feeling at the time sensitizes us to the way others are feeling. No doubt if we were all happy and chipper it would be �top of the morning to you all� and we would see reflected in the people around us more of our own happiness.

I suppose there are Kundalini forces here I work. I really don�t know much about them though so I wouldn�t discount them and I can obviously talk only about what I know. So in that vein and with that disclaimer I would stop looking for external causes and get in touch with your own feelings. You already know what you want, what you should do and what probably is so overwhelming is that this isn�t what others want you to do. That�s a lot of change and pressure you�re facing. I�m sure there must be tons of guilt involved too. The tingling could be nothing but repressed anger. I�d be pissed and disheveled (and quite freaking out) if I had to face all that you are facing now. If you�re like me, and not quite of the �Type A� personality, and if you tend to acquiesce and hold things in then I do understand � completely.

When I�ve been overwhelmed I never could find an answer because I didn�t know which questions to ask. I kept asking the wrong questions over and over. Find the right questions. Are you happy where you are? Are you doing what you want to be doing? Are you living your life or someone else�s? Do you feel powerless? If you answer �yes� to any of these then you�re going to feel even worse because you feel so stupid for not being powerful enough and strong enough to change this. And, of course, I�d say that these are the wrong questions because they�ll never give you an answer that will do nothing but make you feel like crap � over and over and over again.

Forgive me if I�ve mischaracterized anything. And if you do need to find the right questions you need to hear more from Phil and JB. They are the master and I am but the student. I heard that in a movie once.

Dear Earto,

Hi.. welcome to the club. (grin) As you probably figured out, you are not the only one who has/is dealing with these types of things. Me too. Discovering that I was not alone in most of this was the biggest help for me! Yes, I have experienced many of the same sort of things that you are... even the tingling. Is it Kundalini or poor circulation or something else, I really don't know but since I don't seem to have much control over it and feel ok physically otherwise, I pretty much decided to go with the flow there, taking note but not worrying over much about it. I haven't had the experience of "seeing" anger on the faces of people around me. For me it was pain.. sorrow.. anguish.. confusion. Neither is an easy place to be though. Think some of this could have been/be projection too. or maybe a showing of what we need to address for ourselves... where we need healing.
The questions that Brad mentioned... Are you happy? Are you doing what you want to do? Etc.. are all questions that ran around in my head like hampsters on wheels. Made me feel rather rotten too because I did feel powerless and I did feel guilty and yes, very angry. It wasn't until I owned my guilt and my powerlessness and my anger that I could let all of that go... only then could I recognize and accept the power, the beauty that is within me and start acting out of that center... to be myself instead of who others thought I should be.
Anyhow, enough of my story... just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
What helped me along? Well conversations with others, places like this and Phil's Daily Seed, a site called The Sanctuary, journaling .. but I think the biggest help for me was reading... St. John of the Cross, Merton, Lewis, Kelsey, Maggie Ross, long long list, the wisdom of the ages ... and going on retreat to St. Mary's.. a Benedictine community. Taking time away and just letting myself be held in the love of a community of prayer.
That said I definitely defer to the wisdom and experience of Phil and others here. They were/are a big help to me whether they know it or not and I am sure will be for you as well.
Smile... God loves you!
Peace,
Wanda