Hello, I am new to Kundalini. I had a seven year depression that started around puberty. I had thought it was "normal" depression until a woman I met in Nepal told me she had a similar incident, due to her Kundalini awakening. Previous to this depression, I was meditating three hours a day average, having ecstatic experiences, seeing visions, etc (at the age of 13). The depression came suddenly, with suicidal thoughts, catatonia, and night terrors. I found that as time went on I slowly eased out of the depression (took about seven years) but the spiritual experiences I had are gone, I can not experience them any more. Does anyone have experience with this? Thanks!

Hi Eeber
you are very young to have experiences like this and also to have such strong determination to meditate for hours a day. I would advise anybody who wants to meditate that much to have an experienced teacher to guide you.

When kundalini awakens the good comes with the 'bad'. So, with all the wonderful spiritual experiences like visions and ecstasies your unconscious neurotic tendencies flood up to the surface in order to be worked through and cleared out. I am glad you have been successful with healing the depression. How did you do it? Are you on medication? That may explain the dampening down effect on your spiritual experiences.

When it comes to spiritual 'experiences' it is very important to not be attached to them. They are a bit like the weather and seem to come and go on their own accord. The more you try and force them the less they will come.

I am sure if you would get back to intensive meditation they would come back again. But as I have said, make sure to have an experienced teacher as you seem to be prone to strong experiences.

Hope this helps.

Great response, Tara. Thanks.

Welcome to the forum, Eeber. Please do tell us more about yourself and your spiritual practice if you would like.