Hello everyone.

I have many experiences I'd like to understand more in-depth but only a handful of them are things that are cause for concern. I wanted to start a thread in which I could list some of the issues/concerns I am having. (The important stuff)

I am waiting to hear back from someone local to me who offers spiritual direction. This forum is the only support I have at the moment.

In the meantime I hope someone can offer some insight:
experiencing Kundalini Awakening symptoms in the context of pursuing the God of the Christian Bible through charismatic personal worship.

Issue:

1. Waking up during the night multiple times with extreme surges of energy in my head that cause me to, without control, leap up out of bed and move--seemingly fighting to regain control of who I am in time and space and the here and now of my self.

This happens more when I am "in the Spirit" after much worship. Sometimes this has a psychic component where I know something I could not know.

Other times this happens when I am overstimulated by caffeine or amphetamine ADHD medication I take several times per month.

2. ADHD stimulant medication - is this interfering with the process?

3. Why am I constantly vibrating or swooshing?
More now than ever. In my feet all day long and in my groin especially. When I am in public the energy seems to move when around certain people. Sometimes to my heart, other times to my head (which can be unpleasant) and even other times to my groin (but without sexual arousal)

Other times its in my forehead. Even other times on the crown of my head. Once in awhile I get a strong surge of adrenaline in my spleen area and I feel the most euphoric ecstatic unconditional Love & Joy. This happens sometime directed at God but mostly to birds or animals in nature or to people with pure spirits like older couples, young people that remind me of myself at an earlier age, etc. It's like a "heart expansion"

This energy I am afraid to try and direct it or control it--from a Christian standpoint is this ok to do? Or should my focus be on God alone?

God Bless!! These are the 3 main things I am currently needing help with. I won't post here too often but want to keep it open for any other problems that might come up.

Hi unhindered.

We've heard of such phenomena in some of the sharing in this forum, so you're not alone. One thing I would definitely encourage is that you discuss your ADHD medication questions with your doctor, and mention what you've shared in your post above as well, including your sense of a relationship between the energy phenomena and your spiritual practice.

As a Christian, the call is always to put God first, and to pray for guidance on how to deal with troubling issues in one's life, including disruptive energy phenomena. One thing we've found is that it's sometimes helpful to cut back a bit on meditative practices, especially contemplative ones. An evening charismatic meeting can also stir things up, often through the night. Try "lowering the thermostat" by doing less of what seems to stimulate the energy. There's a long list of coping suggestions here as well, and some might be helpful. Several forum members have also found help with a kundalini counselor, Tara Springett. See http://www.taraspringett.com/k...i/kundalini-symptoms She is Buddhist, but respectful of Christian beliefs. Tell her I say hi if you contact her.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

I agree with Phil. In the Internet I read that amphetamine derivatives in treating ADHD are a little bit controversial. I guess it would be a good idea to find a doctor who is a Christian and perhaps you could discuss with him, if some of your energetic symptoms can be increased or interfered with by the medication. Or to try change meds for some time and see what happens. But it requires a reasonable doctor, I suppose and being honest with him about your spiritual experiences, at least to some degree.

Thank you both for your responses. I am confident I need to discontinue the ADHD medication. Or at least use an extremely small dosage.

Thank you Phil for recommending that person. I have decided to stick with a charismatic christian perspective and am not comfortable with someone who isn't a Christian--but with that said if things get to be too much to handle I will definitely keep this person in mind.

I will be scheduling a christian "deliverance" session with a ministry called Sozo. It's not the screaming kind but 4 hours of an intense "anointing."

I made a mistake a couple of nights ago. There has been a battle between my heart and love and occasional lust.

(This might offend some people it's sexual and person--so stop reading if you think it might)

I discovered that I now have a strange ability if I so chose to do that "M" word without actually going all the way or even lusting and committing sin that way. I thought it was fine exploring this until I began feeling an evil presence and something demonic attached itself to me. I can feel it in my spleen/heart area. Fear/Anger/Frustration ever since this happened and I am constantly having to forgive and put on the mind of Christ. It dislodged a bit this morning. I 100% now know with certainty that doing what I did even without sexual thoughts is "sinful" or at the very least inviting demons to invade me.

The astounding severity and physical pressure I feel in my heart since this happened is crazy but I recognize it as my former (permanent) state of being before my awakening happened. I am not going back to this state though.

Since this night I have also begun to have pressure and buzzing in my spine...which I mostly have not experienced much at all. It feels extremely WEIRD moving my spine. It's not much pain (some) it feels more weird than anything.

The night I did what I mentioned I was visualizing the energy moving up my spine. Which I didn't think worked until yesterday.

I am done messing around. I am back in isolation and not having anyone guide me...I get myself into trouble I think.

Thanks for your comments.

unhindered, I don't know how safe it is to cut down on the medication you're using, and hope you will consult your doctor about this.

As you've discovered, there's a connection between sexual energy and the kundalini process, including ways to intensify the energy using certain sexual practices. This is one of the most difficult aspects to integrate, and it's why it's important to be moral and discerning in one's sexual expressions. As with almost everything else, noticing consequences and making adjustments in light of these learnings is really important, here. With what you're describing, I'd suggest doing less to stimulate the process; let things settle down more.

Which brings us to Sozo and "4 hours of intense anointing." Are you sure that's a good idea?

Peace, Phil

Thanks again for your responses Phil.

I am quite confident stopping the medication is alright as it's basically amphetamine for ADHD to be taken as needed but none-the-less will be discussing it with my DR.

To be honest what is really hard for me is understanding what is happening from me from two different perspectives: Christian and Eastern. My Christian perspective and discernment tells me that when I did what I described above I allowed something demonic to enter my heart. I felt an evil presence and the joy and heart expansions I was experienceing (like unconditional love towards people and animals) it's now turned into anger and frustration and I am struggling to make sure I forgive people and issues that come up.

Also--since my last post--INTENSE depression from my dark night of the soul after my mothers death 1.5 years ago--it resurfaced a couple of nights ago. I went from months of joy to crying not stop. I've since "rebuked it" and in prayer and been declaring joy through song and stuff...it's subsided...but I am no where near the joy/love level I was at before I messed with this energy.

The kundalini perspective I read says that sudden vibration in the tailbone/lower spine indicates an emotional blockage and also correlates with processing emotions and things like acceptance and forgiveness.

Why would my mothers death be coming back up? I mourned harder than most people I think know is possible and have dealt with it. Should I let the emotion come and deal with it again? I am terrified I will go back into a dark night type of period. The article I read discussed laying on your back with the bottoms of your feet pressed together to try and deal with the blockage. But this didn't work for me.

When I started this thread my issues were maybe a 5 on a scale from 1-10....now I'm at a 7.5 with this constant energy in my spine causing me to have to move constantly (not jerk but move around).

Did I open myself up to the demonic? Or is the kundalini perspective true? Or both? (Rhetorical questions unless you do want to answer).

Anyway. Thanks again (really) for this forum and the support it offers.

The kundalini process per se is not demonic, and we've got lots of discussion here about kundalini in relation to the Holy Spirit, so check that out. You've already noted how you can intensify the energy through certain practices; you can't manipulate the Holy Spirit like that.

Some of your sharing with us has indicated an unhealthy preoccupation with stirring up and intensifying energy. You should definitely tone that down. Let your focus be on growing closer to God and loving people more deeply; the energy will then take care of itself. Quit reading the kundalini literature, and be sure to see a counselor and a spiritual director about the issues you're raising. They're there to help.

unhindered,

I don't think it's a good idea to manipulate the medication without consulting with a doctor. Since I posted about it, I just want to clarify that I didn't suggest to you doing anything with your medication on your own.

I also agree with Phil that toning down is perhaps the best thing. I imagine it might be difficult for you to handle your emotions and thoughts about all of this, and kundalini process brings a lot of tensions and doubts even for the most emotionally stable people, but I think that it's always best to consult someone experienced about things.
I'm a little worried that you might be lost in your experiences, without having some distance to them.

Of course, you decide for yourself, but my feedback to you would be psychotherapy and a sound spiritual direction, to put things in order.
good luck, anyway

Thank you both so much for your responses. I just deleted my response as it was too long I think.

I def. need a counselor or spiritual director to help me with some of my issues instead if sharing extensively here. It'd be impossible to say the things I'd like to without writing a 500 page book.

In response to some of what you both mentioned. Yes. I am absolutely way too focused on this but it is part of my Aspergers I think. I am only able to focus on one area of interest at a time. I also have many life issues (perhaps learned helplessness) to where I am disconnected from people and isolated (and have been for years). Kundalini is helping me with this but it is not instant.

When all I have is myself and time reading, research, and much philosophical thought--its what I do. Before Kundalini it would have been something else. It's just how I am but I agree it def. is a problem to some extent.

I lost my PT cleaning job and cannot afford spiritual direction. I also am not helped much by traditional counselors or therapists. I have tried. What I am really looking for is someone who understands some of what I am going through and is also "awakened" in a sense and who can help me apply the things I already understand about myself (the changes I need to make) and hold me accountable.

I have def. had many extreme things happen to me in my life. Extreme emotions like terror and much stuff since childhood. Many night attacks too. So much stuff any normal human I think would have gone mad but somehow with the help of God I am pretty emotionally and mentally stable considering all I have been through.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers & ADHD at the beginning of the year.

I was wondering if you are willing to answer a couple more questions? There is something specific I have been searching for but cant find much said about.

1. Sexual arousal and the "M" word.

When I was prayed for two months ago I was delivered from this and now it's easy not to do. But now I have so much self control I have found I can do this without lustful thoughts and also without "finishing." I have the ability to just stop.

In my life this has been an addiction and something I have hated--but will it still hinder spiritual progress if I do it once in awhile without lusting or ejaculating?

2 months ago I found out that incubus/succubus was a real thing and any sexual arousal or buzzing in my groin I am constantly asking myself if it's demonic.

There are certain days where I haven't felt much pleasurable things (because I am disconnected from people and learning how to connect) that doing this--it's why I was addicted to it my whole life--but is it ok once in awhile if I don't think lustful thoughts?

2. Last week I woke up in the middle of the night with some intense depressive and self-loathing type emotions I had in my dark night after my grandmothers death. In the dream I had I was going through her stuff but I became lucid in the dream when I realized the stuff I was crying over was not even hers. I woke up and cried for a minute and then I just rebuked this and attributed it to something demonic. Do you think it is? I do NOT have bipolar. I have already considered it with my psychiatrist. These depressive emotions feel so strong and I don't want them to suck me in. I am not going back there.

I have been doing so great for months and had not felt those deep dark emotions in well over a year. I thought I was through them?

Last night as I was about to fall asleep I saw my grandmother in a weird dejavu sense and the same emotions I had in her presence when she was alive I felt--love--peace--safety--familiarity--It was weird. But again I rebuked this.

I was so over her death I declared it to be the worst and also the best thing that had ever happened to me. I was so comfortable with death and in the afterlife that when my cousin passed away a month or so ago I only felt sadness for a moment and then I just felt peace and haven't thought about it since...until these emotions came back last week.

Today I am having dejavu about my cousin. Emotions. I don't have memory flashbacks when this happens (which happens quite a bit) I feel the emotions I felt and then I see the images associated with them.

I am starting to feel sad and my heart is starting to hurt when I think about this. But I have been refusing to dwell in it and pushing them away. I mourned my grandmother so completely. All I felt was joy and love. Now I am started to get some pain again...and my cousin too.

I was doing great. People were wanting to come to church events with me (non-believers). I was transformed and was transforming the environment around me. A wild doe walked right up to me in the woods and followed me for 20 mind. as I was walking and praying. Then I lost my job suddenly and the next week my car went.

A Christian would call this an attack? Perhaps God is allowing this to help me realize I need to also focus on earthly things too? (which has always been hard for me - i am basically 31 and have never supported myself)

Oh. In regards to the medication. Don't worry I understand what you are saying. I am meeting with my doctor next week. She will be ok with either stopping or increasing my dosage. Without Vyvanse (ADHD stimulant) I am more spiritual but my left brain cant get much done.

On Vyvanse however I am less connected to Love and I feel constant vibrations in my body. feet, legs, groin, third eye--it seems to skip right over my heart. I sometimes makes me too obsessive and I realize it messes with the kundalini energy.

I won't be doing anything without my doctor (don't worry) but if I choose to stay on it for awhile to get some things done--will it damage this kundalini process? Is it too much on my CNS?

Thanks again for your help.

- A

Dear A.

You raise many weighty issues, and a discussion board like this has its limitations. Certainly, we cannot provide the kind of assistance that counseling and spiritual direction would, and I encourage you to pursue these options even though your financial situation is limited. I do understand how Aspergers and ADHD are part of your struggle; I have a nephew with these conditions and he can go whole-hog into something.

Regarding your question about sexual energy: since you have come to a place of greater discipline and freedom, then why not use those strengths to sustain complete chastity? Surrender your sexuality to Christ, and do not stimulate yourself, especially to intensify energy.

Your dreams about your grandmother might be indicating unresolved grief or conflicting emotions. Something to take to the counselor.

You have lots of issues to sort out, none the least of which are lifestyle related. It is difficult when one has no regular work or contact with other people -- easy to become overly preoccupied with self. Challenge yourself to find something to do -- volunteer service, part-time work, etc. Good luck. Prayers.