Hi people,


I just joined the forum a couple of mins. ago.I have been meditating for about a year now and had no progress so far. I have never had an unusual experience NEVER. My meditation is totally DIY without a guru and it is all about lying down with a blindfold and trying hard to avoid thoughts. I have been doing this for 2 years now but I know I have not progressed at all, NOTHING whatsoever.

But, last week I felt as though something plugged in. The usual darkness that I always saw with closed eyes sort of grew ... not in size but it kind of grew on Me. Seamless thoughts continued doing their business but I was no longer bothered with them. I was fully aware of me lying down in meditation and my daughter in the other room walking about, but this time it was not the usual lying down and looking at the darkness. It was like the darkness was in control of me or something, some tingling or maybe numbing was happening, especially around my head. There was some buzzing like feeling too. Hard to describe.

I tried it again a couple of times that night and it worked each time .. only with slightly less intensity.

Next day I went on Youtube and played the following clip on regular TV volume on my computer (no headphones)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4td...ture=related

And within 20 mins time I was engulfed by this darkness, I was tingling, buzzing and extremely scared. I felt being in no control of this yet was fully aware of me meditating. I just remember the continuos Om sound in the clip got to me and was no longer playing on the computer, it was playing in my head. It was like I did not do this, the sound did the job. Again very hard to explain. I was very very scared. I pulled away my blindfold to stop this. My heart was racing like anything. I have always tried binaural beats to no avail in the past 1 year but this one hit me hard. I chickened out really quickly and main element of fear being that such sound can harm the basic working of my brain. I felt I might go crazy or something. My entire body was tingling and the heart was pounding towards the end. Perhaps I was scared of the unknown.

This put me off that clip and meditation. I was scared of trying that out again, but I gathered courage and kept giving it more tries. Each time I became more relaxed about my fear and now I am very used to this 'stage'. BUT, I do not go any further than that now. It is like old times, only this time I get to the point when the source of the sound seems to be in my head and I am in control yet in that scary dark void.

Question no. 1. : Will I ever get delivered from this really scary darkness that to the promised bliss during such a session?

Question no. 2. : Since the past 3-4 days I have been feeling a slight, soothing pressure between my brows and on my nose bridge. This pressure kind of breathes although in a slow motion. What does this mean?

Please help
Hugs
Autumn

Greetings, Autumn, and welcome to the forum.

The youtube link you posted doesn't work, so maybe you could try again.

I'm not sure what you're hoping to have happen in meditation, especially since you allude to making no progress. It sounds like you're aiming for some kind of state of consciousness characterized by thought-less-ness and inner peace, is that right?

Most of us who post here are doing forms of meditation that are more rooted in Christian faith and, hence, relational with respect to God. Regarding such forms of prayer, we would never say that we're getting nowhere or making no progress as simply to do the practice is enough. What we receive from it is as much God's business as the fruit of our own effort.

It's difficult to tell just what the source of the darkness and other phenomena you describe are. Maybe you're just stirring things up in your own unconscious. I'd encourage you to honor any sense of inner warning or "red flags" you experience concerning your practice. Sometimes pushing too hard too fast with that kind of practice can stir up the unconscious too much. I would also encourage you to call on God's guidance regarding your prayer. That can only help.

Keep us posted on how it's going.

Hi Autumn,

Welcome to Shalom Place. I guess my gut response is concern for you that you would keep going after this "stage" in meditation when it seems to be so frightening and feel out of control.

If it's from God, it wouldn't produce the kind of terror you describe. Your fear may actually be a sensible warning system. With a daughter in the next room, is it safe to be engaging in supernatural states that feel out of control?

I guess I'm wondering too what are you wanting to accomplish in those meditations? You mentioned a "promised bliss." Where did you get that idea? Are you involved in some kind of spiritual community or cult?

If you are after a connection with God, Who made you and Who loves you, you'd be much better off sitting before Him with the intention of getting to know Him. Rather than trying to shut down your thoughts, you can use them to direct your attention to prayer. Prayer is making conscious contact with God as a friend.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, I'm just worried about 'worst-case scenarios' and feel protective, especially of moms with small children (because I am one and can identify with how challenging that is!).

Blessings to you, Autumn.