Hi all

My name is Anastasia and English is not my first language but I will try my best.

Also it is my first post on the forum in my life Jbe generous.

Long story short:

My life is rather ordinary. I have a lovely family , kids a good satisfying job .One day (December 2014) everything changed. One of my co-workers who I knew for years touched me and in his eyes I have seen hmmm hard to say what was it ..a shadow ?? something deep like infinity. Although it was of scary I wanted to look more and more as it started from this point. Than I felt like something hit me. I will not be using this fancy language as I have no spiritual knowledge at all. He told me his psychic said to him I am his soul mate??? What is a soul mate I said? He said it could not be truth as he is married...and he does not believe in those thing ..neither than I. So everything started since that day, all the sensations you are describing which are quit general. We were like magnets. I started emanating strong energy drawing people towards me.

When that happened I started meditating out of the blue. Never done it before so did not understand the concept, posture just something was telling me to do it. I felt embarrassed with myself but started it. First time was normal nothing special. As I felt weird I stopped for two weeks. the pull was stronger though and started again. Did not tell anyone and kept going it.
I was told by numerous people I look somehow younger. I've lost my passion and interest to everything including my family (that was though) could not concentrate on anything I was reading and trying to find out what was happening. So I thought that guy must be my soul mate or even twin flame. The sexual attraction to the guy did not even like??? Weird. But it was undeniable. My non existing sex drive went up to the sky. My mood swing, sadness and grief, happiness and love on the same day? Wow. It was too much when I told him that this is it I experienced panic attack next day in the very crowded room following depression which went over during few days after stop taking medicines. I learn to let go of all of the feelings and surrender. Meditation helped me a lot. But know I am afraid to mediate as I am experiencing something I am afraid off. I have seen different colours, can change my eye sight (similar to crossed eye effect) and see shapes like colourful spark in the air. After years without dreams I have vivid dreams every so often (not too many though) which I remember. I see all those numbers everywhere, My body gets paralysed; numb especially my lef side of the skull. When meditate few times my body was kind of locked and I could not move. My body moved itself with strange way. I was shaking my eyes were rotating (that as the feeling but I do not know what was happening) . I had something similar to Orgasm during mediation once but it was mental. When look at the light my eyes see shapes. I also see something in the air and different particles like small shadows are in my vision all the time.

I got my heart checked due to terrible pain. All fine, heartache gone for a while.

I cannot cry, I cannot remember my life, major events, what I was doing weeks ago.

(it was before kundalini arousal as well)

They area between brows is painful, my crown for last few days is tingling, feels rush of energises going through my body sometimes from my crown and my face is vibrating and sometimes whole body vibrating like mad. I had like an insect crawling under my tummy. (only once) That was very weird.

But when I had an out of body experience It was kind of scary. I can see aura the fist layer (white)of my aura (once see it very light blue)

Last few days are quieter. I do not mediate that much only quite my mind as every time I do meditate it goes further.

After three months of extreme pain and love I finally got released from that guy. Imagine that I have no feeling towards him at all. Everything disappeared. I thought I love him so much and once I surrender all gone. This is just piece of advice to everybody who think about soul mates and twin flames.

I was convinced he was my special twin flame as we have gone through all of the phased like bubble love, pull and push, runner and chaser and so on. Nothing ever happened between us. No physical contact except touch. Now I know it was kundalini started arousing triggered by him who I think might be my karmic Soul mate. Everything we read on the internet fit our experience .We got married the same year, Have children in the same age and were sitting years ago close to each other.

The funny thing is I realized another guy from work has the same sensations since the same time December 2014

He is feeling incredible heat in his hands when he is around me. We both have quivering in our lips and much more,

I do not know what to do. I know I need to challenge myself to find out what is the next step. Get some guidance.

But can you share your experience. I wonder how did you come up with your next step, life purpose, find you r true self.
Also my symptoms faded recently as I did not meditate. when started again today , the vibration came back. I am just scared that I will isolate from my family again. Is it possible to just stay the way we are once stop meditating.
Am I Selfish wanting to keep my life??Appreciate any feedback.

Greetings, Anastasia. Your English is just fine, and I'm glad you've shared your story with us.

You haven't fallen off the map of human experience, so you breathe a sigh of relief about that. Almost everything you've shared can be accounted for in terms of kundalini syndrome and the psychology of Carl Jung (especially his writings about unconscious male and female energies, and how they lead to very strong attractions, at times). It sounds like the encounter with the male co-worker was a kind of shaktipat, or energy transmission, and that he himself had something going on from his encounter with a psychic. Then came the kundalini phenomena, and the intense stirring of unconscious sexual energy, which is also part of the process.

I'm not sure what you mean by "meditation," so perhaps you can explain more about that. Also, what is your spiritual practice like, and your faith? Have you been a religious person thus far?

One thing you have already noticed is that when you cut back on spiritual disciplines like meditation, the fireworks die down. That's probably the best thing to do right now, until you find a new balance in living. Re-introducing meditation and other spiritual disciplines in small doses can happen again after awhile. It would be great if you had someone to guide you through the process, but I don't even know where you live, or if there's anyone in your area. Tara Springett once posted here regularly, and she was most helpful with people struggling with disruptive kundalini symptoms, so you might look her up: http://www.taraspringett.com She's in a Buddhist tradition, but respects others' religious orientation. There's a mention of "Find your soulmate or restore peace and love to difficult relationships" on her site, and you can tell her you're not into the soulmate thing. I don't place much stock in the idea myself.

We have a discussion on helpful practices for integrating kundalini, so perhaps you might find something helpful there as well.
- see https://shalomplace.org/eve/for.../25010765/m/78210765

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

quote:

I'm not sure what you mean by "meditation," so perhaps you can explain more about that. Also, what is your spiritual practice like, and your faith? Have you been a religious person thus far?

Hi Phil and thank you for your reply.
By meditation I meant I am sitting in lotus position, close my eyes and quite my mind,
Doing what my heart was telling me to do.
Meditation helped me to get out from this situation. I really enjoyed it even though few times it was scary.
I was born in Christian family going to the church every Sunday, For the last years I moved to Ireland and stopped going to church and pray.
I was thinking God is everywhere and everyone and was trying to be a good person. However started feeling strong urge to start praying again. Feeling presence of what I think are my guides. Started asking them for help and getting those numbers everywhere. I am trying to figure them out..
When I look back all my symptoms were rather pleasant then unpleasant, I was afraid few times of unknown but in general I felt special for a while. Than when I found out it is very common I started going with the flow and accepting this as something normal. (I did not share this with my family yet but I am going to).
I would like to as about the flouters in the eyes. I started having them after my panic attack., For few weeks I was awakening few times during the night. I was extremely tired with bad headaches and then got those floaters in the eyes. Did not put too much attention to them but recently they are everywhere in my vision.
I was wondering might those be connected to Kundalini? I should probably get my eyes checked but it would be interesting to know could there be a connection.
I am recently experiencing strange pain in my head, having sore throat , ringing in my ears, pricking tongue , Still having vibrations in my body and feeling hot In parts of my body but the biggest change I see in me. I spot synchronities everywhere. See the reason for them, Have new people entering my life who are helping to figure out who I am and what I want from life. I started searching... Until now I was existing going with the flow , expectations wanted to be perfect in others people eyes. I realized I forgot about my myself. I do not feel guilty for doing something only for myself. I am so happy. I still do not know my purpose or my passion by I know that I will get there soon.
I am extremely happy with myself loving everybody around. Found some kind off connection with nature. When all that started invisible force made me to go for a walk every day for 3 weeks. I was hugging trees??? (hehhe felt embarrassed at the time and was making sue nobody see me) I was meditating sitting on the ground??? had extreme hotness in my heart and feeling like my heart was expanding. After talking to older man I was so loving that tears were coming out from my eyes. Even when was listening to birds I was crying from happiness,. ??? It was the strangest, weirdest experience I ever had.
I am happy person who understand now how strong power love have...I feel grateful that I could experience all of that. I am not waiting for next steps anymore. I believe in my heart will lead me towards my destiny.
Best Regards
XXXX

Anastasia, I've not heard a connection between kundalini and floaters in the eyes. I occasionally have floaters, but my eye doctor tells me it is because of my age. They can happen to anyone at any time, however; it's just tissue inside the eyeball that flakes off and eventually dissolves. I'd suggest you do get it checked out with your eye doctor, just in case it signals something serious that might be able to be corrected.

It sounds like things are moving along with your process. The synchronicities, feeling of connectedness with nature, expanding heart and mind -- that's all part of it. I do think that following your heart will continue to lead you along the right path, and think that at some point the issue of who God is for you will be part of search.

Thanks so much for keeping us posted.