Hi everyone, a couple weeks ago I had a very unique experience to me. I am just going to be blatantly honest for once here because it might help. Please bare with me. I am M / 24 years old

I never really did any meditation, but I had been completely abstinent from sex/masturbation for about 2.5 years. It got to a point where I was developing severe anxiety from a fear-based/constipated life style, pretty isolated from everyone but my parents. So I decided to force myself to stare at a woman in a TV show and let any repressed energy build up while just observing it. Then I shut off the video after a while, refusing to release anything.

I went into another room and just started staring at a random object intensely while attempting to clear my mind completely. I started to feel the potential for energy to flow in the back of my head. As I took my awareness there, so much energy rushed to the back of my head from my lower spine, for a few stretches of 3 minutes. I'd hear a hissing sound for some time after each instance. Quickly so many of my psychological/physical issues felt relieved for the next few days, and this surge of energy would spontaneously happen maybe 30-40 times in those days. Ended up sleeping very little each of those nights and was extremely motivated, more receptive to life in general. Had a sense of bliss that was very similar to how I felt when I used to use cannabis pretty heavily.

Although now it is not spontaneous, I am consciously allowing it to happen (by just staring at objects, no stimulus), 1-3 times a day. I am just concerned that I might hurt myself with how intense this energy comes each time. Since the first day, the energy always rips through my throat on the way to my head, and it is very easy for me to tense up my neck while this happens. This makes my throat very sore and there is a lump of pain I feel when I move my neck or speak. This actually is making me pretty depressed because I love to sing and want to continue to develop my voice but I am always afraid this is going to damage my voice if I don't control the energy properly.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to control the energy better, or relieve the throat tension? The benefits from this since I've discovered it have been amazing and I'd love to continue this path without it being shrouded by fear.

Welcome, Green Decker, and thanks for sharing your experience here.

There are a few principles you might try working with:
1. Energy follows attention - so when you decided to just stare non-reflectingly at the image of a woman, the energy moved toward the 3rd eye, witnessing center of consciousness (aka 6th chakra).
2. Thought focuses attention -- so you can move the energy this way or that.

Your sensitivity to this might be, in part, because you had somehow repressed your energy, and when you took the lid off by "staring," the energy jumped up.

Energy stuck in the throat (5th chakra) usually indicates some kind of block, usually a lack of confidence in oneself, and perhaps intellectual confusion. You can chant or "stare" and move some energy through, but for lasting resolution, you will need to do your work like forming your mind in truth and coming to love yourself unconditionally -- things we need to do anyway.

It might also happen that the energy becomes less intense in short order now that you're taking a new attitude toward life.

Read, reflect, pray, meditate. The two books I've written on kundalini can help you find perspective. See the top of the k forum index page, or go to http://shalomplace.com/psrbks.html for more info.

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:
Welcome, Green Decker, and thanks for sharing your experience here.

There are a few principles you might try working with:
1. Energy follows attention - so when you decided to just stare non-reflectingly at the image of a woman, the energy moved toward the 3rd eye, witnessing center of consciousness (aka 6th chakra).
2. Thought focuses attention -- so you can move the energy this way or that.

Your sensitivity to this might be, in part, because you had somehow repressed your energy, and when you took the lid off by "staring," the energy jumped up.

Energy stuck in the throat (5th chakra) usually indicates some kind of block, usually a lack of confidence in oneself, and perhaps intellectual confusion. You can chant or "stare" and move some energy through, but for lasting resolution, you will need to do your work like forming your mind in truth and coming to love yourself unconditionally -- things we need to do anyway.

It might also happen that the energy becomes less intense in short order now that you're taking a new attitude toward life.

Read, reflect, pray, meditate. The two books I've written on kundalini can help you find perspective. See the top of the k forum index page, or go to http://shalomplace.com/psrbks.html for more info.

Thank you so much Phil. I had one more question I could not find anywhere. Is it ok to allow these energy surges to happen on a full stomach? I am finding when they happen on a full stomach it is leaving my throat more sore than usual, and some stomach pain. I am thinking because of some sort of acid reflux/indigestion? Please let me know if you have thoughts on this.

I don't know, as I've never run across this question.
Generally, one learns from experience -- what helps, what doesn't, etc. Maybe try lying down on your back for a few minutes, noticing your breathing, thinking peaceful thoughts.

Also, when you speak of "allowing" the energy surges to happen, is this something you can control?

quote:

Originally posted by Phil:
I don't know, as I've never run across this question.
Generally, one learns from experience -- what helps, what doesn't, etc. Maybe try lying down on your back for a few minutes, noticing your breathing, thinking peaceful thoughts.

Also, when you speak of "allowing" the energy surges to happen, is this something you can control?

I can control what I do to some extent but it is difficult to just feel the energy while going about doing something. I have been practicing abstinence for so long and am afraid I might have an orgasm/emission accidentally if I don't allow the energy to shoot upward. Trying to make sure it doesn't settle in the pubic area which is where it always starts. I am afraid of the noticeable drop in energy that comes from ejaculation and have created great prevention methods against it in these years. I have tried to just think peaceful thoughts with the energy but it can feel uncomfortable for these reasons.

quote:

Originally posted by GreenDecker16:

Although now it is not spontaneous, I am consciously allowing it to happen (by just staring at objects, no stimulus), 1-3 times a day. I am just concerned that I might hurt myself with how intense this energy comes each time. Since the first day, the energy always rips through my throat on the way to my head, and it is very easy for me to tense up my neck while this happens. This makes my throat very sore and there is a lump of pain I feel when I move my neck or speak. This actually is making me pretty depressed because I love to sing and want to continue to develop my voice but I am always afraid this is going to damage my voice if I don't control the energy properly.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to control the energy better, or relieve the throat tension? The benefits from this since I've discovered it have been amazing and I'd love to continue this path without it being shrouded by fear.

Hello GreenDecker16:

A few thoughts:
If you are religious the RC have daily readings
that the orders read. They are very uplifting,
often praising God. You can also sing words of
praise, joy, love to Jesus and Mother Mary.
The Lord's Prayer is beautiful sung.

quote:

Originally posted by Mary Sue:

quote:

Originally posted by GreenDecker16:

Although now it is not spontaneous, I am consciously allowing it to happen (by just staring at objects, no stimulus), 1-3 times a day. I am just concerned that I might hurt myself with how intense this energy comes each time. Since the first day, the energy always rips through my throat on the way to my head, and it is very easy for me to tense up my neck while this happens. This makes my throat very sore and there is a lump of pain I feel when I move my neck or speak. This actually is making me pretty depressed because I love to sing and want to continue to develop my voice but I am always afraid this is going to damage my voice if I don't control the energy properly.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to control the energy better, or relieve the throat tension? The benefits from this since I've discovered it have been amazing and I'd love to continue this path without it being shrouded by fear.

Hello GreenDecker16:

A few thoughts:
If you are religious the RC have daily readings
that the orders read. They are very uplifting,
often praising God. You can also sing words of
praise, joy, love to Jesus and Mother Mary.
The Lord's Prayer is beautiful sung.

I have become a very spiritual person in the last couple years. I actually love to sing as a service to God. However I feel I am being tested now as I mistakenly have rushed Kundalini to my head so much that my voice feels very hoarse injured. I am at a crossroads where I want to sing to help my mind heal from this but also want to be conscious and allow my voice to heal properly

Hello GreenDecker16:

Have you heard of grounding? Walking/being in nature;Eating heavier foods like meat; Hard physical labor if able; Hug a tree; connecting with the center of the earth; less concentration. It may decrease the amt. of energy going through your neck. There is a process called Tapping that has helped me considerably. How to do this process is on the web. Basically it's about accepting how you are feeling & letting the energy flow.

All my best wishes. Your journey is bringing some memories of my own journey.
God Bless

quote:

Originally posted by Mary Sue:
Hello GreenDecker16:

Have you heard of grounding? Walking/being in nature;Eating heavier foods like meat; Hard physical labor if able; Hug a tree; connecting with the center of the earth; less concentration. It may decrease the amt. of energy going through your neck. There is a process called Tapping that has helped me considerably. How to do this process is on the web. Basically it's about accepting how you are feeling & letting the energy flow.

All my best wishes. Your journey is bringing some memories of my own journey.
God Bless

Thank you so much. This is great advice. I am finding if I keep myself relaxed about whatever I am feeling I am having better energy flow.

Yes, remember: energy follows attention; thought focuses energy. Relaxing thoughts and images can help to create a more positive energy flow; anxious thoughts influence it unto unpleasant experiences.

That's why Mary Sue's suggestion about prayer of praise is important. Praise launches the human spirit Godward, and our energy flows accordingly. Everything works best when we are centered in God.

Thank you Phil. I am finding this to be true