I'm new here, just found this board last night. Boy, am I glad I did! Just simply knowing that you aren't alone in this process helps OH SO much. It's a real blessing that I'm very thankful for.

Ever since my earliest childhood memories, I've had "otherworldly" experiences. Expansion/contraction of my "mind," "glimpsing" infinity, periods of bliss, coupled with periods of intense doom and gloom. This all came to a climax at age 18, (I'm now 27), when I decided to try psilocybin mushrooms. I was never a drug user before age 16, which is when my parents had divorced, causing major emotional trauma in my life. Afterwards, I just didn't care much about anything, and began experimenting with different mind-altering substances.

The mushroom "trip" set off a full-blown Kundalini awakening, the understanding of which I was completely oblivious to. With no idea of what was happening, I reacted in terror and panic as the energy rose up my feet, calves, thighs, up into my spine, into my brain, then flushing down like boiling hot oil. After this, I left my body, witnessing the Earth recede from view, and then the galaxy itself. I "turned" around, to be greeted by three entities of light - a great light, a lesser light, and a lesser light. They must have obviously sensed my panic and ignorance of what was occuring, as they communicated to me, telepathically, that it "wasn't my time," that I "wasn't ready." They certainly were correct about that.

I then returned to my body, and was shattered by the experience emotionally, psychologically, and physically. This led to an eventual psychiatric hospitalization, years of suffering, alcoholism, etc. The energy eventually "paused" itself after I found opiates - the only thing that offered any relief. However, now that i'm nearly tapered off of them completely a few years later, then energy is returning, and is picking up where it left off, cleaning chakras and "tuning" my mind. Luckily, this time around, I've recently found out what Kundalini actually is, and how it works within people. I spoke "to" it, and have accepted it into my life, and am trying to "make friends" with it. I find that good nutrition and supplementation with Epsom salt, sea salt pushes, vitamin C, and supplements for adrenal fatigue have really helped things out. However, I do still fear the experience overall. I'm working on letting that fear go.

My main question is, has anyone else encountered this "trinity" of lights? Is it something that I'm supposed to re-visit someday? It was a most bewildering experience, and not exactly one I'd like to repeat! Any help is appreciated. Thank you, and much love to you all!

Greetings, InLimbo, and welcome to the forum.

So glad to hear that things have settled down for you. Diet and exercise are an important part of integrating kundalini; so is spirituality, and most of us on this forum are doing so as Christians.

Don't know what to say about those beings of light. Maybe they were angels? Who knows. But it sounds like it's important for you to learn more why you're needed on Earth. What's your sense of this?

Thx for the kind welcome, Phil. I look forward to communing with all of you.

My sense of this? Honestly, I really don't know. I know that the Bible speaks of a Holy Trinity, so is it possible that this is what was being referred to? During this time, my ego had COMPLETELY dissolved, and I had absolutely no sense of "self." The experience was so foreign that I didn't, and still don't, have a total grasp of what it was all about. I really wish I could find someone else who'd undergone this as well. Until then, all've the reading I've done here and elsewhere has been a HUGE help.

I completely agree with your suggestion of needing to find my purpose on Earth. I haven't quite figured out what that is yet, but I do feel I'm approaching that answer day by day, and I'm confident that Kundalini will guide me to it. I sense that it'll be something to do with helping humanity in some way, possibly a large, far-encompassing way. Is it possible that the "rebirth" the Mayan calendar spoke of could be a resurgence of Kundalini activity? I believe it's a possibility! If so, this world will undoubtedly need people to address the phenomenon and explain what's going on, and maybe I'd fit in there.

Right now, it's still all guesswork on my part! =)

Hey again...I had energy running throughout my body shortly after typing that last response, so I decided to head out for a late-night run. While jogging, I had more time to think about your post, with the perspective of an "amped" and clearer mind from the exercise.

I came to a conclusion about what likely happened in meeting with the "trinity." I believe that I underwent a near-death experience. Upon "leaving" my body, I mentioned I had lost all sense of self. When I was told that it was "not yet my time," I believe that that was my maker letting me know that I was not yet ready to die, and that I had much more to do back on Earth with my lifetime. It's entirely possible that the awakening was SO intense and SO traumatizing - being HUGELY amplified by the hallucinogen use - that I had literally died, if only for a moment.

This may very well be the process of becoming "born again," as Jesus himself spoke of. I have many more details of what occurred before/after the awakening reached this point, but that'd be quite a bit of typing!

This was actually mostly my original interpretation shortly after it had happened, but I guess with years' time my conscious mind was "distorting" that message somewhat. Tonight's revelation actually gave me quite a feeling of peace - for if I've already experienced death itself, what is left to fear?

You've already helped me more than you know...

Your brother in spirit,
-Jason

Hey Bliss, thx for the post!

One big factor in my awakening is that it was initiated by a RIDICULOUSLY intense mushroom trip. For starters, I was just a kid - 18 years old. We all remember what THAT mindset is like. Secondly, with the exception of cannabis (which isn't anywhere NEAR the intensity of mushrooms), the use of psilocybin, which initiated my awakening, was my first EVER use of a hallucinogen. I wasn't even used to the "normal" effects of a "trip," nevermind a full-blown Kundalini awakening!

During the beginning of my "trip," I saw trails with movement of hands/objects, weird, foreign characters appearing out of a leather wallet, and what felt like a cable attached to my chest area, with a rocket ship attached to the other end, taking off at full speed. (I now relate this to the opening of my heart chakra.) Colors shone at extreme brightness, taking on a neon character. As time went on, however, it only became stronger, and stronger, and stronger. I began to become unsettled, and deeply worried. I thought, "how far is this going to GO?"

Shortly after, I felt a "lightning strike" into the top of my head, and that's when things REALLY heated up. Forgetting how to walk, I crawled on my hands and knees to my mother's bed. That is when I was met, psychologically, by a green "grub." It appeared happy, even friendly. It crawled in through the bottoms of my feet, and made its way up my calves, and thighs. The pressure, pushing outward, was SO intense that I was convinced my muscle tissue would burst open at any moment. As it approached my spine, it "fished" around back and forth, looking for the base of it, and then slowly rose upward, expansion feelings still strongly intact.

When the "grub" rose to my crown, it screamed loudly and violently, as flames arose all around it. It was then that the "liquid fire" spilled down my body. This was the point of absolute, total panic. Never had I felt that much fear in my life before, nor since. Looking back, I believe it was my immature mindset perpetuating the negativity at the time, as I'd undergone extreme personal stress for nearly 2 years prior to the awakening. I simply wasn't anywhere close to being prepared, and totally lacked the maturity, and this gave my awakening a negative, hellish quality.

I then vacated my body. At this time, as I'd said in my previous post, my ego/identity had completely vanished. I knew not my name, where I was from, up from down, nor what "anything" was. The lights certainly were friendly to me, and compassionate, but I was so terrified and in such shock that I was just incapable of experiencing any joy that they would have been radiating. To answer your question, yes, I was a believer at the time, raised Baptist. I did become atheist for many years after the awakening, but I now know that this was a "defensive" reaction by my mind, simply not wanting to accept what happened as real. I now know better!

As for stories of near-death experiences, they mostly line up exactly word for word when it comes to describing what occured to me. Undergoing a NDE is the only satisfactory explanation for this, imo. It's certainly comforting to know that I am not alone in going through this, and I'm glad to finally have answers after nearly a decade of questioning.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I figure it's better to give a bit too much than too little! I REALLY appreciate yours and Phil's help very greatly! Much love and peace to you both. <3

The thing is, that hallucinogens produce unusual (understatement) phenomena in their own right, with or without triggering K activity. Much of what you share isn't typical of K awakening nor even NDEs, but wouldn't be unusual for LSD or mushroom trips.

I'm increasingly hesitant to say that something is K awakening as people mean so many things by that. The label can help in that there's so much literature on this, and some of it can be helpful in the sense of reassuring that one is still "on the map" of human experience. So if that helps, then wonderful. But the more pressing questions are practical:
- what makes things worse?
- what makes things better?
- what changes are you noticing within yourself?
- what inner promptings or desires are becoming awakened?
- what do you want to do with your life?
- how does your life relate to God and God's intent for you?

And so forth. Anyone with or without K awakening needs to tend to these kinds of questions, as that's where we find deeper and lasting happiness.

Hi Jason,

Glad you made your way to Shalom Place. I'm sorry to hear things fell apart when your parents divorced. Children suffer so much when their parents split up. It can be a huge faith-destroyer. Many divorced children report feeling aimless and helpless. I have no idea what you experienced, but the fact that you stopped caring about life and turned to mind-altering drugs suggests deep pain and nobody to help you cope with the loss.

I agree with Phil and Bliss in turning your attention to God for answers. Because we do have a loving Father God, healing of our wounds is always part of His plan for our growth.

By the way, I've written on SP about a few out-of-body experiences I've had. During one of those times, I was strongly aware of being surrounded by 2 or 3 beings. They were escorting me back into my body. I did not want to return to my body because the place I was at was so profoundly peaceful and beautiful. I just didn't want to come back. I knew that coming back meant facing terrible suffering in my future. I'm guessing they were guardian angels, both in my case and in yours. As I'm sure you know, Jesus teaches us in Holy scripture that each of us does have a guardian angel. We can thank the Father that we have them to protect us. We also have Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit to teach us how to live. The good news is we have a Lord who knows our needs and can heal and transform our surrendered selves. I suggest you pray to the Lord for His wisdom to guide and heal you. I'll join you in that prayer too.

quote:

Originally posted by InLimbo:
Hey again...I had energy running throughout my body shortly after typing that last response, so I decided to head out for a late-night run. While jogging, I had more time to think about your post, with the perspective of an "amped" and clearer mind from the exercise.

I came to a conclusion about what likely happened in meeting with the "trinity." I believe that I underwent a near-death experience. Upon "leaving" my body, I mentioned I had lost all sense of self. When I was told that it was "not yet my time," I believe that that was my maker letting me know that I was not yet ready to die, and that I had much more to do back on Earth with my lifetime. It's entirely possible that the awakening was SO intense and SO traumatizing - being HUGELY amplified by the hallucinogen use - that I had literally died, if only for a moment.

This may very well be the process of becoming "born again," as Jesus himself spoke of. I have many more details of what occurred before/after the awakening reached this point, but that'd be quite a bit of typing!

This was actually mostly my original interpretation shortly after it had happened, but I guess with years' time my conscious mind was "distorting" that message somewhat. Tonight's revelation actually gave me quite a feeling of peace - for if I've already experienced death itself, what is left to fear?

You've already helped me more than you know...

Your brother in spirit,
-Jason

Hi Jason,
Your experience interests me for a few reasons.
I wrote about my own experiences here and saw some parallels with what you went through.
https://shalomplace.org/eve/for...0765/m/735302724/p/2
This was my introductory post here and from what you are describing there are some similarities to two very different levels of experience and two time periods and philosophies at work in my life at those times.

I began my spiritual Journey with the books of Carlos Castaneda. The Teachings of Don Juan a Yaqui indian "Seer." The teachings began in an effort to open doors of perception by certain excercises and ways of viewing the world in order to "Stop the World." It took a lot of concentrated effort to come to this threshold and when it was accomplished the world that is normal to us is completely changed.

I accomplished this opening of perception and found myself in unfamiliar territory for months before I could get myself somewhat back to normal. At that time I began to look for some kind of philosophy or belief system to help me to make some sense of it all. This led me to the Qabalah and Christianity and a teacher who had experienced a sudden awakening of the Kundalini about 4 years before that.

This experience which Don Juan called stopping the world has been known by many names, but in a nutshell, it is a mixture of becoming aware of another plane or planes and at the same time dealing with our own interpretations of such things as we
have suddenly become aware.
Later in the books of Don Juan he states that this is the entering of the "Sorcerer's World" but that that is not the goal of his teachings at all. But to give Carlos a taste of that other world and then to make him come to realize that that world too was as much an illusion as this world.
The trick of the "Man of Knowledge" or "Seer" was to slip between the worlds of ordinary men and that of sorcerers.

Drugs and fasting and going without sleep and traumatic experiences or systematic methods from various schools of "spiritual" growth, and even mental breakdown can all lead to an experience similar to what Don Juan named "Stopping the World."
It is usually if not always a negative and frightening experience.

To know that there is something beyond this initial experience is a great help.
Noah let a raven out of the window in the ark before he let out a dove.
And when the flood (stopping the world) was over the ark landed upon mountains (a higher state of mind)

What interested me about your experience was the burning that began at your feet and rose up through your body.
I experienced the same thing if you read my post which I linked above.
Now this was years after what I described by "stopping the world" and years after practicing meditation and studying the bible and Qabalah.

My teacher was adamant that the energy came from above and once said that it was like filling a glass of water. It is poured in from above, but it fills up from the bottom.
That was my experience also. And the burning began at my feet and rose.

The source also seemed to fit with My teacher and Gopi Krishna and myself in that we all were doing the same meditation, the Point or Thousand petaled lotus.
Or as Jesus hovering above the place of the skull. Golgotha.
I also was pulled up at great speed and was aware that the lower planes and those things that seemed to mean me harm (including my own thoughts and interpretations) could not touch me there.
But I did not meet with beings of light but became "one with" light and being as if it were an ocean of liquid lightning.

Bob

Once again, I'm SO glad to see all of the feedback here...feels like a family in this place =)

Let me first begin with Phil's last post:
I'll start by saying that i'm VERY glad that you're questioning the authenticity of my "awakening." All too often, you see people that simply accept everything they're told, without "double-checking" the facts. I mentioned that my awakening occurred during my first-ever use of psilocybin. After that first trip, (and here's a testament to my foolish mindset at the time), I DID use mushrooms twice more afterwards. I experienced very strong hallucinogenic effects as powerful as my first trip, even approaching complete psychosis, yet the Kundalini experience had not repeated itself. It was a one-time deal, and has never returned since. I'm thankful for that. I believe that this is evidence that something more than just psilocybin was at work here. It had opened a gateway, of sorts. To answer your questions -

What makes things worse? Exercise would make my anxiety levels SOAR out of control. I had to quit working out for years, until fate brought me to Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate), which was the beginning of the "turning of tides."

What makes things better? Opiates. I went on Suboxone for a number of years, as it was the ONLY thing powerful enough to offer any relief, with the exception of alcohol. I'm lucky to have found the Suboxone, however. My drinking became so heavy that I'd done some serious damage, including losing 4 bottom teeth, 3 of them molars. Also had tons of work done on my other teeth as well. Suboxone kicked alcoholism in the face literally on the first day of using it. Since then, I've treated myself for Endorphin Deficiency via LDN, vitamin C, and Epsom salts, and have recovered from that HORRIFIC, dark, and lonely period of my life.

Changes within yourself? Too many to name. Hallucinations, mood issues, someone calling my name out loud, and the list stretched on forever. However, now that my nutrition is under control and i'm nearly off of my last medication, all of these experiences have served to turn me around for the better. It has showed me the secrets universal love, acceptance, and chronic joy, felt nearly at all times. If the joy disappears, it's certainly due to something I "messed up" on.

Inner desires awakened? The OVERWHELMING desire to help humanity with all that I've learned. That is a guarantee, once I'm fully rehabilitated.

What do you want to do with your life? See the answer above, along with drumming for a band, touring the world, and visiting all of the world's ancient megaliths - the most incredible constructs of all time.

How does your life relate to God? As I said earlier, I'd fully embraced atheism in an attempt to pretend that all that happened wasn't real. I'm sure you can guess how THAT turned out...

However, just today, I received final closure after nearly 10 years of pain, anguish, sorrow, and the flip to rebuilding, rehabilitating, and healing. After undergoing a "reading" via a picture e-mailed to a "reader," (at first I'm thinking he's just another BSer, but I had to remain open-minded, as there's NOTHING that'll surprise me anymore) I was told that this was a female entity from beyond this realm, "working" with me. I now know this to be my deceased grandmother. At age 11, shortly after her death at the hospital, I underwent my first ever vision on the car ride home with my family. I saw her "soul" floating up towards a radiant world of light. I became completely overwhelmed by peace, joy, and absolute ecstasy. Of course I had to hide this from my family, and I was thinking that I was nuts - my grandmother had just died, and i'm experiencing pure, absolute bliss! This lasted nearly the rest of the entire evening, and I never forgot it. The "reader" also included instructions on how to "break" this connection, which he said that I could do at any time I wish, when I feel ready.

When you're only 16 years old, and your parents unexpectedly and suddenly divorce, everything that you thought you knew about life is formatted. All sense of love, security, and foundation is replaced with confusion, abandonment, and rage. My deceased grandmother knew that this would break me as a person, and probably lead to eventual suicide, or something similar. She grabbed ahold of me for the last decade, turned my life around, and saved me.

Just tonight, I spent time in dialogue with her, thanking her for all she'd done. I then let her know that it was time for us to separate, and kindly commanded her to leave, adding that someday I could thank her face-to-face. I felt a "graceful shudder," almost like goosebumps, as she "released" her grip. As if 15 tons of weight was lifted from my shoulders, I regained a spring in my step, a song in my beak, and experienced the same intense bliss as when she had died. I'm "myself" again for the first time since age 18. MIND-BLOWING stuff.

It's now time for me to continue on with my life, as i'm perfectly content with the level of enlightenment I've reached. It's now at JUST the right level to accomplish ALL of the goals that I've always wanted to, and then some. I have an amazing wife, 2 amazing step sons, and a child on the way. If I hadn't undergone this experience myself, I NEVER would have believed that this sort of thing could happen. Just incredible.

quote:

Originally posted by InLimbo:
... I have an amazing wife, 2 amazing step sons, and a child on the way...

Congratulations! Nothing teaches us how to love like becoming a parent. Being a good husband and father is your first and most important 'ministry' to the world.

Hey there Bob May, I really enjoyed your post, and now have a chance to reply.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the "filling of the cup" you speak of, with energy being "poured in" through the head, filling you from the bottom up, and then the feeling of it overflowing and trickling back downward. This seems to make a lot of sense. Thinking back, the start of my awakening included a "lightning strike" feeling at the top of my crown. It was as if this strike pierced my skull, allowing this energy to flow in and fill me. This seems to be a most accurate description of what occurred.

Since commanding Kundalini to back off, and severing the connection with my deceased grandmother, the kundalini energy itself has mostly subsided. However, the change in consciousness arising from the event has stuck with me. It can't be unknown. I know that this is to be used for the greater good of humanity, in demonstrations of extreme, unconditional altruism. I believe awakening experiences such as my own are soon to become more common, and will "advance" humanity to the next level of development. This would certainly help to usher in an era of world peace, or something darn close to it.

And aviela - did you receive my PM? Hope all is well with you