Hi Everyone.

First time posting on here but I wanted to share my thoughts today while they are fresh.

I've been meditating for around 2 years now and this year haven been practicing some Kundalini yoga. Yesterday I attended a class much like I have been to before but after I had some very intense feelings that are still with me now.


After the class I began to feel very irritable, everything felt faster and I was definitely not at ease. I went for some food with my parter and my stress levels and anxiety began to increase. It was as if someone had turned the volume up as everything in the restaurant was amplified. I felt massively sensitive to noise. For the rest of the evening I felt really stressed and anxious and not in control of my emotions and how I was reacting to my environment. My awareness of myself seemed to leave me.
That night I slept very heavily and had a strange dream.... I dreamt that I was driving a car along a motorway somewhere hot, maybe a desert and I could hear this rattling noise. I couldn't work out what it was but eventually realised it was a rattle snake. I was tempted to put my hand down to feel around to find it but knew I could get bitten. I can't remember if it was fear or just curiosity about the snake, it's a little hazy now. But the feeling was that there was something I needed to remove but couldn't I guess. Maybe I was scared.

The dream felt very relevant somehow...

The next day ( today ) I've been feeling really anxious with lots of energy coming from my heart, almost like palpitations. Very sensitive to people and especially my partner. I wasn't a joy to be around in the morning unfortunately.

The good news is that I took a step back today, at my own pace and observed.... Did some nice personal things for myself and slowed the pace right down and the anxious feelings are easing. I still have this anxious energetic feeling in my heart but it's much better and I feel more at ease in myself.

I've recently reconnected with a family member and talked through some past conflicts which has been really good but timing wise it feels linked possibly.

It's very clear today how I felt before and after he class and the feelings have been so powerful and almost out of the blue. I've been feeling out of control almost.

It's a long post but I'd be interested in people Los thoughts as I'm keen to learn about this experience and understand more how I'm feeling.

Peace,

J

Hi Sunny. Welcome to the forum.

Thanks for sharing your experience. When you say you've been "meditating for about 2 years now," can you describe what it is you are doing? That could be helpful.

A rattlesnake is indeed a dangerous animal, and the fact that it was in your car (common symbol of the psyche) seems to be the dream's way of communicating that it has been stirred to life. Of course, rattlesnake venom also has medical uses, and some people enjoy eating rattlesnake meat, so the symbolism isn't completely negative. Snakes are also a common symbol of kundalini, but might have other significance.

How old are you, Sunny? Seems your unconscious is becoming more active, mostly likely from your spiritual practices, but also possibly because of your age.

Hi Phil.

Thanks for those words.

The meditation I've been doing has been mostly a self practice at home consisting of pranayama exercises followed by silent meditation. I've been varying it over time with influences from different teachers I've spent time with. I feel like I've been searching for particular styles that suit me and how I feel. I've delved into some Kum Nye, Ashtanga, Yin and some other types of yoga and haven been trying some kundalini classes this year. I meditate most days ( mostly fairly short periods), perform yoga twice a week ( recently back into a regular class ) and visit other teachers maybe once a month or so depending on how life is going. : )
During the Kindalini classes, other than the specific breathing exercises we have been singing, chanting, moving to some bio energy dances and gong baths. I'm loving all the paths I'm looking at and feeling generally great with it all. This weekend just gone was a shock.
I'm 34 next month Phil.

34 is young, but also approaching the time in life when things begin to change, and the energies of the unconscious begin to emerge. Your meditation and other spiritual practices are hastening this process, which is not a bad thing.

What are you aiming/hoping for in your spiritual practices, Sunny? More aliveness? Wholeness? Connection with God? A religious perspective is usually necessary to keep things in proper focus and prevent one's practice from becoming yet another means for "experiences" and "highs." What religious perspective do you bring to your practices?

My aim.... I guess i started this with an induction into yoga, a long trip through India and a passion for a martial art... I definitely came away from the trip with a different perspective on life and was in need of some healing and awareness. Once i started my practices it made me rethink my whole life... Who i really was inside and where i was going. I had to strip everything back and start again. It's been a constant evolution and one that i'm so grateful i started... I feel like i want to know myself as much as i can and to be a happier human being with a deep connection to everything and everyone around me. It's also helped with a fear of death i had since i could remember.

All in all it's a fantastic journey which has been extremely hard at times and no doubt will be now and in the future, but i'm aware... Well, as aware as i can be right now. : )

You're quite a seeker, Sunny. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, and keep us posted on how it goes.

Thanks Phil.

Peace.