The following is excerpted from an email I sent Phil. He suggested I post it here...

I read your book some time
ago and found it very helpful and reassuring. I
started experiencing what I was told was a "kundalini
reawakening" in 2001. I go through times when the
whole experience seems normal enough or doesn't bother
me. I don't doubt that it's a gift of some sort.
Then there are times like this one when I'm just plain
tired of feeling all of this energy coursing up
through me and out through the top of my head. I just
feel like yelling, "Enough!" or "What's going on?" or
"What do You want me to be doing with all this
energy?" Frankly, it feels a bit isolating. My
friends find it sort of interesting but ultimately
don't know what I'm experiencing. I kind of feel as
if I should be laying hands on the sick. I have
offered to do this a bit and may have helped a peanut
allergic travelling companion not go into anaphalctic
shock last year on a bus in Syria. It's awkward to
offer to lay hands on people, especially those not
inclined to believe in such things. For some reaon,
I'm just feeling a lot of lostness or frustration or,
more like it, overwhelm about all this energy right
now. A couple nights ago, I dreamt that I was in a
pool with some female companions. A snake started
coming after me and leaving everyone else alone. I
got out of the pool and it followed me to the far end
of the pool. By this time, it was enormous,
dragon-sized. I wanted to kill it or destroy it. I
felt threatened by it and asked one of my companions
for help. I may have tried to kill it, first by
hitting it on the head, then by shooting it. I'm not
sure now. Anyway, upon awaking, it was clear to me
that this dream was about my experience with
Kundalini. I write because, at this moment, I don't
want to be so alone with this. By the way, I'm trying
to finish a doctoral dissertation. As I think you know, it is difficult to work
with books in this state. I have to say that I think,
from what I remember of your book, that my kundalini
experience is much less physically painful than yours;
also, I've never seen colors as you described.
Basically, I'd like to know how to use this energy to
help people, if that's what I'm meant to be doing. Do
you have any advice or words of wisdom? As the dream
indicates, some part of me is REALLY tired of this.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read through
this.

(Here's the text of an email I sent Judith in reply. Linda, w.c., Stephen, Sue and others, what do you think?)

I understand your feeling of being tired of this process, and wondering what it's for. That's where some kind of spiritual grounding for it is important, I believe. I'm not exactly sure how to account for the energy per se--a deep energy of the soul, I'm inclined to say, as in the book--but it does seem to conduce toward awakening higher states of consciousness and keeping the subtle body clear of impurities.

Your dream and experience indicate a very unique experience, and that can make one feel rather odd and even out of place. I've found it important to be careful about who I share much with on this issue. Not everyone will understand, and even if they do, I'm not sure they quite know how to relate to it.

There generally are gifts of transformation and service which attend such awakenings as you're describing, only it often takes time to see what those are. You haven't mentioned what your spirituality is like; my ongoing practice is to pray for guidance and to submit the process to the care of the Lord Jesus. I'm convinced that that's kept me sane, and at this time in life, the process is relatively unintrusive and generally pleasant. I'm very glad this has happened to me. I will acknowledge, however, that a poor diet, stress, and other imbalances can bring a most unpleasant experience of the energy, but that's not such a bad thing, really. It helps to keep me straight.

Hiya Phil (and others),
Thanks so much for responding to my cri de kundalini! I thought I'd mention that part of what started the process was receiving blessings from Catholic priests in the Bay Area, one who was my confessor, another who is known for having healing power. This was in 2001 when I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I would feel the energy (Holy Spirit, I guess) go into my head from their hands when they would bless me. I'm not a Roman Catholic but my path did lead me to a very rich experience of worshipping with them for about seven years. Later when I read about the term shaktipat, I realized that this is what these men had inadvertently passed on to me. Another spiritual path that contributed to the awakening of Kundalini was practicing the lessons in the book A Course In Miracles which is based heavily on absolute, radical forgiveness and claims to be a record of the channeled voice of Jesus. Anyway, one thing I've noticed is that when the energy is moving and I say or think something true like: "God is love" or "I forgive so and so," I will experience the kind of full body jolt that I've learned is called a kriya. I'm curious whether anyone else has had this experience. Of course, random kriyas or jolts happen all the time as well. Anyway, maybe i should have made this a new post because i don't want to distract anyone from my original questions--about dealing with this experience and passing this energy along in a healing way--which still very much stand. Thanks again for having this forum. I wish you all peace and joy!

Hi Judith,

When the K energy surges as much as the experiences you're describing, its really important to stay grounded. I found when the K energy was really running wild through me I had to pretty much stop any activity that would aggrevate the energy - though what that means depends on the person. For some, hard exercise is a way to control the flow, but it wasn't for me, because when my body become overheated, the K contributed even more to these heat sensations. Light yoga positions and breathing as a way to try and steady the flow is one method. Another is to limit your spiritual practice - swift prayer, light meditation. Also grounding does mean physical grounding - I literally had to sit down against a big tree trunk, an excellent way to ground, as well as took mud baths (and I was in Manhattan - paying a fortune for pints of mud from Santa Fe that I picked up at at a local health foodstore!)

The good news is wild K subsided, but it can take a long time. The KRN conference where I met Phil years ago featured a small group who talked about their extreme K surges, and some of those folks have been experiencing the electric jolts and wild energy surges for years. That scared the hell of me, so once the energy smoothed out, I've done nothing to try and push pass that because those energy surges were, in fact, hell. Unless I have a spontaneous K rising again, I'm more than happy to accept the spiritual or consciousness limitations imposed by a tamed K.

If I were you, I wouldn't engage in laying on of hands until the energy smooths out for a good period of time, both not to aggrevate the K and also because its unwise to make the assumption that a bunch of energy surging through you is the Holy Spirit, as Phil even writes about in his book. (That is, unless your guidance is so firm otherwise (and confirmed, I would hope, by those you pray with.) Somewhere St. Paul in the New Testament sounds a warning about using discernment in laying on of hands, so given your situation, I'd be really cautious. The gift of healing is an incredible charisma, but the point of the passage is that the person who is Christ's co-worker has to protect themselves as well. (I wish I could find the passage, perhaps someone else will supply.)

I may be making a leap here, but if you had chronic fatigue syndrome as you wrote and were attending healing services, etc., I assume you were praying for physical healing - and your prayers were answered big time, because here you are, overwhelmed with energy. A wise priest once told me to keep sending my energy back to God when it got overwhelming, based on something he knew of St Francis. Apparently, St Francis may have also been struggling with some K surges - he prayed, by lifting his eyes to heaven and folding his hands, "Lord, thou hast sent thy comfort and sweetness from heaven to me, an unworthy sinner. I give them back to Thee again, that thou mayest keep them for me!"

Blessings and peace be with you.

Also, one last thought after reading your posts again, if you're doing a lot of reading and writing as part of your doctoral thesis, I recommend making sure you've got something in your stomach before taking on any big intellectual tasks. A K expert passed that along to me when I complained about energy surges, since my work requires both and lots of head energy concentration. The K could get really uncomfortable. He also recommended taking plenty of breaks to stretch and walk and make sure the energy was moving around through my body. Apparently, having something in your stomach helps keep the K a bit balanced because energy is required by your digestive track at the same time that your mental body is at work.

Dear Linda,
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response. I love the St. Francis anecdote! Gonna go fill my stomach before moving forward with the dissertation; good advice! (By the way, I have no doubt the energy moving through me is healing and loving, if a bit rambunctious sometimes!) Though the energy has not abated (at all) I'm not in the same place of emotional and psychological overwhelm that prompted my original post, thank God. However, it did provide the benefit of getting me in touch with all of you. Wishing you and all other members of this discussion deep peace and joy.
Love,
Judith

Hi Judith!

Certain aspects of your first post struck a chord with me, in particular the dream you described. Very similar to one I had at the start of my K awakening! There was a pool and a snake and some friends, but in my case the snake rose up at me from the waters as I tried to cross a bridge. The waters were murky, indicating blockages in my lower chakras and the movement of the snake was swift.
When I found out what was going on, I had ideas about using the energy to heal and such. I thought I had been given a special gift that could be used profitably to heal others. Indeed, as my ego hadn't quite adapted to the ongoing process I began to wonder if I were not a bit special and had been chosen to perform great acts of healing myself. Thankfully, this delusion didn't last long and I was able to deal with the process without turning into some self proclaimed guru.

I did get involved in laying on of hands type things albeit in a non-Christian context. Still thinking the Kundalini was a special healing gift, I was fascinated by what was happening. Looking back on it now however, I can see how confused and even dangerous it all was. Rather than giving me special healing powers, the K made me very vulnerable to other people's energies. The laying on of hands seemed to muddle everybody's energies up. Sometimes I was a total hotch potch of energy. I know Christian healing claims to be Spirit derived. I have my doubts about this having suffered terribly after a slaying in the Spirit experience. A lot of the hands on healing I have dealt out or received has only resulted in a confusing mess of energy!

One thing though! After the energy settles down, I believe it refines and focuses the God given talents we all have. I'm sure you are aware of your gifts and I believe that the Kun puts them through a refining process and that you will be able to integrate them more creatively into your life if you haven't done so already. I have been able to focus my creative gifts, which, pre-Kundalini, were wild and out of control, and integrate them into my working and church life.

The thing about using nature to calm the energy when its at its most rampant is so true! Long walks in the countryside really helped me. Wasn't so much into heavy manual work. Never have been , never will be!!

God bless,

Stephen.

PS - Linda, were you referring to 1 Timothy 5:22. I wonder if "the laying on of hands hastily" mixes up the energies and causes us to share in the sins inherent in the energy of others. Maybe there is no connection. But it does say "Keep yourself pure" - energetically and morally, perhaps.

Stephen, you made very good points in your post.

And thanks for finding that passage (I combed through the Bible this afternoon and couldn't locate it.) "Do not lay hands on hastily, and do not participate in the sins of others, keep yourself pure." 1Timothy5-22. Some versions say "Do not ordain hastily. etc...." but I've both read and heard that passage referred to in terms of exercising caution about laying on of hands.

Judith,

Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps
so much to relieve the isolation of going through this thing. Noone in my Centering Prayer groups is having anything like the k I have been having.
I have had Chronic Fatigue syndrome for almost 11 years and the k for almost 4 now. I went to a someone who has done biofeedback/accupuncture /chropractic work for 30 years and he measured the energy in my meridians and ran it through a Program
a Japanese Scientist came up with to measuere k .

He asked me if I were an athlete and said that I was running twice the energy of an average person. He said I would "crash" very hard and I have had extreme fatigue from the k for two years
now. It becomes difficult to concentrate or perform even simple tasks. Other times the energy
runs high and I can stay up for 20 hours thinking.

Kirya is a new word to me, but I know that feeling. When I think a certain thought the energy
sometimes will radiate through half my body. I don't know that I have the REAL k yet, because most of the energy occurs in my upper body. It does not begin at the base of my spine.

Nice to find a way to speak of this without those men in white coats coming.Oh, that must be them at the door...lol thank you <*))))>< michael

Michael, welcome!

It's not often one finds others who understand this experience, so I'm happy to have you join the discussions. I hope we can all learn something from one another.

Judith, keep us posted on how you're doing.

Shalom. Phil