Get thee to a nunnery! http://www.tenzinpalmo.com

Twelve years in a cave? You're a better man than I, Ani!

Cave in the Snow is a wonderful story of Tibetan Buddhism's leading spiritual feminist warrior. I like her style:

"Our mind is so untamed, out of control, constantly creating memories, prejudices, mental commentaries. It's like a riot act for most people! Anarchy within. We have no way of choosing how to think and the emotions engulf us. Meditation is where you begin to calm the storm, to cease the neverending chattering of the mind. Once that is achieved, you can access the deeper levels of consciousness which exist beyond the surface noise. Along with that comes the gradual disidentification with our thoughts and emotions. You see their transparent nature and no longer totally believe in them. This creates inner harmony which you can bring into your everyday life"

There, that should save you about $3,000 in meditation classes.

snowlion.com