Brad, maybe it's time to be a Cardinals fan. Of course, as Anne will vouch for, it's been a long while since they've had a winner--sometimes during the early 80's, I think.

Terri, one thing I'm sure of is that those girls will always remember that trip! And with all those young ones still around, sounds like a good little team for the next few years.

BTW, I've added your name as a Moderator for a few of the forums. Thanks for agreeing to help out.

Phil

Terri,

I enjoyed reading your post. Thanks for sharing. Maybe we should make a big sign that says:

CHILDREN WERE NOT PLACED ON THIS EARTH IN ORDER TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS LOOK GOOD!!

Whattaya think?

Anne

Anne

Talking of gifts and how we tend to feel inferior/superior to others when we compare ourselves to them, many thoughts come to mind.

There is a prayer called 'Desiderata' which gives general guidelines about happy living, including the problem you were referring to - gifts and comparison.

Ken Wilber talks about why animals don't suffer from superiority/inferiority complexes like we do. For example he says the animals would begin to do that if for example the rabbit tried to fly. Moral of the story being that God has given each one of us different talents and as long as we concentrate on developing what He has given us, without trying to develop somebody else's talents in us, then we are going to be too busy to have time making comparisons.

I don't know if it St. Theresa of Avila/St. Theresa of Lisieux who talks about us feeling content when God fills us fully. A thimble is just as happy and just as full as a pitcher when it is full, although a thimble holds much less water.

One of the saints mentioned above also uses the example of the flowers. God made the lilies, roses and dandelions. A lily could end up being very miserable if it wanted to be as red as the rose or as tiny as a dandelion.

We are all unique manifestations of God, non-repeatable in the history of mankind. As far as our achievements go, the whole thing is very relative isn't it? Einstein the genius said of his knowledge that he felt it was like picking grains of sand on the beach, and he wasn't being falsely modest too! It takes a hell of a lot of knowledge to know how little we really know, how littel knowledge we CAN really acquire in a lifetime even with the intelligence of an Einstein. Before God, the source of all knowledge, the most intelligent man will look like a fool, our greatest works of achievement will seem like trash, and we will truly acquire the modesty of Einstein.

As somebody wrote : When you go up to heaven, God is not going to ask you : Why weren't you Moses, Brad Nelson or Philip St. Romain, but why you didn't become more of the Anne He meant you to be. Becoming the best Anne you can possibly be out of love for Him, is the only gift you can make to God and that is ultimately the only gift He wants from us.

DESIDERATA

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantement, it is as perrenial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

********************************************

Good morning all

Phil, yes, I do believe our softball girls will remember this trip for a very long time and there are some good players on there. My daughter will move up to the next age bracket next year so I'm hoping they'll be able to have a team...this year there wasn't enough of them to have an older team so we'll see . And thanks for asking me to be around on those other forums!

Anne, you just might have an idea there..LOL! Maybe we could make a fortune off a bumper sticker!!

SJ, that was a really neat post. I liked what you had to say and I've always loved Desiderata. Thanks a lot!

SJ,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I loved the analogy of the thimble and the pitcher. And I haven't heard/read the Desiderata in a long time! It was popular when I was in college...I think it was written on a poster that could be found on lots of dorm room walls back in the 70's.

I think I'll print out both of your posts and put them in my file of affirmations. Thanks again for taking time to share.

Anne

quote:

Originally posted by Anne:
[qb]
CHILDREN WERE NOT PLACED ON THIS EARTH IN ORDER TO MAKE THEIR PARENTS LOOK GOOD!!

Whattaya think?[/qb]

Great saying! And yes, by all means, go for the bumper sticker. But know that since you've posted it on this discussion board, it is my intellectual property, so I get all proceeds (heh heh heh )

Just teasing, of course! Actually, DO go for it! It doesn't cost much to have a bumper sticker made.

I'm not so concerned that parents know this truth as that children can shake it off. Of course, the constant pressure to conform to a parent's "agenda" for them is a common source of stress for children, especially when this is "enforced" by shaming behaviors.

For parents to learn this lesson, however, they'd need to have "a life" of their own, and not live vicariously through their children. That often seems to be the problem, don't you think?

Phil

This is part of a review of the movie "American Beauty" which is a favorite of mine. This review was written by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. I read it on that Spirituality and Health website that jb directed us to. I really enjoy reading this review, it always inspires me and helps me to keep things in perspective.

From the review:

In one of the film's most exquisite moments, Ricky shows Jane his favorite video of a white plastic bag dancing in the wind. The scene's simplicity and poignancy brings to mind Sister Wendy Beckett's observation: "The eye that sees nobility and beauty in what another would regard as ordinary is the eye of prayer." Yes, we are living in enchantment and yet we miss so much of it. Why? Perhaps because we're like Angela, who remarks, "I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary." (end of quote)

I think that when parents live vicariously through their children it's just another way of trying NOT to be ordinary. In other words....I may be ordinary, but, by God,my kids WON'T BE!!

Anne

OH OH OH...that's one of my FAVORITE movies!! And yes! I'd agree with not only the review, but your application of it to parents and the vicarious living. (Did it strike you that all the characters in the movie were more or less a caricature of the many facets of each of us?)

That makes me think of a statement a friend of mine made once. He said that it always amazed him to look around at people trying to be different when the real key was that we already ARE different, it's just that some folks realize it while others do not. And the ones who realize it are usually the ones who project their own uniqueness without even being aware of it. Pretty bright kid, I thought