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Never mind. I have resolved this issue.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: unhindered,

It's very hard to diagnose someone without seeing him and talking to him for sometime. I usually diagnose and qualify patients for psychotherapy after 3-4 meetings and a solid interview. But what you describe doesn't sound to me like the DID at all. What is central to DID is that one part of personality is not aware and doesn't remember other parts. For example, one can be a nice, hardworking guy in one part, and an agressive, partying, drinking guy in another part. But when he's in the "nice" personality he isn't aware at all that he's being aggressive or driking at other times. You have memories of those changing states of mind which precludes the authentic DID. But it seems to me like a possible identity disorder, namely, "identity diffusion" that can be part of various personality disorders. It is the lack of consistent and lasting convictions, values, usually accompanied by a difficulty of maintaining a job, a relationship or a peer group (have you experienced anything of that?). Identity diffusion manifests also through a kind of "here and now" way of life, but in the sense of drifting wherever temporary feelings and desires lead a person.

What you say about those "dialogues" in your head also sounds alarming, possibly indicating personality disorder (perhaps, borderline personality disorder).

All of this can be treated by psychotherapy (for example, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy or Transference Focused Psychotherapy, or Mentalization Based Therapy - those are refunded in the States, or at least, so I hear). Maybe it's a good idea to see someone proficient in those methods of therapy to formulate a diagnosis and suggest to you some treatment options?

Very helpful post, Mt. Thanks for your feedback to "unhindered." Psychological healing can certainly go hand-in-hand with spiritual growth, and is often a pre-requisite.

I've resolved the issue I posted about. All I have to do seek is God's kingdom and the rest of the stuff will fall into place and doesn't really matter. My mind however gets overly excited and in pursuit of understanding formulates a plethora of possibilities--all of which could not possibly be true.

I have found that many psycho-spiritual things such as kundalini, chakras, and even psychological disorder are merely constructs we've formed with our limited 3rd dimensional understanding of things. Which isn't to say they are wrong but there are also other perspectives out there that are much different and make a lot of sense too.

The only thing that matters is pursuing a relationship with God through Jesus and following His commands (the chief one being Love). When I do this everything else falls into place.

I have decided, once again, to stop all research on Kundalini with the exception of this forum. Opening myself up to eastern ideas is not good for me.

Sorry i couldn't figure out how to deleted.

Thank you MT for your response. I apologize for not acknowledging it.

I've studied psychology quite a bit. I was actually diagnosed with A.S.D (or Aspergers this year).

I have an ability to dive head first into an area of interest and I can spend hundreds of hours within just a few weeks becoming acquainted with a topic. Most of my pursuits have been philosophical, psychological, and spiritual. When it comes to understanding myself through the lens of secular psychology and a possible disorder I trust myself above anyone.

Psychiatrists/psychologists do not understand spiritual things (at least the ones i have access to). My current psych is an atheist. She is aware that I experience mystical things but she, in her A.S.D diagnosis listed my special interest as being "spirituality" --and she understands that in meditation and in pursuit of "God" that one experiences mystical things. Which I am thankful for. She is not at all familiar with Kundalini syndrome and if I brought it up to her I fear that by sharing person details of my experiences--her atheist brain--will doubt her diagnosis and consider something like bipolar--which i am absolutely positive I do not have.

I am more aware now than ever that we are in a spiritual war fighting against dark powers, principalities, spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6) and my perception and my perspective is so heavily influenced by warfare--were all in one delusion or another--the greatest thing I have learned is not to trust my direct perception of things--which many times feels real--feels true--but the only thing that is "True" is the Word of God. The more I read it and stay in fellowship with the Holy Spirit the more lies are exposed.

If it wasn't for God's grace on my life--if I did not have him-- I do believe I'd probably have some form of psych disorder -- As I pursue God he heals my emotions. I struggled with pride for awhile for example...perhaps I could have been diagnosed with narcissism at one point--who knows. When I humbled myself not just before God--but when I humbled myself before other people in my heart--considering myself less--it broke off me.

I find that as I seek God everything works out.

But I am committed to pursuing God and trust that whatever comes my way--what ever obstacle--he will put me back on course. And he did--when I humbled myself not just before him but before my brothers in Christ and all men. It's funny because its like the lower I go in humility the more amazing mystical things I experience--which--if I am not careful can pull me out of humility and place me in a very strong pride.

I am rambling. lol

My point is psychological diagnosis' I've already been down that road and they are not for me. What I mentioned--has a spiritual component to it as well--which is why it was something I was considering.

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When it comes to understanding myself through the lens of secular psychology and a possible disorder I trust myself above anyone.

That might not be the wisest approach, unhindered, as some psychopathologies mask or even distort one's own insights. For example, I have a family member who lives on the manic side of bipolar disorder, and his insights into self are decidedly inflated. Same goes for narcissists. Others -- especially professionals -- can often see things about us that we cannot see in ourselves (e.g., Johari Window blind side), and it doesn't matter much whether they're atheist or not. What matters more is their professional training and honesty.

As for counselors not understanding spiritual things -- Mt would surely be an exception.

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It's funny because its like the lower I go in humility the more amazing mystical things I experience--which--if I am not careful can pull me out of humility and place me in a very strong pride.

You sound like you've got a lot of faith and trust in God, which is wonderful. Spiritual direction can help to support this, and help to safeguard against pride. I recommend this for everyone on the spiritual journey.