Greetings! First, I am new to online discussions, etc. I am a United Methodist pastor in eastern WV who is exploring a call towards beging a spiritual director involved at present in a Certification Program in Spiritual Formation through a Presbyterain seminary. I am also presently seeking a Spiritual Director and will be meeting shortly with a Cistercian monk from a nearby abbey. My question is this: how does one discern, decide on whether or not this is the spiritual director one needs?

Welcome, Pastor Roy.

Sometimes you can do a "pre-sorting" of appropriate spiritual directors before you begin meeting to determine which one(s) have an interest and expertise in an area important to your spirituality (e.g., centering prayer, 12 Steps, etc.). This presupposes obtaining a bio of some kind for available directors -- not always possible, I know.

I also tell those who meet with me that we ought to meet at least three or four times before deciding if it's a good fit. We can then decide what's working and what's not and whether we'd like to continue. For example, a man I've been meeting with early on told me after three session that he wanted to continue, but would like more time for prayer and listening during the sessions, and that was fine with me. There have been a few times when I've been the one to request that the person come better prepared, and even some where I didn't think we were a good match (I referred to someone else). So, in answer to your question, it's difficult to know if you're with a compatible and helpful spiritual director without actually meeting with a person to see how it goes.