Thank you Terri, JB and Phil for your responses. I wish to thank Wanda for sharing her insights on this very difficult issue of being understood and misunderstood. I wanted to add to that by throwing in a couple of insights suggested by others.

The steps to follow:

Make I statements.

I felt/feel ....x.... when you say/write ....y....

Would you please clarify what you really mean?

I would feel ...z.... if you said /wrote....a...instead.

This method supposedly gives the 'offending party' a chance to give more clarification and gives the 'offended party' a chance to express how she/he would like to be treated, in case the 'offending party' has overlooked it in a moment of emotional over-reaction for whatever reason. Thus the 'offending party' gets the opportunity to express a difference of opinion in a way that does not offend the other and the 'offended party' gets the opportunity to understand a difference of opionion without interpreting it as a personal attack.

I suppose that all the collateral damage done to false egos and illusions is the price we have to pay in getting to know other human beings as they are in their uniqueness if we would like to be enriched by our contact with them.