How Wide Is Your Moat? - our holistic moat

The mutual fund industry has popularized the moat metaphor, a moat being that deep and wide trench around the rampart of a castle , that is usually filled with water. There are even pinball games, like Medieval Madness , in which players use different strategies to breach the castle�s defenses, such as the moat, the drawbridge, the gate, the wall. Sometimes the madness is not so medieval but very much contemporary, within our own psychological castle walls.

I have often thought of the analogy of the moat in other than economic terms. It might also be a useful image in considering a person�s general well being , notwithstanding your 401K might now look more like a 201K.

Like a castle with its multiple layers of defenses, one�s general well being is also bolstered by its own moats and walls and gatekeepers and can be breached by many different types of attacks.

There are times in our lives when we know our well being will have to do battle, when we need to both widen and deepen our psychological moats and pull up the drawbridges of our physical ramparts. The size of such bulwarks must be determined by many factors.

Let�s consider some examples of the types of battles we must all fight and of the kinds of defenses we might need to put in place to fortify our general well being.

When we are healthy, physically, emotionally and mentally, and under no significant stress, in other words are not under attack physically or psychologically, the size of our holistic moat doesn�t matter much, seemingly. I�m going to call this moat the holistic moat because its depth and width is determined by many factors which, I will argue, all need to be considered as a whole. Ignore any given factor and our defenses will be breached , which is to suggest that sometimes we don�t have a very wide margin of error to work with because our moat is both shallow and narrow.

What are some of the things that fill up our moat and seriously jeopardize our castle of well being?

Well, certainly anything which can affect us emotionally, such as trauma due to grief, terror or physical injury, such as chronic or acute illness, addictions, broken relationships, financial difficulty, employment and career setbacks, academic and professional failure, damage to one�s reputation whether unjust or from a personal failure, and so forth. The effects of aging or of a chronic debilitating illness, the propensity toward chemical imbalances of neurotransmitters, and other insults to our general well being, all of these things and more, can lower our defenses and increase our vulnerabilities to where we spiral down into near or total dysfunction and immobilization.

The return to any normalcy and full functionality can be difficult, near impossible. In such desperation, we can approach the point where we even lose the will to go on, despite our loved ones, and, assuredly, when the blessings of those relationships no longer weigh heavily enough in the balance against the pain of a truly tormented existence, the castle has been most seriously breached; our physical well being drawbridge is down; our emotional gate has been battered; our mental gatekeeper defeated. Our spirit has thus retreated to the most inner recesses of our being and, though still sharing immanently with its Beloved in these innermost chambers, there is no felt sense of communion, neither with God nor with the castle cohort, that indwelling and abiding relating to family and friends, and most definitely not with the outer world of strangers.

What are some of the kinds of defenses we might need to put in place to fortify our general well being?

When our moat is narrowed and shallowed by any of the insults to our well being we have considered, we have no room to maneuver and have little margin of error. We cannot afford any mistakes and must move aggressively on all fronts. If one�s castle is especially vulnerable, either chronically or acutely, one cannot take a casual approach to defending the castle. One must proactively work to widen the moat! Like the Corps of Engineers on the Mississippi River, one must continuously dredge because the silt is being deposited 24/365 when we suffer from chemical imbalances or are otherwise in the midst of trauma, grief, anxiety or depression.

Physically, we cannot afford to miss out on proper diet, sufficient rest and good exercise. Our diet must be substantial and routine and not made up of the four mainstays of the 4 Cajun Foodgroups , which are sugar, salt, fat and alcohol . Rest and exercise are essential, too, for manifold reasons documented elsewhere. Medically , we must seek out pharmaceutical aids to help us through the acute phase of any substantial psychological crises with antidepressants or antianxiety prescriptions and maybe even sleep-aids. Emotionally , we must force ourselves to interact with family and friends, with outdoors and nature, acting ourselves into a new way of thinking , unable to think ourseleves into a new way of acting. Mentally , we may need ongoing psychological counseling and, perhaps, even that in combination with specialized trauma counseling or social welfare assistance and counseling. Specialized support groups can be most efficacious in assisting and advising on all of the fronts under consideration here and can be an emotional lifeline. They can also make us feel a little less alone by being in the empathetic company of others who don�t know and will never know your tears but who have cried tears for similar reasons. We should seek to stimulate and enrich our minds with good reading materials, uplifting movies and music, and engaging hobbies. Spiritually , we may need spiritual direction, either formally or informally, with a director-directee relationship, or in a spiritual companioning mode with a fellow pilgrim with whom we may share a special spiritual kinship. The life of prayer, no matter how arid or desolate, must be maintained with perseverance and discipline, privately and communally, perhaps augmented by small group participation but most definitely sharing as well in at-large community worship services.

Ideally, one can likely not implement the entire holistic regimen because the very exigencies and contingencies of life, which press in on us and lower our defenses, such as employment and parenting responsibilities, such as financial and physical constraints, also get in our way during the rebuilding efforts. However, one must aggressively and vigilantly attend to all of the factors within one�s means and to the fullest extent possible, notwithstanding constraints on one's time and resources, and make these efforts a priority, because spiralling down to the lowest ebb of life will most assuredly defeat everything else one is trying to accomplish and deprive one of the vibrancy in one's relationships, with God and others, that makes anything else worthwhile.

Our road to healing must be holistic and I emphasize this multifaceted approach because I have seen healing stratgeies sabotaged by approaches that don�t take the whole castle into account. What good is it to deepen or widen a moat if one leaves the drawbridge down?

The attempt to make it through significant crises only pharmaceutically can backfire and bring on even more substance abuse. The temptation to self-medicate with over the counter stimulants or sedatives can simiarly cause problems. To take pills but not eat and rest properly is self-defeating. Confusing psychological counseling and spiritual direction can be a problem; they are distinctly different enterprises, however related. If one�s castle is especially vulnerable, either chronically or acutely, one cannot take a casual approach to defending the castle. One must proactively widen the moat!

Neglect of one�s spiritual life, in my opinion, represents the first shallowing of the holistic moat because the spiritual life, a life of prayer, is the climbing into the watchtower of our castle, lifting our hearts and minds to God, aligning our wills with His, and, whereby through ongoing self-examen and discernment, we can vigilantly gaze out over all of our defenses and remain on guard for those attacks that no castle avoids. All of this we do as we await that Kingdom which is to come while living as safely as we can within that one which is already within us but constantly under siege.

It may be, that what I have outlined above can be viewed not merely as a defensive maneuver against life, but rather as one's offensive strategy for looking to make one's mark on the world. These are the very same things I'd suggest as New Year's Resolutions, to anyone serious about deepening their relationship with God or their relationships with loved ones, to anyone interested in advancing on one's academic or career path, etc There is a great unity of purpose in the spiritual life, to a holistically informed lifestyle. When God is first in our lives, everything else falls into place and we will be about the same tasks in life whether our castle is under siege or not. Mark my words, however, it is best not to wait.

Love,
jb

These fruits grew on the vines which were planted in the grounds of the deep suffering of those whom I have counseled, grounds watered with my own tears, too. We have touched each other. We have grown.

Take that, Dr. Brothers!

Very good post, JB, and I totally concur.

Although I am a staunch supporter of many types of therapy, I've also got to admit that I've never seen any of them accomplish very much good in the long run if the spirituality dimension is neglected. Twelve Step approaches, otoh, seem to be more efficacious precisely because they integrate the spiritual into the rehabilitative process.

It was interesting following the journey of Anne Wilson Schaef a few years ago. She was a conventional psychotherapist who went into addiction treatment to help family members, only to discover her own addictions in the process. She wrote several best-selling books on Codependency related topics, eventually deciding that psychotherapy as she had learned and practiced it was merely enabling people in their dysfunction. She came to renounce her profession and now advocates a more spiritual-based approach to healing. You can read all about it in her book, Beyond Therapy, Beyond Science: A New Approach to Healing (or something like that). Naturally, she caught a lot of flak for it, but I think she's right on in her basic insights. I also do still believe that traditional psychotherapy can do a lot of good when working in tandem with spiritual practice.

My long affiliation with the Brightspot for Health first as their patient, then as their webmaster (until two years ago) also convinced me of the importance of caring for one's biochemistry. Spirituality has a profound influence on biochemistry, but there is a strong case to be made for knowing one's allergies, checking one's vitamin absorption levels, taking anti-oxidants, etc. This has made an enormous difference in my energy level and overall health; same for the rest of our family. We are so fortunate to have a place only two miles away! I strongly recommend that all who read this search for similar places in your area; if you can't find one, come to Wichita and visit Brightspot. It'll give us a good excuse to visit in person.

Neglect of one�s spiritual life, in my opinion, represents the first shallowing of the holistic moat

As someone who has struggled with much of what you talk about let me say a few things:

You and I might disagree on exactly how to address filling this spiritual life but I do think you�ve got the hierarchy correct. You mention a holist approach and I agree with that. You mention some clearly behavioral aspects including �acting ourselves into a new way of thinking� (which I think is brilliant) and with which I agree and have had some success at times. But I believe, perhaps like you do, that there is a spiritual aspect to this on which all other things depend. For some this spirituality may be addressed by a belief in God. For others it might be finding some small things in life that bring them joy, quietude or simply (healthily) eases the pain. But the bottom line, at least in my opinion, is that we can do all this behavioral stuff, and while it can be of help, it can easily become a matter of �going through the motions� if not embedded into some larger scheme or framework. That framework may be as simple as the idea of hope.

To illustrate my point I�d like to take a brief look at depression. First off, the brain is a chemical factory and can, like any other complex system, get out of whack. That is, I do not deny in the least that drugs can help certain people who may struggle with depression. A chemical imbalance may BE their problem. But I think we all too often reach for pharmaceutical cures to our problems when the root of them is elsewhere. I have found the willpower and strength at times to do exactly the behavioral things that JB has suggested � eating better, expanding one�s activities, friends, etc. But inevitably I hit a sort of wall. All this stuff may make me feel better, give me more energy, etc., but there is no logical place or framework for this energy.

A very important point that JB made is: �all of these things and more, can lower our defenses and increase our vulnerabilities to where we spiral down into near or total dysfunction and immobilization.� I can very much relate to this paradigm. We need at least as much going INTO our lives as goes out of them (our worries, irrationalities, and real problems all seem to take things out of us) so as to create some sort of homeostasis. But let�s face it, like it or not, we all have some kind of homeostasis or equilibrium, but often it is based primarily on pain avoidance. I might say that what causes this downward spiral, this self-reinforcing cycle that can bring us down, is not the physical things in our lives. Goodness know we all know of people or have read about those who have undergone true physical hardships but seem to keep an even keel and positive outlook on life. I think the wall that I hit, the true cause of a downward spiral has a spiritual source. But I wouldn�t want to collapse the spiritual component into a belief in God � not right away at least. I think we must first take a good look at ourselves and our expectations.

I know the wall that I hit is a wall of expectations and hope. And since I believe that hope is at the core of spirituality it can be disrupted. Hope tied to too high of expectations is self-defeating. I think we all have to, at some point, just take a look around and accept our reality, our moat�s depth or breadth, just as it is. This is far easier said then done and for some reason (Phil knows of my stubbornness) it is near impossible for me to do. But this intuitive idea is probably the one thing that brings me to Shalom Place in the first place.

Good post, Brad. I'm tied up much of the afternoon and evening, but will get back to you on it. I very much agree with your point about hope being at the core of a spirituality, and that this need not be tied to an explicit religious system of beliefs, so there's a sneak preview of what is to come.

Anyone else want to address the relationship between religious beliefs and spirituality? It's a good topic.

Yes, Brad, what an excellent point. I'm sure Phil will resonate with me at the excitement of first discovering Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning and the concept of logotherapy . I think you articulated his central premise: A person with a why to live can handle almost any how . This speaks strongly to the element of hope and comes from a voice made even more authoritative and credible by his own suffering in the Nazi death camps.

I look forward to Phil's amplification and additional teaching.

peace, this day
jb

I also look forward to Phil's amplification. But I can't let a good line from my favorite straight man go by without comment:

JB said: logotherapy

I've created a few of those things in my time. And it is good therapy to be creative. But somehow I picture myself lying on a shrink's couch covered with a multitude of paper cut-out logos while chants such as "You can trust your car to the man who wears the star" ring therapeutically in my ears.

Speaking of creativity, ever tried origami with jello?

Ho man, I'd better jump in before this gets *really* bad!

I don't have a "teaching" to offer, only a few observations. One is that it seems to me that everyone has a spirituality in the sense of something/someone they look to for meaning and ecstatic experience. So the question isn't are we into spirituality, but *what* is one's spirituality? For some it's work, others family, and it can even be addictive involvement. Saying we have a spirituality simply recognizes that we're spiritual beings: i.e., not fully explained/exhausted by our biological processes, and ever with an eye out for fulfillment in and through something greater than ourselves to give our lives a sense of meaning. Without this meaning, there is little hope, and without hope, not much joy in living. Unfortunately, I think many, many people have deep struggles with the issue of hope/meaning, and so they seek pleasure as a substitute for joy, which is really a spiritual kind of emotion (the "ananda" of Hinduism/Buddhism).

Obviously, then, one can be into spirituality without religion, but what religion attempts to do is to form those spiritual longing in a certain manner according to the teachings of a religious founder or, in the case of Hinduism, a more communal synthesis. This founder, in turn, epitomizes a fulfillment of spirituality, and usually communicates a "way" in which others may come to know what he has known. The founder even makes himself available in this life and the next to assist in this process. So you might say that religion speaks a word of content and process to our hunger for meaning and transcendence.

One other possibility is that some could be in the "business" of religion without really developing its relevance to spirituality. Here we would see religion deteriorating into dogmatism, ritualism, moralism, and authoritarianism, all of which are perversions of religious dogma, ritual, morality and authority. It's because so many have experienced religion in terms of these isms that they've blown it off as being irrelevant. Still, they go on searching for ways to satisfy their spiritual longings, but I don't think this goes very well for very long without some kind of religious tradition to form one's spiritual longings and lead them to fulfillment. A common alternative in this day is Twelve Step groups or New Age syncretisms, but I don't think these work very well either apart from an authentic religious tradition.

That's a pretty good "meaning of life" post, Phil. Thanks.

re: A common alternative in this day is Twelve Step groups or New Age syncretisms, but I don't think these work very well either apart from an authentic religious tradition.

And the tradition, in its mythic elements, its narratives and story-telling, attempts to evoke an appropriate response to ultimate reality using both elements that are and are not literally true. Discerning which are literally true or not takes some sorting out. Fundamentalism represents a failure to attempt this sorting out, in any tradition.

It is in the process of sorting through Christianity's metaphysics that I discovered those elements which seemed to be literally true and which were shared with the world of science, such as critical realism, an epistemology of alternating conjecture and criticism, of verification and falsification and the self-critiquing openness to having one's religion exposed to the rigors of science --- historically, archaeologically, exegetically and otherwise --- ensuring that that which was demonstrable in principle was empirically demonstrated evidentiarily, and that that which was occulted, in principle, still hung together in a manner that was consistent, coherent, congruent, consilient and consonant in the most compelling manner available.

When a tradition's ontology and epistemology and metaphysics and philosophy of science gift it with such a modeling power that truly model's reality's rules though not completely explaining them, there one gains the confident assurance in things hoped for and the conviction about things unseen. Such things retain the element of hope because they aren't yet in possession and truly remain unseen. They also impart a level of assurance and a measure of conviction because of the manner in which they hang together and infuse meaning, not always telling us exactly what we want to hear --- thus lending a certain amount of credibility Thus we choose carefully where and under what conditions we surrender to mystery, knowing it will always honor our freedom and our quest for intellectual honesty and integrity. Any other beckoning is not authentic and borders on the most shallow fideism or the most insidious rationalism, both making claims that stretch our credulity and dilute the modeling power of faith in partnership with reason. I don't know where I am going, ultimately, but I'm certainly going to climb into that vehicle which appears to have the most modeling horsepower. That is the certainty that is afforded and no other.

pax,
jb

quote:

I don't know where I am going, ultimately, but I'm certainly going to climb into that vehicle which appears to have the most modeling horsepower. That is the certainty that is afforded and no other.

Well, there you go! Or, "that's what I'm talkin' about," as Will Smith (and my son) likes to say.

And if in doing so it turns out that the experiences I perceive to be of God, and the joys which come from this experience all turn out in the end to be naught, with death bringing only dissolution of my energy into the cosmos with no survival of my individuality anywhere to be found, then I shall nontheless have lived as well--better!--than those who do not believe so, and who suffer the same fate.

(Pascal smiles approvingly! )

And if in doing so it turns out that the experiences I perceive to be of God, and the joys which come from this experience all turn out in the end to be naught, with death bringing only dissolution of my energy into the cosmos with no survival of my individuality anywhere to be found, then I shall nontheless have lived as well--better!- -than those who do not believe so, and who suffer the same fate.

Unless one is talking about the effects of a pleasant delusion, then one has to wonder about the obvious effects that a spiritual life has on some people. Perhaps they are collapsing all the right probability waves in just the right order in order to produce this affect. But even then, if one says that they are creating their reality does that not say something about reality itself as the creation of mind? And then one thinks of the mind that created us. (My brain hurts.)

Still, I seriously doubt any of us can feel too secure about being absolutely right about any of this. And, at least to me, it seems that you supposedly whacko Christians (at least here at SP) are the ones who express a healthy respect for not needing or professing to know absolutely how things really are and who leave much room for a healthy respect for the unknown. I think if Sagan were alive today he would just freak out at that comment.

Excellentorama (still working up to your rhyme thread ).

I don't think Sagan ever knew any kind of Christianity other than fundamentalism, nor that he ever wanted to know otherwise.