After leaving Christianity for years Im starting to come back. I don't go to church but I re-read the gospels and think its time I let Jesus back into my life.

Hi SpongeCake---I hope we hear more from you.

Hi, SpongeCake! I'm also interested in your story, if your willing to tell it. Perhaps you could start a topic in "Transformative Experiences" or somewhere...?

I want to tell you that I also left God for 7 years (atheism) and then it took me 4 more years to get back to the Church.
On my way back I was very slow and cautious. Even when I fell in love with Jesus at some point (winter 2003), I still didn't accept Catholic dogmas, morality, didn't believe in sacraments, couldn't read most of the Bible etc. But I loved Jesus and - mysteriously - I was receiving contemplation (which was pulling me closer to Him year by year).

I also want to tell you that I felt that God will wait for me, however much time I need to get back. He wasn't pushing me. He was loving me. And this love performed a miracle in my life.

Subjectively it felt like the truth was gradually poured into me, without my conscious consent (but I wasn't resisting it).
I remember that one day at church I realized I don't believe in future life, resurrection of the dead etc. And I said to Jesus: "My Beloved, I don't believe in it, it doesn't make sense to me. But, because I love you, I'll believe in it - for you". And I did.
Later, at some point, I realized that the Church is the Body of my Beloved, and that she mediates Him for me, therefore, I can't accept Jesus and not accept the Church. But many ethical aspects of Catholicism still didn't fit into my world, but that was changed later on.

So I feel like telling you that it's totally OK to take your time, let God lead you in the way he thinks is best for you. He'll wait. Wherever you are in your journey, he loves you passionately and unconditionally.

I hope my response is not too personal for you. I don't know you, but I'm very moved by what you shared with us. I feel joy and happiness, and gratitude to God! I'm a bit surprised by my own reaction to what you wrote , but I suspect it may come from the Holy Spirit, so I decided to post it. SP is a good place for coming back