(and if you don't believe in God, why not?)

I'll start things off by saying that, first and foremost, I believe in God because I experience as real and distinct a sense of being in relationship with God, connection with God, etc., as I do with my wife or any other human being, or place or thing. I also experience the same kinds of relational interactions--closeness, intimacy, distance, etc.--that I do in other relationships, which implies the existence of an-Other with whom I am in relationship. I'm not just projecting or fabricating all this, as sometimes the Other (God) is the One who initiates something, calls me in a certain manner or direction, or else "ignores" me when I'd rather that didn't happen.

Oh, I have all sorts of other resons for believing, too, like:
- creation requires a Creator
- signs of Intelligence all about in the universe.
- the resurrection of Jesus (how else to explain the Church--seriously!!!)
- the difference I've seen faith make in the lives of others
- the way human beings long for the infinite; why else but God?

But these only point one toward the Great Intimacy, which one opens to in faith, love, trust and surrender--only to discover that something "More" of Life becomes more tangible.

More later. . .

Now it's your turn.

Phil

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You who ARE more than I can see
Or even think united Three
Of was, is, will be more or less
As you choose;
How can I speak of you
Who I do not understand
And yet can feel moving within
Without me gentle touch
Of mystery.

What do I call you when we touch
Deep within conscious unconsciousness?
How do I name you who is more than all?
How do I visualize you who became less
To become everything while remaining yourself?
Who are you that answers when I speak,
Who directs without controlling
Leads without chains and
Teaches without vocabulary?

How to I find that which is within and
Yet without at the same time?
Do I speak to myself within you
Or to the you within myself
Or just direct my glance to the cosmos
Wherein you lie surrounding it
Indwelling all, and yet holding
All within the circle of the unity
Of your Trinity?

How dare I of so little worth address
That which is priceless?
How dare I ask consideration of one
Who has all and is all and
Will be all or not if so chooses?
How can I in my arrogance hope
For understanding of your parts
Much less your totality?
And yet, you ask that I do and
My heart complies with your wish.

Oh, I could say something like seeing goodness in people in the face of terrible obstacles and pain is evidence of a divine presence, but the existence of such nastiness in the first place seems to weaken this line of reasoning for me. But there are other things to consider.

When I see electrons acting intelligently and somewhat consciously at the quantum level, when I see that there are boundaries to what science can explain, when I know that our five senses give but a hint of all that is and can be in the world, well, it would be much more arrogant to suppose no God than to suppose a God, whatever that (He) may be. And while our definitions of God may be quite different I do believe there is much more than what I am.

I personally believe in God. For what else could explain the universe, the world, everything?
My problem is believing that Jesus died for ME. His love, in my mind, is for everyone else but me. I don't know why, except that I grew up with a sense of guilt about everything. I need help and don't know where to get it.

"My problem is believing that Jesus died for ME. His love, in my mind, is for everyone else but me."

I don't know if this will help but here are a couple of things to think about:

Through Christ we are forgiven for being ourselves - for what we have done in the past and even what we will do in the future. We are human and we sin. We try not to but we do in more ways than we will ever probably know. It is a part of our humanity - of who we are. God knows this and understands this and loves each of us in spite of ourselves. Easy to say but not always easy to believe, I know. Perhaps, this is because we offer forgiveness to others but not to ourselves. Forgiving ourselves can be much harder - but is just as important.

We want so badly to be perfect and we, or at least I, have a hard time coming to grips with the fact that I probably will never be perfect and am certainly not perfect now. The thing I hang on to are the words in Genesis "God saw everything that he had made, and indeed it was very good." It does not say that it was perfect but that it was very good. My ragged old sneakers are not perfect but indeed they are very good... We - all of us - are loved as we are... a bit ragged and battered and grubby and definitely not perfect but very good just the same.

For a long time, I held on to the idea that Christ died not only for me but because of me and it was a guilt I had a very hard time forgiving myself and actually everyone else for. How could he possibly love someone who caused him this suffering and pain? I finally realized that because he loved me - us - he chose this - he chose the cross. I/we did not take his life - he gave it so we could have life. "He offered himself up..." and he did this because he loved us imperfect, broken people - each and every one of us - me, you, the bum on the corner - every one of us.

If you have trouble believing that he loves you - ask him and then listen carefully - be aware and he will tell just how very much he really does... not for what you do or don't do or who you are or are not but simply because you are.

God's peace

Hi rolo,

Wanda has already shared some really good insights with you, but I thought I'd add a couple of others.

In one sense, it's true that the "Christ died for you" message often comes across as sentimental and irrelevant. I recall as a boy in grade school thinking, "Why should he die for me? I wasn't even alive, and I never did anything to anyone to have someone needing to die for me." These kinds of "irreverent" thoughts stayed with me for years. It wasn't until I wrote my book, Jesus on the Cross: Why? that I clarified this for myself. That book is now out of print, but you can download it on my web site under a different title. Click here if you're interested in reading it.

Jesus died to reverse the deterioration of the human race caused by sin and evil through a full infusion of divinity mediated through his human body. In accepting death, he fully embraced the human condition, bringing the newness of divine life even into the realm of death, thus opening the way to heaven/eternal life for us. And that includes you as an individual, not merely as a member of the race.

Give my book a reading, and that recommendation by Wanda as well.

Phil