Along your spiritual journey, is it advised to be taking psychotropic medications? Should you obey a psychiatrist that tells you to take antipsychotics because your speech is too 'grandiose' or 'love oriented.' I feel like its meeting Agent Smith in the Matrix.

Also, do people around here view bipolar disorder as a lifelong illness or a transient mismanaged kundalini? I feel like I've been branded for life by modern psychiatry. Thoughts?

Hi Bus As a counseler I do see some clients with bipolar disorder. The psychiatrist decides the treatment of the psychotherapeutic medications, and I help them in their learning to self moniter themselves, and to identify episodes as they occur. Medications depend on the disorder. Some people need medication for a single episode, some for many months and some indefinitely. Each case is treated on an individual basis.

Hang in there and continue to share with us. So glad that you have joined us here on Shalom Place.

But aren't kundalini awakenings and bipolar disorder generally the same thing?

I was also wondering, that if I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder would knowing more about kundalini events help me in future episodes. My 'attacks' are much more spiritual, so I believe their kundalini awakenings over bipolar. Will it harm me more than hurt me? If its coming, I might as well be prepared, right? What is the difference?

Hi Bus You are asking difficult questions which I doubt anyone of us has the true answers to. One can be bipolar without kundalini awakening, and than again you can experience both, or can have a kundalini experience and through same become bipolar.

Would you please share some of your background with us? Were you first diagnosed with a bipolar disorder and than experienced kundalini? Or was it the other way around?.

Bipolar disorder can be treated not only with medications, but also with a spiritual love and trust in God. Many patients can lead a good life and function. There are known cases in which bipolar disorder completely disappeared after a kundalini transformation. Trust God who will be your strength and see you through. He will guide and lead you in His ways of love.

Actually Bus, not one of us is perfect in our mental health. I consider myself at times to be a bit neurotic and have much company among humanity. Bless you

Good feedback, Freebird. You wrote: One can be bipolar without kundalini awakening, and than again you can experience both, or can have a kundalini experience and through same become bipolar. Right, and, finally, one can have kundalini experience and not be bipolar. So that about covers all the bases.

At the age of 23, I was in a year in between college and medical school finding myself writing a book about �getting America back on track� especially focusing on the Oneness amongst human beings. Before long, the book turned into a �manifesto� and I found myself deeply involved in its message of unity amongst human beings on Earth. So deeply that I started to believe I was the Messiah sent by God as the preservation of mankind in these stressful times. Up until that time I thought quite highly of myself, and was much more egotistical than I am today. After being picked up by the police in my underwear in the middle of winter raving like a madman, I was hospitalized for nine days.

Thought displaying none of mania�s vices (very loving, no sexual urges, no gambling, no risky behavior) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and it took me 4-5 months to recover from a depression thinking my life was over. I�m surprised I ever did recover.

During my deep depression I did experience energy flowing from my head to my body as though to help heal it. At the time I had never heard of kundalini, and I just believed I �went crazy.� As I reflect back this first episode of mine I now see it as a kundalini awakening trying to happen, but was muddled with ego and the desire to carry humanity on my two shoulders alone.

Three years went by until I decided I wanted to take a yoga class (which happened to be kundalini). I had no idea that this yoga centered around a concept that could explain my horrific earlier experience as a partial awakening.

After months of kundalini yoga, I began to become a more giving person. I felt my ego shrinking and wanted to become more involved in humanitarian work. More importantly I wanted to give more of myself to my friends and family.

When I had a second go around, I still didn�t know about kundalini. I entered the yoga studio rather hypomanic or �high on life,� and I realized while waiting for class that I could manipulate any of the light switches (which I have only heard about in lucid dreaming).

I went upstairs to perform the practice and I felt an enormous amount of energy channel through my body with my legs and forearms going numb for about 10 seconds. I lay down and I felt two large gusts of wind (definitely not from the ceiling fan) come across my body. It was at this time I found this all very, very scary and affirmed Christ as my personal savior. I believe he guided me through.

I informed my instructor of this and I was told to drink lots of water, which I did and all the sudden the light switches worked again. Over the course of weeks (is that a normal amount of time) I felt full of love and at times too swollen. I prayed a lot, and one day great white light poured from my head early one morning. I once again was frightened, but put my faith in Jesus. I did feel like I was on the edge of insanity a couple days, but God pulled me through.

The most striking event that happened to me was when white light erupted out of my wide upon waking up one morning. I also saw light in people�s eyes for about a week. People had varying amounts of glow as if candles of varying strengths were placed in their heads. This was certainly the product of being on a different plane at that time

This episode felt like a huge psychological clean-up, and I spent many days feeling transcendent or �over the Wall.� It was a sense of Oneness and unity. Feeling myself come back down was initially upsetting, but then seen as essential in order to carry out my life�s work as a doctor..

In short I have a couple questions� please understand I�m new to all of this 

1) How does one know that they had a complete awakening? Can you have more than one compete awakening. Could I have �cured� my bipolar disorder? Oh, that would be a blessing. It feels much better to call them kundalini awakenings that �episodes of mania.�

2) Do your thoughts change during an awakening? I felt in control, but I also felt elements of psychosis (changed thought patterns).

3) How do you feel afterwards? I feel more loving and conscious of the greater good, but life is pretty much going along as normal. I don�t feel like I have any �superpowers� or anything.

4) Do they get easier once you have more information? My second one was much, much better.

5) Finding these message boards was a blessing for me indeed. Its good to know I�m not alone.

Bus - Thanks for your honest sharing. Seems like there's a mix of bipolar disorder and spiritual awakening. I wouldn't be so concerned about categorising the various elements of your experience. This creates its own stress which only serves to further complicate the matter. Nor would I be too concerned about dealing with the psychiatric profession. Let them do what they do and keep the spiritual stuff between you and God. You can take medication and do some gentle spiritual work at the same time. My K awakening was complicated by psychotic symptoms and I had to do a bit of juggling before I found myself at peace with my condition.

The best thing might be to keep life as stable and quiet as possible - walks in the park, healthy eating, light reading. Keep stresses to a minimum and thank God. He'll bring you through in time.

Thank you for those kind words, Stephen. They have indeed helped me.