I'm Crystal Amber. I live in Ontario's Near North. I am an anomaly in that I am contemplative/mystic in the Protestant stream of Christianity. I have found no mentors or other helpful people and so have turned to books. I was attracted to this forum because there are finally like-minded people here, and perhaps people who can help me along the way.

HI Crystal,

Welcome. I read some of your web page. Thanks for introducing yourself.

I discovered this board a few weeks ago and just decided to register the other day. I have been a bit intimidated by how educated you all sound! I have no formal education in theology but have been led here by the wonderful whimsy of our delightful God. And even though it appears this board is not very active right now, I will start blabbing anyway.

When registering I told Phil that I did not think I would speak (because of the above mentioned intimidation factor) but now after reading some more... here I am, speaking! Words just about bursting out of me! So I apologize here and now for my very basic and brand new understanding of contemplation and what it means for me.

I am so happy to discover other people out there with this longing for solitude and silence. For dwelling in God's presence in this way. It is something I have fought my whole life, thinking I have been always failing and trying to be more extroverted. And then as I've walked this path of faith, trying to go the apostolic spiritual way while all the time fighting the need to travel the psychological/contemplative way.

I am Catholic, 51 years old, very happily married to a Catholic man for 32 years, mother of 3 grown daughters, grandmother of 2, librarian, caretaker of a dependent mom.

I was raised with no real formal religion. My mom was a lapsed Baptist, my dad a lapsed Catholic. I married my beautiful devout Catholic boy when I was 20 and became a Catholic myself when I was 26. My realtionship with God was through an awareness of the Holy Spirit and then became a realtionship with God the Father. After a Fransiscan retreat experience in 2005, I awakened to Jesus Christ as my own beloved who exists within my very heart and wants to have a relationship with me personally! This has changed my life. And so the past years have led me to a longing to know my true self as I better understand how much Jesus loves me. I am aware that I sound like so many children's songs, but can't help it. They fit.

So that's me. I will continue to soak up everything this place has to offer and I am so grateful for it's existence.

Thank you and God bless you today!

Welcome Rosa. I'm glad you've found the discussion board and resources we have here. It sounds like you're deeply committed to the spiritual journey with much to share. I hope we hear more from you.

Phil

Welcome Rosa, and Amen to finding the spiritual path that fits for you and not trying to fit the mold of what others emphasize the spiritual life is supposed to be about; I can really relate
Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Thank you for the kind welcome. We're each made to be so unique, part of why it's so good to share our stories on the journey.

God bless you!

quote:

I awakened to Jesus Christ as my own beloved who exists within my very heart and wants to have a relationship with me personally! This has changed my life. And so the past years have led me to a longing to know my true self as I better understand how much Jesus loves me. I am aware that I sound like so many children's songs, but can't help it. They fit.

Welcome Rosa! If your words sound like a children's song then that may account for Jesus' words in Mark, �Whosover shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall in no wise enter therein.� Like you I also remember when Paul's teaching concerning the Christ within us struck home in a big way for me. God is in me! What a revelation! And as you said, that change of perspective is life-changing. That could be why we both treasure the silence and solitude that you have spoken of. He is in the silence.

Welcome and God bless,

Roger

Hello sisters and brothers,

I just registered here today, and I hope to find a community of people who will help each other on their Christward journey. I don't know how much help I will be to you, but I do know how huch help I need from you!

I'm a 60-year-old divorced mother of 3 grown sons, a lifelong Presbyterian, and I have been the secretary of my church for the past 18 years. Although I have known and loved Jesus for as long as I can remember, and I know God's grace has been leading me to Him since before I was born, I underwent an awakening of sorts about 15 years ago when the new pastor (also the current pastor and my boss) came to my church. He was unlike anyone I had ever known before, and knew Jesus in an intimately personal way that I knew instantly I wanted. I have been blessed by a few close companions on this way, but they are few and far between.

The focus and goal of my life can be summed up in the words of the apostle Paul: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead" (Philippians 4:10-11). I have been intentionally pressing on toward that end now for the past 15 years.

Even though it has been 15 years, as I read the posts at this site, and as I reflect on where I am spiritually, it is clear that I am a mere beginner. Although my heart longs desperately to know Jesus in this intimate way, all my efforts seem to fall short. I have been a practioner of lectio divina and many forms of prayer including centering prayer for many years, but I feel I haven't gotten to first base in terms of experiencing a deeper state of mind and spirit and a deeper knowing of the triune God.

So .... that's me! I hope to get to know you all better through the interchange here, and I look forward to sharing your wisdom and experiences.

Blessings to you all.
Charis

Thank you for introducing yourself, Charis. Welcome to this little online community. I'm sure that many can identify with your life goal. Enjoy your time here.

Phil

Hello. I'm new here a well. I began my walk with Christ in 1978. That's a lot of transformation and learning to put into a short intro. But I think the best way to sum it up is that it was like a "My Fair Lady" story for me. He picked me up out of the gutter, washed me clean, and transformed me into a Lady by His Spirit and Love. He is my Treasure, and my heart's Home.

I thought it was a natural thing for all Christian's to be taught by the Spirit in meditating on the Scriptures. I'm just learning that what I've been doing all these years is called lectio divina, and not practiced by everyone.

The main Scripture that ruled my life for many years is "As you do it to the least of these, you do it to Me." I lived life treating all as if they were my Lord. That was a fire, and it changed me completely. After a few years I began hearing the Spirit speak to me through all those I would treat as my Lord, and I began to experience a new level of awareness and communion with God. It was like there was some kind of overlap of dimensions. Life became so much fun in living it with Him every day. The intimacy grew and the love deepened. And then He was gone...that was another fire.

There have been many mountains and valleys, many dark nights and brilliant skys. I've come to learn that my only desire in life is to share life with Him...nothing else compares to the joy and richness of loving God.

In my worldly life I'm an artist. I do a lot of different things but Iconography is my calling. My job and service in the world is as a CNA, which I've been doing for near 30 years. I worked in geriatrics for many years, alzheimers wards, skilled...but now the facility I worked in has changed to Assisted Living. Its much easier on the back, plus I'm working with all ages and its very enjoyable.

My path at this time in my life has brought me to Kundalini. I had experiences years ago, but didn't know what it was. This time I was led to a Teacher/Group and he is assisting me in learning what I need to know...free of charge! It came to a point where he opened up Apprenticeship to those that wanted to go deeper into the teachings about Kundalini. I was not called to do this, so I opened myself to what the Spirit wanted for me at this point and I was led here. I had just finished Phil's book on Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality and longed to be around Christians that were experiencing this. I was growing tired of all the Eastern talk, and the Gnostics were beginning to push their views...and something in me just cried out to know what Kundalini had to do with traditional Christianity! I had no interest in giving up my Beloved Lord and awaken to an impersonal God. If that was the truth I wanted to keep the "lie." NO INTEREST! So here I am, enjoying basking in the Light that shines in the darkness... I look forward to getting more involved in this community, and taking some of the courses offered. I'm so excited.

Sorry so long...
Thanks for listening.
Love, dhyana

quote:

Originally posted by Mys_Dhyana:
Phil's book on Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality and longed to be around Christians that were experiencing this. I was growing tired of all the Eastern talk, and the Gnostics were beginning to push their views...and something in me just cried out to know what Kundalini had to do with traditional Christianity!

Welcome. I enjoyed your intro and I resonate with your comments above. I too read Phil's book first and was seeking to know how the energy stuff I was going through relates to traditional Christianity.

Hi

I'm Rachel and have been following this discussion forum for a good few years now. I teach english in Japan at the moment (been here for almost 4 years) but am from the U.K. I also make Art and write and have been very interested in the connection between spirituality, healing, Art and Ecological awareness.

My dad is a Church of English minister with a strong leaning towards contemplative practices, he recently completed a course in christian spirituality at Salisbury University. As for me I always sensed God but found being a vicars daughter quite hard as far as expectations go so aged 14 I quit the church and went seeking an authentic experience, especially within Buddhism and Zen tradions. God has gently lead been with me all along and I feel so blessed with the many people I have shared my journey with so far. I had an experience of deliverance from demonic spirits last September (believe me I was surprised as I've not be brought up in a charismatic tradition at all!) I'm still figuring things out but feel Jesus loving presence very strongly and am very happy at my Hawaain Church here.

Thanks to everyone for all your posts and discussions its always food for thought and I know God is using this space, as it has helped me at various points when other places were not viable options for discussion of some subjects.

Godbless

lol Its been a long day that should read Church of England not English though now NOVA has bombed maybe that would be a catchy name for an English School lol

Hi Rachel. Good to hear from you again and glad to hear that you find the forums here to be helpful.

It sounds like your journey is still rooted in the Christian tradition, is that right? How's it going with your understanding of how Buddhism and Zen help or hinder your spirituality?

Hi Rachel,

I can relate to your being a vicar's daughter. My own father was pastor of an independent evangelical church. In my late teens I just had to go my own way on a search that led through counter culture, Eastern mysticisn, new age dabbling, through a Kundalini awakening, right back to my dad's church and from thence to a more liberal contemplative Christianity (thanks mainly to these boards and a few influential voices here). The whole journey meakes me who I am and I'm pretty thankful for that. Also had pretty horrific occult experiences along the way and was wondering about the demonic deliverance you went through. Were you suffering under any kind of demonic burden, and was the deliverance instantaneous and complete?