The Kundalini Process: A Christian Understanding
Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality
- by Philip St. Romain
Paperback and digital editions
Been having some recurrent observations now that I've resumed my meditation almost 20 years post-kundalini.
First, I seem to easily get off-track in my meditation, finding myself focused more on achieving something instead of resting in or surrendering to God. Looking back 20 years ago, this was a problem when the kundalini awakened as well.
Second, and this is probably related to the above item, I feel it is important to remember that I'm meditating not just for myself, but as an act of love toward humanity.
These two constant observations make me wonder if people have "good" or "bad" meditation experience based on these issues?
Here is a video where the Dalai Lama responds to a researcher's question of how to help meditation psychosis which seems to touch on motivation and expectations:
Britton/Dalai Lama Video
Kristine, what kind of meditation are you doing . . . what is your "method"?
Twenty years ago I did Centering Prayer, which triggered the kundalini. Stopped CP, and now do Lectio Divina (with prayer journal writing), followed by a period of simple resting in God (sans the "sacred word" detaching function). It is during the latter period that the mind wanders and the two issues creep in. I typically just note the distraction, then reset my focus to resting with God.
In an attempt to lay a better prayer foundation, I have added the journal writing during lectio. Here is the method, and although new to my practice, it seems to help me learn to trust the inner guidance, which in-turn helps me trust the act of surrendering to God: Lectio w/Journal Article
The issues you describe above of mixed motives are very common, Kristine. The prayer time simply brings to light what's already there, and the main thing is to re-focus attention unto God somehow. It's usually best to not evaluate whether a prayer time is "good" or not. The main thing is to do it, I believe. Sometimes it seems that the noisiest times where we re-focus again and again accomplish the most in terms of ongoing surrender.
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