The Kundalini Process: A Christian Understanding
Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality
- by Philip St. Romain
Paperback and digital editions
I've been experiencing Kundalini awakening for about 8 years now. It's been a very difficult experience. And aside from all of the sensations I feel and what not, the most difficult part for me is working. When it started I was studying computer science. Ever since it started there are times when I'm just mentally not well, where blockages are coming up and I can't think clearly and processing information is borderline impossible. At times when Kundalini isn't as prevalent my thinking and processing of information is incredible. I can pick up new programming languages fairly effortlessly. But ever since the start of this I can't keep a job. Either just from not being able to perform well enough due to the mental confusion at times, or from taking days off to recuperate, this has been a horrible struggle for me. Pretty much any job I get is completely ruthless in expecting you to perform your duties to 100% of you ability 100% of the time, with no leniency for taking mental health days off. There are just times when this isn't possible. I've felt horribly guilty about this for some time now, which doesn't help, especially with my parents screaming and yelling at me for not having a job. I'm in a horrible financial situation now, and given the current state of politics I'm pretty terrified of where I'm heading. I don't know who to talk to about this. I've worked as a transcriptionist for a psychologist for several years, and have a pretty good idea of how psychologists work, and I don't think they can assist me with anything of this nature. I've been to doctors numerous times since the start of this, and they always tell me I'm perfectly healthy.
And it's not just the mental confusion in having difficulty working, with some jobs I have this horrible feeling that comes from within when going to certain interviews or certain jobs. Like, I worked at Starbucks for quite a while and really enjoyed it. But have an interview for a call center position today, and there is just this horrible feeling I have towards it. I've meditated on it and tried to come to terms thinking it's a blockage, but I really don't think it's that. To some degree I feel like it's the powers that be telling me this isn't good for me (I hate call center jobs, but right now I'm desperate).
If anyone has any suggestions or advice or guidance or even just words of wisdom in regards to this I would really appreciate it. It's something I've been struggling with for a long time now.
Hi JBob. I see you just posted, so you're going to be impressed that a reply came so soon.
Are you doing any kind of spiritual practice now? It would help to know this. Some types of spiritual practice can help to stabilize the process.
That said, it is nontheless true that for those with kundalini process, jobs that are stressful or that require prolonged mental concentration are difficult. I cannot work on a writing project for more than 45 min. without beginning to feel problems coming on. If I take breaks, it's not so bad.
A call center can be a stressful place to work, and it may well be that you're anticipating this and being steered away from it. Perhaps you could survive with frequent breaks, but you might not be able to use your time as you please.
It is challenging to find the right kind of work and lifestyle with kundalini process activated. A quiet, simple lifestyle without excessive mental concentration seems ideal, but that's not always possible.
Keep us posted on how it goes. Prayers.
Thanks for the reply Phil. Definitely impressed with your quick response lol.
I've been studying sort of the philosophies behind everything for a long time, but never seriously took up a spiritual practice. I think you're right, I think it's time to start one. I really need some stability in my life at this point, and that sounds like a good idea.
For me, I can concentrate non-stop for countless hours, there are just times where I go through periods that I can't. It will just be like a day or two where I just need to sort of process blockages or like recover from the blockages i resolve, if that makes any sense.
I think you're right, it's not just that call center jobs are stressful, I hate that feeling of being locked to your desk, where if you take an additional minute on your break they know and supervisors are all over you for it.
I agree, it is definitely difficult finding work that goes along with this kundalini experience. Sometimes I really hate it, and I pray and pray for it to just go away, life would be so much easier without it.
I think you're right, I need to find a more relaxing job.
Thanks for the wise words, Phil! Definitely appreciate it. And I've been looking into throat chakra blockages, and makes a lot of sense. Pretty mind blowing actually. A lot of this comes from my parents. All my parents ever cared about was money, sort of this desperation to pay the bills. And it comes about through a misdirected sense of fear. My mother is terrified of expressing herself. Not surprisingly, she also has hypothyroidism.
But thanks again for the quick response! I've never had anyone to talk to about this that didn't think I was crazy.
Awakening Kundalini comes with a quickening of areas of our lives that are still works-in-progress A 'letting go' and being in the moment is probably the most trying, and you most likely will be placed in situations where being in the moment is the only answer for coping. Consider it intense training in mindfulness.
The adventure is not trivial, but for those who have engaged it (consciously or unconsciously), it only requires surrender and a suspension of expectation.
Hi, JBob, Our old friend Tara, who used to post here, made a series of videos on living with kundalini. Here is one of them:
If you click on her name underneath the video, you'll find more. Perhaps somewhere in her videos you'll pick up some helpful information.
Good to see some interaction, here.
JBob, there's definitely something to the teachings on yin and yang. When you write, "I can concentrate non-stop for countless hours, there are just times where I go through periods that I can't," it may well be that you're describing the depletion of yang energy. Things shut down for awhile, forcing you into yin mode until your energy systems can be re-charged.
Yang = "make it happen" energy; masculine; assertive.
Yin = "let it happen" energy; feminine, receptive.
In common parlance, maybe sometimes you're just "pushing yourself too hard" and "need a break." So . . . welcome to the human race!
Kundalini is often considered a feminine energy, and I think the process is more stable when one's lifestyle is less willful and more contemplative. A certain amount of yang is needed, however, to balance out the yin, and when yang is depleted, the energy process can feel raw and painful, and one can feel exhausted, empty, even depressed. So we have to pay attention to these matters, or else we will end up crashing, sometimes for days. That's my experience, at least.
Hi JBob, I have lived with what you are experiencing day in and day out for most of my life. So my heart goes out to you. Based on my experience the first thing you need to understand is that when you get a Kundalini attack the first thing that happens is that your stomach gasses up and this gas that is created pushes against your diaphragm which then kicks in the fight response or panic response. In your case it is kicking in the panic response. From there you will begin to congest up and begin to have trouble breathing, you will feel fear, and your mind will tell you to run. Which medical science is now calling a "panic attack".
A Kundalini attack as you are experiencing it is the autonomic nervous system's automated response to perceived fear and most of the time that fear is not valid and if anything self destructive. And usually it is caused by a piece of the personality programming that you have received as a child that lies in the foundation programming of the subconscious part of your mind. The part of the mind that is automated and does things without permission from the conscious mind.
Because attempting to change the foundation personality programming that lies in the subconscious is extremely dangerous because it will shut down your body the instant that it feels that it is being tampered with. And if tampering with this programming is continued it will make you very very sick and could cause one to die.
So what can you do? First, chew a Tums (calcium carbonate tablets) and more if needed, with some water. Because you have to/need to get the gas out of your stomach to relieve the pressure on your diaphragm. And second, breath in through your mouth and out through you nose several times. This way of breathing stimulates the belching response. Getting the gas out of your stomach prevents or at least slows down the pressure against your diaphragm that is creating the panic or anger response.
A simple thing like, "What will people think?" can cause the automated subconscious mind because of some part of its foundation personality programming to kick in a sever fight or flight response. The same response that you would have if you were walking in the park and encountered a Tyranosaurus Rex. Nothing about that autonomic nervous system response is valid, but it still can happen. And does to a lot of folks.
Kundalini? Back in the old days the true Kundalini masters learned how to control this automated response to threat and used it as a power. And they called it the male kundalini, "The Golden Snake". Some also learned to control what they called the female kundalini which they called, "The Bird". The gateway to the spirit world. Now a days they promote the Kundalini as a god, but in the old days it was not considered a god. It was considered a path to becoming a god. At least the art of controlling the male Kundalini was. And the uncontrolled Kundalini (fight or flight) response that is kicked in by faulty or flawed foundation personality programming that lies in the subconscious mind (the automated part of the mind) that we picked up in childhood can reek havoc in our lives.
The uncontrolled Kundalini response back in my younger days use to cause me to become extremely angry and borderline violent. So I decided one day that I was no longer going to be angry. When I did that I started to have sever panic attacks and I have been fighting them day in and day out for over twenty years now. "Eek! I am congesting/gassing up. Where is the tums and start breathing." Personally I think that one is better to be a little angry all the time. It is better than being panicked all the time. But I do not want to be angry, so What I have been learning is how to control my autonomic nervous system with my conscious mind to over ride the automated (subconscious) part of my mind whose response to things is based on the faulty childhood programming that lies in the foundation programming of the my subconscious mind. The part of the mind that will tell you not to go there or you will die. And it is flat serious about it and it controls my autonomic nervous system without my permission.
I know how the old Kundalini masters raised and controlled the Golden Snake and The Bird, but I don't want to do it because I consider it not Christian and I do not want to be a god or to open the gate to the spirit world. For those of you that may be interested in exploring the old way keep in mind that it very dangerous and can kill you if it is not done right and the closest that you can find out how to do it right in today's world is to go to an advanced Raja Yoga master. And if not done right you can also end up out of your body and not know how to get back, which happened to me because I zigged when I should have zagged. I had to ask God to put me back in my body.
So anyway if you are a normal person 90% of the solve is to be sensitive to when your stomach is starting to gas up because that phenomenon is going to or can throw you into a fight or flight mind state (an uncontrolled Kundalini response) where you get very angry or very panicked. You need to get the gas that is being generated out of your stomach. Tums, water, and breathing in through your mouth and out though you nose. And if you do this you will belch.
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