Here is a place where you are invited to share about your kundalini awakening. What was going on in your life when you began to feel the first early stirrings of kundalini? Did you misinterpret it for something else? How did kundalini affect your life? How did you discover it was K? How did you deal with it?
For me, in those early days, I tried to seek out someone ( anyone!) who would help understand what was going on within me. I went to people i considered spiritual within the life of the church. They were well intentioned people who had a variety of things to say about the experiences i was having, far from helping, they scared me to death....it was for the most part the blind leading the blind.
In the western world people in mainline Christianity do not seem to know about kundalini, much less speak about it...yet it's probably affecting many average church goers,( and non church goers) like me years ago, who have never even heard the word kundalini!
Anyone feel free to share! I look forward to hearing about other people's kundalini journeys.This message has been edited. Last edited by: faustina,
04 August 2010, 10:04 AM
What an interesting topic.. thanks for asking this question. Glad you are here, Christine!
I don't know where to begin answering this question, as for me, there was no major grand k. opening, unless it happened the time I had the experience in 1978, which I wrote about here a few years ago. I'll see if I can find that.
Also, some have said that my "psychotic episode" , may have been a kundalini awakening which I was not physically prepared for. That happened in 1976. Other than those two major episodes, I had many, many other manifestations of k activity. To name some, spontaneous groanings and facial contortions,(weird, I know) Very odd breathing patterns, various heat and cold sensations...
Oh, when I was having the psychotic episode, I did see beautiful mandala type visions in my head... Recently I have had those again.. but I am perfectly sane now.. LOL. Beautiful swirly colors of gold and other colors, and often I get a "light show" in the mornings when I wake up , but with my eyes still closed. I consider it a "treat" from God.
The reason I think the episode in 1976 may have been kundalini, is that I had been VERY much into spiritual activities... had been in many high energy, Holy Spirit gatherings, prayer meetings, Kathryn Kuhlman. But I did have emotional problems too, so I guess maybe the two didn't mix very well.
As I think of more things, I will post them.
Thanks for reading...
04 August 2010, 11:45 AM
Here is a link to the thread (i hope) about some of my K experiences.
Thanks for starting this thread. I was hoping that you would go first in telling your story.
I know it takes a lot of time and energy to do it 'right.' I don't have a clean-cut story as to a moment in time when I think it all started. Nor do I have a lot of time to do justice to all your questions tonight. But I can get started with sharing my earliest experience of what *might* have been kundalini energy. This is something I just don't know about, but when I was about 7 years old thereabouts, I recall having strange, but very comforting retreats in some interior, supernatural space. I recall getting in bed and looking forward to going to this inner 'place' or space. It was like a peaceful, expansive, inner space...don't know how to describe it. I may have tumbled around this place, which seemed both empty but yet I was held. I remember being very lonely as a child and in the context of emotional neglect and abuse, as well as some physical abuse, this was a kind of supernatural haven of peace and comfort.
Years later, around age 13, I had an out-of-body, near death experience. I'd never heard of anything like that being possible and it frightened me. I don't know if that was k-related either.
That's all for now... how about others? I'm curious to hear what others experienced of how their k experiences began.
04 August 2010, 09:33 PM
This is great, I too, started to experience "something" back in the early to mid 80s I attended a Life in the Spirit Seminar, started to pray in a contemplative way, spent alot of that prayer time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
I also made a temporary promise as a Secular Carmelite, never did make the final promise, as I moved to another state. Very attracted to that type of spirituality still.
I started noticing at night, waking up with a rushing between my ears, other times felt a sensation coming up my spine, one night the rush did pop out my head. Had no clue!!!! I do remember it wasn't violent. I'd have to go read my journals from back then, but it really seems to be a convoluded story, since I didn't know what was happening to myself.
I told my Carmelite director about this and she told me to pray that the blood of Christ protect me and intimated it was "evil". So.......I didn't talk to anyone about it after that. I just tried to find out by reading. I can't remember how I found Phil's book, but that was my starting point. What a relief that was.
I have always experienced the "light show" in prayer as Katy mentioned. Still do. Doesn't that have something to do with chakras? The colors match up with certain ones I believe.
I'll bet none of us is going to have a clean-cut story once we start thinking about it Shasha. I sure don't. When I look back, I've had some terribly difficult years, that seem to match up with what I've read about Kundalini and did not attribute those times to Kundalini. I'm also a highly sensitive person and have a hard time with what seems like too much stimulation. I notice too much.
I crave nature, quiet, wonderful food, good music, violent movies are disturbing, my tastes are changing, i feel like i don't know who i am any more. So there is a lot going on.
Now, I feel like I'm vibrating on the inside, it used to be intermittent, now its constant, feel itchy on the inside, pressure at the base of my neck, moves down to the heart, comes back up. Sleep disturbances, thirsty and hungry all the time. Piercing stabs happen here and there, lasts for seconds then quits.
Cristine, didn't you say something about Ascension once? I'm wondering if these things are connected. I had never heard that term before either and did a little research and was amazed at what I read about Ascension symptoms, at least I know its going on all around us. But I digress.......enough for now
05 August 2010, 09:41 AM
Oh dear.. I hope you find Poe. I am a cat lover... Will pray for his/her return soon.
05 August 2010, 09:58 AM
Good thread idea.
I've already written up my initial experience in my book, including the confusion I felt about the energy experiences in my head, eyes, ears, etc. I still experience many of these phenomena but have learned to live with it and see what I can learn, as many of the discomforting ones are related to stress, diet, or similar factors. Sometimes there's just no knowing what's going on, however, and so I trust that to the care of God.
In my own case, I understand the intensification of pranic/chi flow to be related to a deepening of contemplative prayer, an "overflowing," if you will, of spiritual "energy" into the bodily realm, hence effecting something of a transformation of the body to accommodate contemplative consciousness.
Looking forward to hearing more from others and am willing to elaborate on my own experience, if that would be helpful.
05 August 2010, 10:15 AM
I'll pray for Poe's return, Christine. I have two barn cats, Sprite and plume-tailed Aramis, and I know it's a concern when they don't show up for breakfast and supper.
I used to have here on earth a dear, godly old friend who was a real interceder in prayer. Though not a great animal lover herself, one of the ways she clearly showed love to me was in taking seriously in prayer my concerns about such things as a sick horse or missing kitty.
And now back to our regular programming...
06 August 2010, 08:01 AM
Hi everyone. Wow, lots of great sharing going on here. Thank you all.
I've only got a few minutes right now but plan to take more time to respond later.
Good to know Poe is back home and that I'm in the warm company of cat-lovers! I think I'd become suicidal if I lost my cat. So I prayed for his (?) return too.
Carmel-- It's interesting that you joined the Carmelites. I just became an "Aspirant" of the Secular Order of Carmelites at my Church in Ann Arbor. Don't know yet if it's my cup of tea...maybe we could start a thread to talk about it.
Back to kundalini, I see inner lights too quite often and tingling in face, tongue, nasal popping. I'm very sensitive to sound/noise/chaos and people's energies. I used to get violent explosions of energy that would build up at the base of my spine and then erupt. There's be a seizure-like discharge of energy up my spine that would convulse me, then deep relaxation, build up and explosion again and again. I don't have any anthing like that anymore. Other things are questionable as k, like leg cramps and cold and hot surges. The main effect of k. seems to be seeing the world in a kind of 'pure subjectivity,' being part of a unified matrix. There is nothing Holy about this expanded consciousness,IMO, but vivid evidence of a Maker.
Christine, thanks for the detailed sharing of your journey. I understand that it's hard to separate out the k symptoms from the action of the HS and one's seeking, hungry, devotional love. It all seems wrapped into a complex picture. As much as you can, though, can you share more what you mean by your experiences of the pre-k stuff and the full-blown experiences. Can you detail what you think the actual k symptoms have been in your body?
Gotta go for now, let my kitty outside and grab a work-out.
Love to all, Shasha
06 August 2010, 01:09 PM
I agree, it is hard to separate the symptoms of K and Holy Spirit and even physical issues.. such as fibromyalgia which I have. Some of the symptoms can be very strange... I tell my Dr. about various odd symptoms, but he doesn't know either, and he is a holistic/homeopathic Dr. He did say once time.. "maybe it has to do with kundalini.." Now that is unusual for a Dr. to say that!!!
But anyway, it's complicated!
As of now, I don't have anything unusual going on except I have had an odd sensation in my head.. not a headache, but it feels that something wants to be released. I do feel that I have a lot of blocked energy in my body, or as Phil said "pranic/chi flow".. Or it could be a physical problem... what's a person to do, when you don't know, and doctors don't know??
Christine, and others.. enjoyed your stories very much. By the way, to answer your question again.. no, I didn't know what was happening to me all those times in the past. I heard of the word K.. but that was all. Only much later did I learn abut K. and especially when I discovered this site, and Phil's book.
09 August 2010, 03:13 PM
Sasha, Katy and faustina, I read so many similarities in my own experience. I said it before, but I can't tell you how much comfort this gives me. All of this is very disconcerting to me and I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it. These symptoms do feel so physical in origin, but I have had the comfort of an excellent physical and everything is OK.
I have an odd sensation in my head also, that seems to move to different sides. It has finally let up just yesterday, feeling pretty good today. Just tingling in the hands.
Sasha, I never did make my Final Promise, but went through that whole discernment and study. I was an isolated member and felt I didn't want to be isolated from the community and on my own. I regret that now. I should have made that Final Promise. If you want to talk more let me know.
Phil I sure would like to hear more on how you manage day to day, with having to work and how you function. I don't have a job at this time and wonder how I could possibly cope with a regular job. I'm in a new town and thought I'd start out with just volunteering and see if I can keep a regular schedule of having to be somewhere at a certain time. Now I have the luxury of stopping, quieting down, and letting whatever it is at the time, pass. Then resume.
11 August 2010, 10:14 AM
Phil I sure would like to hear more on how you manage day to day, with having to work and how you function. I don't have a job at this time and wonder how I could possibly cope with a regular job.
I am fortunate to have a job working at a retreat center, which allows for times of prayer and a very simple lifestyle. Still, there are busy times, and I do OK. The hardest job for me would be one where I'd have pressures to get lots of things done in a time constraint; also, one with music playing in the background would drive me nuts.
The energy process seems to be stable for the most part if I take my times for morning and evening prayer, eat properly, exercise, sleep well, and go to Mass as often as possible (can't do it every day). Watching too much TV or the wrong kind of programs is a problem; same with radio and reading. So one has to avoid doing what makes things worse and do what helps. Not too profound, I know, but that's what it comes down to.
Thanks for all of you sharing as you have on this thread. Another good resource area!
11 August 2010, 12:36 PM
order and simplicity, good stuff. thank you for your input.
16 August 2010, 12:23 PM
Hi everyone. This is my first post on this forum. I was a bit reluctant to write about my kundalini experience because I have been struggling with mixed feelings ever since it started. My awakening, which took place about a month ago, was followed by strong feelings of guilt and fear. The reason for this is that didn't come through Christian practices, but as a result of my increasing interest in non-Christian activities such as yoga, tantra and binaural beats. Up to this day, I haven't figured out if it was God's will that it happened or a temptation that I should have resisted.
The matter is complicated by the fact that, when it happened, I was in a semi-trance induced by binaural beats, so I wasn't fully conscious. I am convinced though that if I had wanted to stop it, I could have, but in my subconscious I wanted it to happen. At the time, I didn't think there were many chances of it happening. I had read about kundalini online and in books, but to me it was just another one of those things they keep talking about but that never really happens to ordinary people (like levitation or remote viewing). When I felt the energy rising up my spine, I became scared and I thought to myself: 'God, this stuff is real. What have I done?'
The next days brought extreme spiritual torment. I started researching online and the stuff I came across scared me to death. I read testimonies of people whose life was completely devastated by kundalini. What was even worse, I came across all sort of Christian sites that presented this force as demonic and warned against it with vengeance. None of them gave any advice on how to deal with it, it was almost as if they automatically assumed that once it happened, you were lost.
You can imagine my relief when I came across this forum and I realized there were Christians who were open minded about it, and that it was something many of the saints themselves had experienced. That gave me a little hope, but I still couldn't gather the courage to post here.
Meanwhile, I started praying a lot more, going to church and reconnecting with the Christian tradition, which I had never lost but I had slighted neglected. That seemed to help a bit but I still wasn't sure about the effects of my awakening on the long run, which made me extremely unsettled.
Immediately after my awakening, I started having all kind of weird experiences. I could hear voices talking to me every time I closed my eyes. Some were angelic, others were demonic. There was one that I thought belonged to Jesus because it was very loving and compassionate. It was telling me things that had happened at the beginning of the world and giving me advice on how to cope with this situation. It emphasized love, compassion, humility and focusing on the heart instead of living in the head.
The most scary thing in the first days was that I had the sensation that everything around me was possessed by some weird demonic force. I couldn't look at anything without feeling that force. So I drew the conclusion that the problem was in me, that I was possessed. I started looking up information about possession and came across a site that basically said 'don't talk to the demons, don't tell them to go, just ask Jesus to tell them to go.' So I did just that, for the next couple of days, I prayed to Jesus to tell the evil spirits to go. One night while I was praying in bed, I felt a powerful force leaving my body. I haven't felt any demonic presence ever since.
On my one month kundalini anniversary last week, I felt a powerful rush of energy again but this time I left everything in God's hand and tried to relax. For the first time, I saw a huge white light in my head and felt blissful and at peace afterwards.
At the moment, I'm reading St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography and I can see she had strong doubts herself about her mystical and spiritual experiences. I'm finding a lot of comfort and good advice in her book. I feel more at peace now, though I still have occasional moments of panic and anxiety.
What frustrates me more than anything is this: For all these years, I have been trying to be a good Christian, to do everything right, to please God as much as I could. I would have liked nothing better than to experience kundalini in this context, like most people on this forum. But what happens instead? The moment I have a go at what they term as 'occult practices', it occurs. On one hand I feel betrayed, on the other hand I feel I am the betrayer. I can't help asking God 'why'?
Blessings to all, Penelope
16 August 2010, 01:48 PM
Other people on this forum can help you with your concerns, but I wanted to comment on what a thoughtful post you wrote.