I want to share with you what i have experienced yesterday. (yes phil, let us stop that discussion for a while ;-)( i do feel your loving intent and good intention, so no problem with your disagreement)
I use this new age term, just because it desribes what i do experience since my recent shift.
I want to say that i know people who do also experience this, one is a member on this board with the nick name "grace", but he is deeper in that experience.
I also want to say that my deepest prayer was allways to know jesus fully and to follow him completly and let him teach me.
Yesterday i just sat down and listened to christian music, when i gently was led to close my eyes and just become silent. The presence of jesus filled me so that i had tears in my eyes. I felt his love and my consciousness expanded, so that i had the experience to just "look down" on my personal level as from a higher point. He said that now it is time to let go of that childish level. I understood that in the eye of christ all this personal level experience we have is "childish". This was not judging by him, it was very loving, just that it is time for me to let go of it.
I experienced my "I" shifting from my human consciousness to christ (it felt as the impersonal spirit of jesus and christ as god as christ at the same time) and i felt his joy about that. I felt that it brings him so much joy to help us and to have a relationship with us that i had to cry, which brought him joy, and that brought me more joy. I received much understanding that i cannot share here.
I felt all my chakras were expanded and filled with "christ energy". But this was expressed troug the ajna chakra (3 eye) and i understood that i see the world now as christ does expressed through me. As this stabilized a bit i walked around in town and i experienced that christ experiences a human live through me. It felt as my consciousness was a "place holder" for his to experience a human live. For him to be "consciously" one in experience with his creation. The christ body seems to be necesarry hold his consciousness within my human consciousness (within my flesh).
I met a person whom i had baptized and it felt to be part of me (the body of christ).
This is very paradox and cannot be described with words, because i feel as one with christ and at the same time being this individual who experiences this oneness.
I am aware that this has happened by his grace. There is nothing that i could do to get there. We as humans are totally cut off from our maker and this happens only because he wants that. Because i have surrendered everything of my personal experience (i mean absolutly everything, the whole personal experience of me) i have been "emptied" by him and now experience his joy and love on a constant basis. This joy is not dependend upon externall things, it is just there.
I feel like a child, as if i experience everything for the first time (which i do, in this way), everything is so new and alive. I am so full of his joy and love that i had to share this,....that this is a possibility for everyone of his children who are willing to give everything to him (loose their lives, so that they get live).
So much love to all of you
That's a beautiful unitive experience you share with us, Alariel. Thank you! We are indeed joined to the risen/ascended body of Christ, who blesses us with his Holy Spirit and enables us to participate in his own knowing and loving. Quite amazing!
So you know "Grace"? What a delightful person! Please convey my regards.
I have very seldom contact with grace, only when christ leads me to do so. He does experience what i described above even deeper on a constant basis and from time to time he tells me something that i need for my own growth (mostly he says "surrender to christ" ;-)
When i write to him the next time i will give him your regards.
Love to you!
Yes, please do tell Grace hi.
But, now, Alariel, I must share with you sometimes the way you speak about your journey and experiences leaves the impression that surrender leads to something akin to spiritual possession, only, in your case, by Christ. That would be a very different perspective on the Christian life than I share, as I believe the whole purpose of Christ's coming and his gift of the Spirit is that we might become the person He created us to be -- the redemption of self. For me, the Christian life leaves me free to decide for myself, out of the new transformed mind Christ produces in me (see Rm. 12: 1-2). God's will becomes our will (Phil. 2: 13), and provided we are not choosing to do something sinful, we can presume that God has no problem with our choosing.
Your mentioning that you contact Grace "only when Christ leads me to do so" gives the impression that you yourself have no inclination to do so or not, and that your ever little action is dictated to you by Christ. Is that how you experience your spiritual life?
I had a phase in my spiritual life, when I was in love with Jesus and so decided to give myself to Him, but I didn't identify Him with the Church, not even with Christianity as religion. I felt that my loving relationship (and I think I already was receiving mystical graces at this point) with Jesus Christ could develop out of the Catholic Church, sacraments and institutionalized religion. In fact, I thought some aspects of Christianity to be unnecessary, redundant or even bad for spiritual growth. It was a beautiful phase, as far as I remember, from some point of view.
But then I started to feel like some kind of intellectual cogniton and conviction was descending onto me and penetrating my mind, which I gradually described to myself as "Jesus is the Church". I remember a point when I didn�t believe in the resurrection of the body and the new earth and heaven, so at a certain point of saying the Creed I felt that I didn�t believe in the rest of what I was declaring being at church. But then one day I realized that I believe in the resurrection of the body, but I don�t know what it means, so I started to read and then I found out that it�s a true and beautiful, and deeply wise dogma, directly pertinent to my personal spiritual life. The same with other dogmas and with the efficacy of sacraments which I started to see as channels of grace no matter what is the state of their receivers.
Finally, I started to believe that the Catholic Church is Jesus and that she transmitts His truth. It was no longer a human tradition, with human ideas and theories, but an embodiment of Christ, in fact, THE body of Christ.
Of course, I don�t like everything that goes on in the Church, I can even disagree with papal teaching and so on, but there�s this deep conviction that the Church is a means by which Christ is present to me and communicates with me, and now when I try to imagine otherwise, and imagine myself not receiving sacraments or not being a part of it, I simply can�t imagine that.
I hear all the time that people see God as different from Jesus, or Jesus different from the Church, and I can understand that and empathize with that, having been an atheist for 7 years, and then not-fully-Catholic for another three or so. But for me it�s not possible anymore to see Jesus as acting separately from the Church, although I think that He acts in other religions too. But in Christianity He and the Church are one. He said to St. Paul � �why are you persecuting ME?� Not, why are you persecuting my Church, or my Apostles, or my beloved people, but ME. So it makes me think that He identifies particularly with the Church, so if I want to have a personal relationship and union with Christ, I can�t bypass the Church, a have to find Him in His Church and as Church. This is very, very difficult, because the Church is made of people, not �made of Christ�, speaking a bit clumsily. But He didn�t say: �Oh, I don�t to become a man and hang out with those people, because they�re not perfect, and they are sinners, and they will distort my message and so on�. He entered fully our condition. This makes me enter fully the Church, even if I get angry at what priests sometimes say in their homilies or I get angry at the state of Polish episcopal hierarchy and its politics.
I hear you, Alariel, emphasizing your loving relationship and union with Jesus Christ, our Lord, and I am happy to see it and I think it�s an amazing gift and your surrender is also an amazing gift to Him. But how do you see the Church? What is she for you? Do you think that your personal communication with Christ is �higher�, �more authentic� than the communication via the Church?
What is emphasized in Catholic mystics such as John of the Cross or Teresa of Avila, is that they always put their spiritual experiences below the authority of ecclesial magisterium. I couldn�t understand it for a long time, but now I do. What is your opinion about it? I think one of my spiritual goals would be to fully integrate my mystical experiences with the Church�s tradition, to the point where �I�m just a member of the Church�, living out her experience of union with Jesus, and this �just a member� is in fact something wonderful.
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